Submitted by silentrenewal on
Printer-friendly version

I have a theory that I would like to share and get feedback on. The idea of using every facet of our being from cognitive, to emotional, to behavioral to physical as well as subtle, causal and non-dual energies to become the FULL light beings that we all are. To be able to focus our divine energies onto ourselves, our partners, our friends, family, communities and the universe. I know it is possible, and I would like to know how best to channel energy, to create harmony starting with myself and my intimate partner - to allow the light to flow and glow between us. I want to link with like minded individuals that struggle, learn and have experiences that have helped them to navigate through problems, obstacles, and challenges. Sexuality is so potent and so key and I need to explore all its energies. I have a very profound sex drive, but can't seem to channel it in a way that gets me towards achieving all that I can be. Guidance and support and ideas are much appreciated.

And the THEORY is?

Where is the theory behind your idea as it pertains to sexuality? What is it that you want to be with the help of the channeled sexual energy?

" . . . for the Image of Creation is spiritual, nevertheless that it may appear, and furnish Use in the natural World, . . . it must be clothed in Matter."


Thanks for the quick response.... I'm currently away from North America in a different time zone - I wrote my comment, went to bed and when I woke up happily found two responses Smile It's so refreshing that things here happen frequently and there is constant interaction. Thank you for that.

and so the first thing that hit me was Mr. William Blake (love the picture) saying, "Define what it is you want to be!!!" You hit the nail smack right on the head. It's like you metaphorically opened up a dark pathway that requires clarity and attention in order to reach wherever it is I want to be..... Thank you for the insight! I'll be excavating and coming back with words to share.

Thanks Marina - I've read about Karezza, and exploring the site - and it resonates deeply with me - I feel like a wave of relief crashes on me every time I read about it. Notice that I have not experienced it - would actually like to ask if there is any self-cultivation techniques??? Due to my work obligations, I am away from my wife at months at a time, and we last month welcomed a gorgeous baby girl into this world. But sexually speaking, we have not had sex, or intimate relations for the duration of the pregnancy/birth period, almost 12 months now.... I've put myself on the side in order to support my wife and adhere to her wishes during this time. I've channeled most of my sexual energy back into other avenues of my life, work, study, etc... I've gone through anger, resentment, confusion, breathing, focusing, meditating, playing music, a whole range of things - but still not able to channel it back into our relationship in a way that opens us to wanting to be with each other physically (not strictly intercourse) but even hugging, kissing, holding, fondling, or teasing....

Thanks for listening...

You may want to

send a PM to Neil. He and his wife took a time-out, too, for a different reason, and then stumbled upon karezza. I think he could relate to everything you've said...and be good support as you move toward experimenting with a new approach.

Pregnancy does such a number on women...and like all changes that happen at a hormonal/neurochemical level (such as the post-orgasm cycle) much of the resulting change in perception is hidden from them. Instead the rational part of the brain often takes over and *blames* everything and everyone for their gut level changes in feelings. Very uncomfortable for mates.

Biology - which "knows" that offspring with strong infant/caregiver bonds do better, and so wants Mom's attention on them - can be like a cruel puppeteer.

Karezza is one way to get everyone's needs met. It doesn't leave partners feeling as drained, so the woman can handle both relationships more easily. And men can find it surprisingly satisfying, too. It also meets both partners' needs for regular, affectionate touch.

In any case, men like you deserve a halo. *presents glowing halo, with curtsy* If you read the story of John Humphrey Noyes, you'll see a parallel. He, too, put his wife's needs first...and swore off all sex...and then rethought the situation Wink and discovered his version of karezza.

Keep us posted.

I did take

your advice and sent a message to Neil. I also read the article of Mr. Noyes, very interesting. Thank you for being so supportive and kind. I must now Bow to you and salute you from my heart to thank you for all your work and for providing such an amazing platform for all of us to interact and share. *Silent bow full of gratitude and appreciation* Smile


Wow! So happy you made that comment. I am a big Wilber fan, read a lot of his work and frequent the Integral community. I've also been paying special attention to the work of David Deida, his books and seminars. If you got any specifics to share please PM me, so glad you mentioned it Wink

The comment you made "from

The comment you made "from cognitive, to emotional, to behavioral to physical as well as subtle, causal and non-dual" is straight Wilbur talk. I actually was convinced for a second that you were my ex boyfriend, signed on with a new username than the one he usually uses. He also likes Wilbur and Deida. He too has a "profound" sexuality. When I saw that sentence I thought, "Such a dead giveaway, as though I wouldn't recognize him!". But I guess the reading of Wilbur isn't as rare as I thought. Or perhaps people interested in integral theory are more attracted to this site. Wilbur's been mentioned a few times here, but its not explicitly been delineated what a more integral approach to sexuality might look like in the framework that he lays out. There's something creepy about him I can't put my finger on, so I haven't really pursued much of his work.

My personal favorite for learning how to utilize the energy of desire are two books by Lama Yeshe:
"The Bliss of Inner Fire" and "Intro to Tantra."

If you look into them, let me know what you think. I'm also a fan of Deida, from what I've read of his (Way of the Superior Man).

Laws of peace, of love, of

Laws of peace, of love, of unity:
Of pity, of compassion, of forgiveness.
Let each chuse one habitation:
His ancient infinite mansion:
One command, one joy, one desire,
One curse, one weight, one measure
One King, one God, one Law.

" . . . for the Image of Creation is spiritual, nevertheless that it may appear, and furnish Use in the natural World, . . . it must be clothed in Matter."

"Sexual energy"??????

