This is our first "wiki" article. If you are a site blogger, and you have something to add, or revise, please jump in.
Recently a site member sent me an email, which started a discussion on several topics I'm very curious about: the power of sex to transform consciousness, the distinctions between conventional sex and karezza, the role of intention in sacred sexuality - to name a few. Here are some points from our exchange. Please add your own.
After reading your books and thinking about the two approaches to intimacy, I could not help but make a correlation between what you are finding and what a respected spiritual teacher mentions in his work.
Have you heard of Dr. David Hawkins? In his book Transcending the Levels of Consciousness he has sections on desire and Love, and also has a table called "Diagnostic Differential: Infatuation vs. Love" (below).
Hawkins created a map of consciousness which correlates with the ego/Spirit [concepts used in A Course in Miracles and its offshoots, such as the work of Eckhart Tolle]. NOTE: for those of you unfamiliar with Hawkins' work, here is a table that lays out the levels of consciousness, which he correlates with numbers to make it easier to speak in short-hand about certain emotions. However, not everyone is a Hawkins fan.
The goal is to help people avoid anything that is below "200." From this table you can see that it seems that if one is stuck in "Passion/Attraction" then that person is in a negative energy field within consciousness. For me, the intention to pursue orgasm tends to leave me feeling like I am hanging around this level of "Passion/Attraction" (level 145 on the scale). Dr. Hawkins points out that this is due to passion's origin, which is primarily the animal instinct. Sex itself is at about 200, which points out its neutrality. In other words, the intention behind how one uses it determines the experience.
Diagnostic Differential: Infatuation vs. Love
|Origin||Animal instinct||Spiritual state|
|Mental Function||Impaired reality testing||Uplifted|
|Intention||Mate, get||Bond, enjoy|
|Brain physiology||Left brain-physical||Right brain-etheric|
|Emotional||Frantic, fearful, torment||Self-fulfilling|
|Body functions||Impaired, loss of appetite and sleep||Improved|
|Description||Addiction, craving||Fulfillment, content|
|Pathology||Suicide, stalking, despair,depression||Well-being|
|Intention||Possess, capture, control, own||Be with|
|Loss||Depression, rage, hate, blame||Grief, regret, longing|
|Intellectual function||Romanticizing, Lower Mind||Realistic, Higher Mind|
|Relatedness||demanding, limiting||Harmonious, expansive|
|Good||Satisfy, own||Fulfill, complete|
I replied (and I will include my correspondent's responses):
I read Hawkins' book a couple of years ago, and I think it can be a great compass for steering toward higher vibrations.
It is funny you put it that way since he refers to the map of consciousness and the calibrations of various information as exactly that. He often makes a remark about all the sunken ships at sea before the days of he compass and makes a note to mention that even a small degree off can result in a huge difference in destination.
I agree that intention when having sex matters a lot, whether you speak in vibrational or neurochemical terms. Loving, selfless feelings, for example, probably release more oxytocin, which eases cravings and withdrawal symptoms - even in rats addicted to hardcore drugs. In contrast, selfish sexual feelings probably just send dopamine soaring...with a big drop-off afterward, and a radical shift in feelings. (Perfect recipe for a one-night stand!)
Yes, that correlates well with the map of consciousness. The selfish sexual feelings would be coming out of desire, which is below 200, and, the genuine selfless feelings of Love would be coming out of the Heart at 500+. Dr. Hawkins goes on to explain that once an individual's consciousness crosses over 200 (I think worldwide only about 20% of the people are over 200) he/she begins to develop an etheric brain which actually makes use of different pathways in the physical brain to express the higher energies.
However, I'm pretty sure that intention alone can't completely forestall the neurochemical effects of orgasm. Especially if it's frequent. Even a slight shift in our neurochemistry can make us waver from "selfless" to "I just want an orgasm now!" - and before we know it, we're back in the lower vibrations, even if we're saying and doing many of the same things in our lovemaking, and sincerely believe our intentions haven't changed at all.
I agree intention alone can't forestall the effects of orgasm. It helps to recognize that another pathway is possible (foregoing orgasm), which can also release the tension associated with sexual impulses. Right now, I am sure most everyone thinks sexual tension can only be released via orgasm. They don't realize that the after effects and the glowing perception of your mate can continue for hours or days after the exchange of energy without orgasm. You already do a good job of explaining that in your books, but, of course, the ego needs constant reminding.
It seems at first look that this method [karezza] is either preferred by already spiritually orientated people, or may turn out to be a pathway to God for the addicted and broken hearted. It could be a shortcut to Love in the 500s, according to the map of consciousness, where 540 (unconditional Love) is where healing energies originate. According to Dr. Hawkins this energy level was radiated out through Bill W. [founder of AA], and is present in the 12-step groups. Non-judgmental support seems to allow for unconditional Love/Healing. Perhaps the methods you outline provide that same level of Love (540) to arise between two people, which precipitates healing.
I don't know if you've ever read Course in Miracles, but it insists that the ego is a product of underlying feelings of lack. For me, that's synonymous with low dopamine. The Course says we must use the body differently if we want our minds to be free (to reunite with the Divine). I sense this is one of the purposes of my work. Karezza is a way to link mind and the body. And in my experience, actions ultimately speak louder than intentions. *chuckle*
I think Cupid is about a shortcut to higher consciousness - not because I knew what I was doing (although I did have an intention to help others) but because Something that knew a lot more than I did was guiding me.
Ah, that makes perfect sense. The books are already providing compelling physical evidence that this is a way to use the mind/body that can promote high levels of spiritual awareness.
I have done the Course workbook and intend to do it over soon. Dr. Hawkins knew Helen who wrote down the Course text. He recommends the workbook portion to many of his students. He also knew Bill W., and was with him when he passed away. He tells the story sometimes about how Bill W. was coming in and out of consciousness talking about our "Fathers house with many rooms".
I know some people believe they can get around our subconscious mating programming with intention alone. One friend, for example, insists that intention, combined wtih drawing his sexual energy upward after orgasm alleviates any hangover. However, my husband and I still notice subtle effects and unwelcome projections after conventional orgasm. We ease the effects by striving not to project onto each other. Even when we succeed, they tend to show up elsewhere in our lives.
Makes sense. At least Cupid empowers us to recognize the effects, which in and of itself can help elevate any short term pain associated with the downside. But, one would need to remain honest, and almost have some system to check intention is set correctly and that both people are operating out of integrity and committed to harmony via the methods outlined in the books.
OK, it's your turn to jump in. Feel free to add your replies, thoughts, corrections, and so forth! Simply log into the site, if you are already approved for blogging, and you should see an "Edit" link under the title of the article.