40 Years Of Hatred - Gone

Submitted by fleur_rare on
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(out of todays TAT newsletter:)

"Here's a story from TAT Trainer Dick Morrill about how the shift for someone he was working with happened in an unusual and beautiful way.
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I just have to share an incredible experience I had recently in a TAT session that I did with an old friend. We have a lot in common: we're both carpenters, both in the theater, both went to Viet Nam and both came home with PTSD.

I had wanted to do TAT with him for about ten years, but was always a little shy about approaching him, or if I did mention it he wasn't ready to hear about it at the time. Well, I called him last weekend to tell him about the death of a mutual friend in the theater, and we got to talking about what we were doing these days, and I told him about TAT. The time was right, and we finally made an appointment to do it.

Once again, I was a little anxious. I knew that he had had some real traumas while in Viet Nam, and that he had PTSD, including nightmares, etc., but we had never sat down to talk about the specifics. When he told me some of his stories, the workshop we did in Columbus, GA came to mind because my friend was an Army Ranger, an expert at his job, and, like one of the vets in GA, he also fell out of a helicopter from about 50 feet. [Dick was one of five TAT Trainers who led a workshop for military personnel and combat veterans in Columbus, Georgia last year. To read more, clic k here].

So that's all background.

As I led him through the opening step about TAT being too easy to work, something happened, although I saw no change in his face or posture, etc. When he put his hands down he told me that, at first, what I was saying seemed superficial. Then as I was saying that "TAT could be of some help", he noticed his focus "migrating to in front of his eyes". As he was telling me about how he had been aware of that shift in his thinking, all of a sudden he noticed there was still a shift happening. He asked, rhetorically, "What's happening? Something's happening" (as opposed to asking, " What happened?"), and tears started coming to his eyes. He/ we were actually watching the shift happen, as it was happening...while his hands were in his lap.

He had never thought about the fact that he deserved to live, and deserved happiness and PEACE. And now, he was watching himself become aware of it all. Mind you, we haven't gotten to Step 1 yet. He kept repeating, "What's happening?" as it unfolded. I think he may have even said, "What's happening to me?"

We were together for 3 hours, and yet only had time to do three steps, so I let him pick which third step he wanted to do. He had been adamant about not forgiving his commanding officer (and others in his life), and from the stories he told, he had plenty of reason for this. I had talked a lot about the importance of forgiveness, but he was pretty rigid about it.

Nonetheless, he chose to do the forgiveness steps, and after he put his hands down, he was still unforgiving, but around 5 to 10 seconds later, once again he/we watched as the shift happened, and the resistance to forgiving faded away...AS WE WATCHED. And gradually he couldn't find the hate any more, hard as he tried. He was aware that the guy did what he did, and it was all in the past. There was a lot of laughter. He kept pointing out that it was actually funny, but he could not hate him anymore.

Another thing he saw was how funny it was that he came to look upon his PTSD as something he was "grateful for". "How could that possibly be?", he kept asking. But he became aware that without his PTSD he would not have met his wife and gotten to where he is now, with a loving family with three wonderful, loving children. And he saw how important it was that he let all this go, because his children deserved a peaceful untroubled father, not one who was filled with the stress of hate, who would, maybe, "make it 'til 65, and then die". And then he sat there noticing how he was forgiving all the people he had resented in his life, like watching film clips of all those people flashing slowly before his eyes, and noticing, one at a time, that he didn't hate them any more, that he couldn't hate them any more. Meanwhile, he's laughing and crying through all of this discovery of who he truly is.

The amazing thing was to watch it happening. When he put his hands down each time, that was when he would be aware that a "shift" had happened, but several times he/we watched as the "shift" was actually happening, and he would tell me that something was happening, but he was courageous enough to let it happen, and to watch, as all that deeply held, deeply hidden stress dissolved.

And as far as his "identity" of being a Green Beret, he said, "A green beret is a HAT! I'm not a hat. I'm me; a loving father, family man, with a home, a wonderful life, and a lot of Love."

I felt like I had just watched a miracle happen. How blessed are we to get to see that?

I spoke with him on the phone a few days later, and he said his wife couldn't believe that 40 years of hating could be gone in just one 3-hour session.

Someone asked me what I was doing if the session lasted 3 hours and we only had time to do 3 Steps. I was simply being present... and I listened.

