Why do I feel sad? intense bouts of depression?

Submitted by razil on
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ok so longest i've been in past away from orgasm was six months but then i slipped back into cycle repeatedly

Now every time i try to go without orgasm i have a wet dream and afterward i experiences more intense longings that led me to orgasm again. whys this? i can make it perfectly for 7-14 days until i orgasm while sleeping- then i have a very hard time abstaining. if i could only avoid dream orgasms... forever i'd be set free

about 24 hours after no orgasm i start to get bouts of depression and suicidal thoughts that can get pretty severe and I connect the the feelings with alot of self pity for myself. they depression sessions dont last more than 1 half hour (i think). and they continue as i go longer without orgasm with increasing frequency

so why is this? what can i do? i'm not liking this and i don't know if abstaining is the right thing to be doing b/c it make me think messed up thoughts.

Why beat yourself

up over it? We all have dreams and have played tons of different characters in them. Do you take all the characters to be you? Why take this so personal? What about times when a wet dream occurs and you are not even aware of it? If that has not happened it is bound to. I have had that happen, as well as two wet dreams within hours of each other on the same night.
It is really impersonal just as digestion and breathing are. The body breaths, digests and its heart beats all while "you" sleep, and those functions continue during the waking state, deep sleep and dreaming sleep without the need for a "you" to be present.
If you can have a wet dream in sleep without even being aware of it until you awake, then for me that is really some evidence at how impersonal they are.
As far as the "why", there may not be a reason why. If I am dehydrated I tend to have dreams about going to the fridge and gulping down water. After I have played tennis I have woken to my arm flying forward as I was hitting the ball with the racket in the dream.
Dreams could totally be brain farts or you could make them into some big deal.
Your depression may be due to your resisting these wet dreams since you are powerless over them but want to control them with your conscious mind and as a result feel helpless. If your conscious mind was in control you probably would not be dreaming. So, it may be better to stop resisting the dreams and if you are willing, surrender them to God.
Another way to hold the dreams in mind is that they are serving some higher purpose that you are not aware of at the current time, but that God may make you aware of when the time is right (which is not known). You can also look at it as the dreams are serving some purpose to help you process out stuff from the subconscious mind.
For me it is best to remain an impartial witness to the wet dream (including the content of the dream) and if the conscious mind makes some connection that results in some release or understanding then great, if not, just allow them to be without resisting/judging them.