My experience staying away from masturbation.

Submitted by urover on
Printer-friendly version

Discovered this website when I was looking up on the Internet for more on abstinence from masturbation.
If possible, I'd like to keep away from orgasm until I find a partner (for life), and then it'll be intercourse leading to orgasm and not masturbation, hopefully.

This is my 8th day of staying away from masturbation and things have been surprisingly smooth. The first 6 days just flew by what with work and others things to think of. I made sure sexual thoughts did not take my hand to the penis and the first couple of days, I flicked my finger on my cheek to try associating orgasm with pain. I don't intend to continue this flicking thing so as to avoid hard-coding it to the brain.

But on the 7th day, I had a lot of sexual thoughts and watching a sexy Indian woman in a movie and having nothing to do or think of all saturday was difficult and I could not avoid erections.
Today (8th day) morning, while peeing, I saw a blob of the thickest ever semen on my penis and upon further examination it was very sticky, white and thick. The question is.. why did I leak semen? Is this normal when staying away from orgasm?

Wish me luck in finding a partner and in keeping away from masturbation.

I'm not an expert

on semen. Smile But I think lots of things are "normal," especially when we change our habits overnite. (I'm not saying there's a better way...just that it would be surprising if your body didn't acknowledge a change in *some* way.)

That's a very ambitious goal. Did you check out the list of things that comfort singles while they're attracting a partner? http://www.reuniting.info/forum/352 Wishing you a cute sweetheart!

Welcome to the site.

Welcome!

I'm curious, what are your reasons for wanting to avoid masturbation and orgasm?

If you read some of the articles on this site, you'll see that one of the recommended practices is karezza - making love without orgasm. The theory is that it preserves relationship harmony, whereas conventional sex (with orgasm) gradually works to create disharmony and separate the partners. No one is going to force this practice on you, of course; I just thought you might find it interesting and worth considering, especially if you want to have one partner for your whole life.

My ex-girl and me were

My ex-girl and me were together for four years and we decided to not have sex till we got married. We somehow thought we'd get married. Now, its been 1 and 1/2 years since we split and I'm not able to like any girl I see. And I got kind of attached of relieving my stress of the lack of a girl by masturbating. Last week, I felt that the number of times and the valuable time wasted for masturbation was increasing by the day and still, I had no satisfaction or a sense of feeling complete. That is why I decided to quit my habit and to preserve my sexual energy for the girl I'll spend the rest of my life with.

@Marnia : Thanks for the warm welcome :)
@CuriousFellow: I don't have a girl, neither am I sexually active, so no Karezza for me.

Keep us posted

on how you feel. (Blog if you like.) One of the first men (I knew...via cyber space) who experimented with cutting back reported that after a few weeks of passing on orgasm, women were asking for his phone number...when he had always had to do the asking while masturbating regularly. Wink

Good luck!

Well, nothing happened for

Well, nothing happened for the first 8 days, but today there was this nice lady at office who smiled at me, and then another woman who kept on talking also trying to involve me into the conversation. Even my superior was in a nice mood and we chatted about my trip to the US and his experience.
Btw, no issues on staying away from masturbation, yet.

Thanks for sharing

your experience. It's interesting that "less" can be "more," isn't it?

If you have time, tell us what you think are the benefits. I've enabled you to blog, if you like.

Welcome!

less is more!

the less orgasms we have the bigger they are when we do have them, and we take our time, just lightly touching can bring on a massive orgasm for both of us..........

how i stopped

it' was my first wife that put the idea into my head, she could go about 12 months without wanting sex, she said she never masturbated.

i started to see how long i could go without orgasm, found i could wait a while, but then she would ask me how long i had waited, that used to trigger me and i had to cum, 6 too 8 wks is the longest i could go.........

funny my second wife cannot go longer than a month, she masturbates in her sleep, she as also orgasmed walking to the shops, but she's working on it..........

mood changes

not sure because i'm never in a bad mood, but my wife said she only gets in a bad mood if she don't orgasm after 1 month, a good way to stop it is to pretend you have already orgasmed, we are trying that at the moment, we will see if she can go longer than a month. :?

Knightlore,

Do you have have sex (without orgasm) in between the orgasms? That's what this site is largely about. You could have your cake and eat it too - enjoying the closeness and connection of sex, minus the orgasms most of the time, and then have sex with orgasm at whatever intervals you choose.

Yep,

orgasm definitely makes you hornier. Sneaky biology! It really LOVES mating frenzy...often leading to burnout on the part of one partner or the other.