Dick Morrill
TAT Professional/Trainer"

(made me cry, it is so beautiful)

Comments

TAT

This is how it happens... I know because it's finally happening to me. It's nowhere near as dramatic and taking a lot longer than three hours, but that shift where it just happens, is exactly how it happens. It doesn't happen in the head. I used to ask people how they did it, and they'd just say, "Oh, one day I realized I just (fill in the blank... "loved my dad," or whatever), so I let go of my hurt and forgave." Another person said, "Oh, I just realized that it's not about me and stopped taking things personally." All that is how the conscious mind interprets the after effects of the subconscious shift, and so, for me, try as I might to emulate them, it didn't work. When the conditions are right, it just happens, so the key is to create those conditions. Looks like for this guy, it was that he deserved to live, be happy, and be at peace, and somehow the conditions for THAT realization came to be as well. I want to know, cuz I've been working hard to create them for myself, and so far, the only tool I've had was my mind. Maybe it's love? Maybe sometimes it's just time. Or maybe it's TAT!

I didn't know what TAT was when I first saw this post. I did a web search and found this list:

TAT Tattoo
TAT Tourism Authority of Thailand
TAT Time After Time (song)
TAT Turn Around Time
TAT Thematic Apperception Test
TAT Tapas Acupressure Technique
TAT Tyrosine Aminotransferase
TAT The Astonishing Tribe (Sweden)
TAT Technical Assistance Team
TAT Tiffani-Amber Thiessen
TAT Thrombin-Antithrombin Complex
TAT Transactivator of Transcription (HIV protein)
TAT Total Air Temperature
TAT Tired All the Time (medical shorthand)
TAT Tetanus Antitoxin
TAT Theoretical Arrival Time
TAT Three Affiliated Tribes
TAT Touraine Air Transport (airline)
TAT Ti Amo Tanto (Italian: I love you a lot)
TAT Transient Accommodations Tax
TAT Testing and Training (SW Development and QA Testing)
TAT Trans-Atlantic Telephone cable
TAT Transitional Automated Ticket (airlines)
TAT Transport Aérien Transrégional (French: Regional Air Transport)
TAT Tatry/Poprad, Slovakia - Tatry/Poprad (Airport Code)
TAT To Accompany Troops
TAT Tactical Analysis Team
TAT Trans-America Trail (off-road jeep/motorcyce trail)
TAT Termination Attempt Trigger
TAT Truth and Transmission (Foundation)
TAT Technical Assessment Team
TAT Technology Applications Team
TAT Terrorist Action Team
TAT Test Auto Test
TAT Tyumen Avia Trans
TAT Tactical Airsoft Team
TAT Totally Antisymmetric Tensor
TAT Transgenic Arthropod Team
TAT Teens Against Television
TAT Totally Awesome Trip (slang)
TAT Teenage Travelers (Family Motor Coach Association)
TAT Two-Axis Tracking
TAT Tactical Airlift Technology
TAT Timed Automata with Tasks
TAT Test Analysis Table
TAT Time for Average Turnaround
TAT Transportation and Ammunition Tracking
TAT Thermally-Activated Time-Dependent (reliability model)
TAT Turbine Air Temperature
TAT Technical Assistance in Telecom Sector (India)

I figure it must be Tapas Acupressure Technique. Wink

HELP!!!!!!!

...what a long list!!!!!!

Let's pick "Tapas Acupressure Technique"
www.tatlife.com

The phrases about (not) deserving life etc. are part of the very first TAT session for everybody. After these initial steps you go to the specific problems of the person. Usually you have more phrases and steps.

And the guy did release a lot of emotion linked to his traumas in between those few steps. Mainly the session WAS about releasing a lot of emotion: "meanwhile he's crying and laughing..." (LINKED TO THE TRAUMAS! releasing emotion without the trauma link DOES NOT HELP THE HEALING) (just a hint to "how and why does it work?")

TAT

In my experience, the emotional release is what happens after the shift. Something's gotta shift before you're ready for any of that, but what I hear you saying is that after the shift, the emotional release, if linked, helps the healing go even deeper?

Also, is the reason emotional release doesn't help unless linked is that it could just reinforce the pain without doing anything to release it?

never thought about it that way...

first the shift then the emotional release?

To my experience it looked like being the other way round.

Now I'd say, yes you're right, there seem to be two shifts: First the one that happens before the emotional release (because the material was locked in place, so there has to be some shift to loosen it). Second the shift after or during the emotional release: deeper understanding of yourself, a lot of changes to the psychological, physical, emotional, intellectual links and inner systems. (which lead to changes in behaviour, health, believe systems, life etc. without any effort)
All those benefits when you are tuned in to the traumatic material while the release happens.

Just releasing emotions (without the tuning in to the originating trauma stuff) is a relief and helps to get the steam out of yourself, but it won't give all those benefits. It might keep you healthier because your system releases pressure then, but the pressure rebuilds after the release. And in the worst case it might get you to prison...

he he... Terrorist Action Team...

TAT

I think you're right. Two shifts!

And sometimes the shift isn't dramatic like above. Sometimes you just wake up one day and realize the hatred or whatever is gone or substantially less. I guess the body does it different ways depending on the conditions. I know I've done it both ways, though not as profound as the above.