ok so longest i've been in past away from orgasm was six months but then i slipped back into cycle repeatedly
Now every time i try to go without orgasm i have a wet dream and afterward i experiences more intense longings that led me to orgasm again. whys this? i can make it perfectly for 7-14 days until i orgasm while sleeping- then i have a very hard time abstaining. if i could only avoid dream orgasms... forever i'd be set free
about 24 hours after no orgasm i start to get bouts of depression and suicidal thoughts that can get pretty severe and I connect the the feelings with alot of self pity for myself. they depression sessions dont last more than 1 half hour (i think). and they continue as i go longer without orgasm with increasing frequency
so why is this? what can i do? i'm not liking this and i don't know if abstaining is the right thing to be doing b/c it make me think messed up thoughts.