Well, I have to apologize

Well, I have to apologize for not posting any updates on this. I had only lasted 26 days without masturbation. On the 27th day I couldn't just keep myself under control any longer. It could also have been due to the fact that I was addicted to soft porn images and I kept watching some images once in a while. But on that day when I came, I really didn't feel like it was the best orgasm contrary to what people say. I felt depressed immediately that once again I couldn't keep a promise to myself.

I tried doing the exercise once again after a couple of months but only lasted 3-4 days. I was really low all the time, what with the lack of employment.

Now, I'm experimenting again, and it has been 2 weeks as of today and I'm going very strong. I've deleted all edgy images from my computer and have more control over myself. I am also preventing any unnecessary touching around that area.

I feel like there is a lot of energy inside me but I'm not sure how to channelize it. I'm planning to join a gym since I've got a couple of kilos to lose. On the other hand, I'm 24 and yet to find someone nice to have a relationship with - which in other words is a life-time partner. Good intelligent girls are hard to come by, or I'm blind. Not sure how many years I can keep my sexual desires locked. I am getting desperate.

Thanks for letting us know

how you're doing. Sounds like socializing should be a major priority now. Are you spending time around others? Gym's good, too, of course. You might also have a look at the solo practices in the Wiki as a way to ease sexual frustration.

Yes, I suspect it feels like you're sitting on a volcano. Wink Yet you're actually doing well. When you do orgasm can you avoid porn and flashbacks? Can you set your own schedule? Those things might help you find balance.

*big hug*

Just to let you know I'm on

Just to let you know I'm on day 38 and going strong. It feels great to be able to do decide about something and stick with the decision.
Well, Marnia.. I used to look at soft porn (very little nudity) during orgasm but ever since I stopped masturbation, I've only done porn once and have been able to control myself well otherwise.

However, on the flip side, there is this intense sexuality I feel in the mind every time I see or speak to pretty women. I don't have erections as I speak.. no.. I'm not a pervert, but I have a strong desire to get closer to the woman.

What's a flashback?
--
Still searching.....

That's a terrific report,

although, as a woman, I can tell you that I never regarded erections as signs of perversion. Wink I think of them more as "penises who have excellent taste in women," even though I know their owners may have different ideas. *grin*

So your reaction may be uncomfortable for you, but I think it's normal. Biology means business when it comes to getting our attention on procreation! Some people find that channeling the excess sexual energy upward is useful:

Solo Practices
http://www.reuniting.info/node/3299

Daily meditation seems to help, too, although it works indirectly.

A flashback is an unwanted "movie" or "image" that plays in your head long after the event (in this case a porn video). It can trigger cravings, just like the original did. There's a wiki page on dealing with them here:

Coping with Flashbacks
http://www.reuniting.info/coping_with_porn_flashbacks

Thanks for the support

Thanks for the support Marnia :). Hmm.. Flashbacks..not really about porn images, but more about the women I meet daily. Again, no sexual fantasies, but I keep imagining and remembering how they looked, smiled or talked - which I think is normal to a certain extent.
---
Desperate single

Well, this is at office. So

Well, this is at office. So I'm not sure if I should approach these women keeping our corporate policy in mind. One other strange thing is that every girl I'm attracted to is married :(. Not sure why that happens. Maybe I find that maturity sexy... I don't know.

I would bet...

that even the married ones have some single friends. Wink Women often enjoy helping to match people up. Why not tell one of your married work friends that you think you're ready to find a mate? Watch what happens. *grin*

Hi

I had this experience of semen coming out at about the 9th day of my abstinence. However this duration increases if during this period if I have less thoughts about sex , which means when I do not think about sex at all during the abstinence period , the day at which semen comes out gets pushed to the 12th or the 13th day.

And it was so uncomfortable that I used to masturbate to empty the semen, and this would start the cycle all over again !

This is a tricky problem and I haven't really come across a proper solution to this.

However I have theory that as you keep practising abstinence slowly the amount of semen that comes out and the frequency should come down, just like how saliva does not get produced when you don't think of food.

However this does not mean that you should stop thinking about sex completely, but when you stay within the limits the energy is re-chanellized , reducing these kind of issues.

Any ways I am on a long time abstinence period and I will get back with my results.

cheers

Today is Day41, and I

Today is Day41, and I seriously feel like I'm sitting on a volcano. During my bath I almost wanted to jerk off, but controlled it. However, I'm not sure if I can get through the day like this and I'm afraid I'll be back to Day 0 by the end of this day.

Well, I really do not want

Cold water really doesn't do much to the 'heat'. I've tried that a lot.

Well, I really do not want to masturbate at all. But if I change my mind, I'd like to practice orgasm without ejaculation.

And today, I really wouldn't even need to think about porn to get through my volcanic eruption. :D