Submitted by Orlin Baev on
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Hello, dear all!

Two and half years ago I found that web site and I was fascinated! Several days ago i saw the book of Marnia "Peace between the sheets" in Sofia, Bulgaria, in Bulgarian language! Wow! i bought it in this very instant, of course and read it within two-three days!

I would like to share my experience:

Do you really mean love making without orgasm or just without ejaculation/ female cumming? According to my experience, one avoids the ejaculation (the men) and the final cumming (the women), but not the orgasm. Without ejaculation any man can have multiple orgasms that eventually lead to the valley, plateau orgasm, if one is open to it. I have had it many times, sometimes for long hours. Afterward the mind is so blissful and pure that one can just stand or walk having the sense of complete oneness with the life and the Universe. And the energy of the partner is within you for about three days - you can virtually feel it, smell it, touch it, sense it - it is in you and around you. Anyway, despite these wonderful experiences, if one goes to extremes with such different love making, one can experience similar feelings as after the regular sex - irritability, weakness, risk avoidance, so on. In this kind of love making the passion is very much welcome (the dopamine) - the movements of the partners are passionate, the penetration is deep and exiting the hole body to extent of explosion. But the difference is that in this case the explosion is aimed upward and results into deep meditative state of bliss and fullness, merging with the partner, like the two bodies and minds are one - non dual unity. The whole body becomes like one member/ vagina and every touch wherever makes one feel ecstasy. The heart opens, the thoughts disappear and every gaze at the partner brings total joy and inspiration. Such love making requires usage of some techniques - bandha traia from the Hindu yoga, the three pumps from Tao yoga, attention focus, breath and eyes control. It leads the partners one step further than the ordinary love making - even not just one step, but the lovers jump over all these miserable side effects of mood drop, distance and their projection on the partner. On the contrary, one wants to see the partner again and again and the infatuated, enamoured state of love lasts for years. In my case this love state and deep inspiration in the presence of the other lasted for nine years.
But, one huge BUT - even tough there are many positive outcomes of such love making, still there are side effects. Although one does not ejaculate, the practitioner experiences a lot of passion, because of the fast movements. Even if one reaches the state of bliss and oneness rapidly after the beginning of the intercourse, he has a habit to experience enormous passion and to transform it into the meditative state of bliss, i.e. to transform the dopamine peaks into Oxycontin and endorphin valley orgasm. It happens, but the price is not little - several hours after the intercourse one can feel some social anxiety and irritability. Far less than after regular sex with ejaculation, of course, but still unpleasant experiences. In comparison with the regular sex, the hangover lasts for maximum one day, if not less - but it is still there, even though mixed with the feeling of unity (yoga)...

Anyway, in my opinion the above described kind of intercourse is wonderful preliminary step for reaching the next level - kareza! If one is still young and passionate, he is not very much ready for immediate start and maintenance of karezza - the passion is too much, fortunately or unfortunately! :) This intermediate level is good preparation for kareza, anyway - the brain, mind and the energy channels prepare themselves for the more subtle experience of kareza. And, answering to my own question, i am sure that when you say lack of orgasms, it means lack of ejaculation and lack of that voluptuous desires, often mistaken with the ecstasy! I am sure that if ones body and mind are prepared with some celibacy and experience of the above described love making, this slower and even immobile act of kareza will even facilitate reaching the valley love state of orgasmic unity, but without the side effects described above! So, after reading your book, now I have new perspectives before me! Thank you for sharing your experiences, Marnia! Your book was so valuable to me, because I grasped the general principles, underlying the whole meaning of such experience!

Yep

I'm stoned for about 3 days after good sex (ejaculation and orgasm for both of us)....maybe I'm doing it better than I thought.....but day 4 I want more or I start getting really pissy.

Orlin,

Actually, my books are not about the pursuit of multiple orgasm without ejaclation, but I'm glad to hear you are still with your lover! That, after all, is the goal of these practices: lasting harmony.

Here's an article, written since the book you read, which I think gets at the difference between karezza and the techniques you've been exploring:

"Comparing Neo-Taoism with Karezza"
http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/neotaoism_and_karezza

I look forward to your further thoughts.