Hello, to introduce myself, I stumbled across this website on May 10 (2009). I have probably visited it every day since, and I can honesty say it has changed me forever. I had struggled with masturbation and then porn on and off for the past 15 years since my mid teens. I haven't looked at porn since finding this site and have stopped masturbating with the exception of two instances (my longest stint was 34 days orgasm-free). The times I slipped up have made me more aware of the withdrawal effects and strengthened my resolve to avoid masturbation as well as porn. Anyway, I truly see my life being transformed by the truth Marnia has shared with us through her book and this website. It is has been so timely in my life. Finding this site followed years of being single and struggling back and forth with porn, and then just recently a racey month long fertilized-driven frenzy which ended as predicted and left me at my lowest low. Now since May 10 my life is being renewed. I have been reading books about life and love that are ringing so true to me, and I have started reading my Bible again and actually hearing God speaking to me. I believe His hand is on me, and I can see it very clearly now in the events of the past year. I am learning my lessons the hard way, and at least I am finally learning my lessons!
So, my question here is about a new partner. As predicted by Marnia's book, a very special woman has come into my life in the past month. I am sure being off the dopamine roller coaster ride had something to do with this. Although I haven't talked to her about this website, it's already clear we both do not want to start anything sexual at this early stage. But I know nurturing touch and some of the Exchanges will be important glue in our relationship. I am struggling right now with how I can engage in nurturing touch without my animal brain kicking in. I mean, just sitting close to her, maintain eye contact, or holding her hand and I start to have an erection. I find this very embarrassing and awkward to try and cover up. By myself in bed at night I find just my excitement about meeting her is keeping me awake and giving me an erection. This is even though I have not fantasized about her sexually at all. It must be all subconscious; she is a beautiful woman! So can anyone suggest to me how I can rein in my subconscious animal brain at the early stages I am at here? I want to focus on getting to know my new partner and strengthen the relationship with non-sexual cuddling without being distracted by an awkward erection.
Thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to read this. This community is truly a wonderful place!