Hi Silentrenewal:

I would like to make a few observations in regard to this concept of "sexual energy" by which we all are inescapably flooded as soon as we read or listen to anything pertaining sex. Indeed, it would appear that everybody believes - or has been brainwashed into believing - that the Human Organism is endowed with a variety of specialized energies all predisposed to the operation of specific organs or functions. So that - along with this 'sexual' energy - we do have a 'pancreatic' energy, a 'respiratory' energy, a 'digestive' energy, a 'cardiac' energy, a 'cerebral' energy, and so on to cover the entire spectrum of our anatomy. You may wish to ask Yourself how in the world we came to believe in this incredible imbecility. The answer is simple, though sad : we all "love" - as all children do - bedtime stories which support , or at least leave undisturbed - our vices and perversions. So we enjoy immensely, just to make a few examples, Darwin's evolution theory, Pasteur's germ theory, Freud's libido theory, Christianity's salvation theory, Science's Humans' omnivorism theory.

And the "sexual energy" concept as well! Because, You see, by believing that this energy is of sexual nature, we are all fully justified to expend it sexually, which is exactly what we have been lookink for since the beginning of our self-deception game.

A game away from the truth, of course. Which simply is that "energy is energy" and the reason why we feel it so concentrated upon our genital organs is that these organs are kept under a chronic condition of inflammation systematically caused by a proteic intoxication, produced, in turn, by an omnivorian diet eclatly unnatural to us Humans.

And now a further observation on the word "energy" that we use at all times in conjunction with the word "sexual". It is very interesting to observe how skilled we are, in the process of fooling ourselves into a preconceived idea, in choosing words which keep us away from specifics. In this context, the word 'energy' suites us beautifully on account of its abstractiveness, of its capacity of keeping us safe from unpleasant encounters. Because, You see, we unconsciously know that behind the curtain 'energy' lies the reality of every orgasm equating to the squandering of a precious substance of concentrated nutrition meant to nourish our neurological system. We all unconsciously know that by sucking from our bloodstream all this powerful nutrition we, de facto, starve ourselves to an almost total coma in which we bury our identity and all our divine powers and attributes. But, most tragically, we also 'consciously' know that we love the orgasm's thrill, that we must have it, because..... after all, it's so beneficial to our health and wellbeing, as authoritatively asserted by Science, and even Religion.

Do You see how 'magic' is this word 'energy' when used in conjunction with sex? It is as magic as the word 'orientation', which let us lull ourselves in our hopeless hypocrisy.

But now You express the desire to save this precious nutritional substance, and to channel it in some direction and some destination. Where exactly are You going to channel it? To what organ or gland are You going to channel it? And why to this organ first rather than that? What knowledge do You really have of Your Organism so that to be proficient in taking the right decisions, at the right time, in these physiological and neurological complex matters? But more than anything else, why in the world would You afford the arrogance of involving Yourself with such an obscure intricacies when You know that there is a Supreme Intelligence who conceived and realized Your Being, Your physical structure included, and Who has guided every step of Your evolution?

Of course, You are not a puppet! And because of that, Your interplay with this Supreme Intelligence is crucial. But it consists only in the decision of stopping to alter and disrupt Your biochemistry with the perverse diet of Civilization. Return to Your biological regimen and the Universal Intelligence will do happily the balance! This is my humble, only suggestion.

These observations i have presented to You in the hope that You may accord them some attention. Perhaps a reflection.

My best wishes.

jb Mirabile-caruso.

"Foliarism": the pathway back to our lost Divinity.

sexual urge and energy

To my experience it is the masturbating/orgasming that did connect our sexual energy to this pattern:
"by which we all are inescapably flooded as soon as we read or listen to anything pertaining sex."

I started masturbating as a child - I was miserable and it felt consoling. That way I did start to link my brain patterns concerning sexuality at a very young age.

You can make feel ANYTHING the way you described as flooding. Just use orgasm (or heating up) and you WILL create a powerful trigger. (that's something that is used in mind control programs btw. and sexual abuse does the same).
It is NOT the nakedness, not a nice butt, not breasts or whatever that will start the flooding. Just if you EVER did orgasm (or heat up) on one of those you have put down a path making this thing look and feel "sexually urgent".

I would like to ask the Asexual Community (Marnia mentioned them recently) if they ever did masturbate. I guess not. So their brains never were linked that way.

Great Observation!

[quote]I would like to ask the Asexual Community (Marnia mentioned them recently) if they ever did masturbate. I guess not. So their brains never were linked that way.[/quote]

I too started masturbating at an early age. The images that I used were very powerful and still are to this day! I am married to a woman who very seldom, if ever masturbated when she was younger and never does now. She has none of these links! I have some male friends who, although quite heterosexual, do not seem to be affected so much by the sight of a beautiful woman. I suspect they did not masturbate to pornographic images and have not created those links. Oh, how I would love to ask!

I know for sure that I am taking active steps to minimize this influence of the links. My wife and I now make love only with the lights OFF. I also, find I keep my eyes closed more as I relax into Karezza. This alone eliminates my most powerful sexual sense. It allows me to keep the heat down, so I can love my wife more fully as she deserves.

sounds... american...

...I remember that I did not understand what it means, when I heard it in (country-) songs.... when they were talking about "turning off the light".... It took me some time to understand that it was ment as a hint....

I wasn't brought up with the idea that you have to turn off the light for sex. And I never wanted to. In a Tantra book I found "Tantra loves the light". It's so wonderfull to look into each others eyes.

But I really understand why you are doing it!! Wish you very much that the rewiring does not take to long! And if yes: Any way of Karezza is better than none. Great that you are investing in this!