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Submitted by Marnia on
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[From a reader]

I just checked out your website. I really enjoyed reading the article about Karezza and Alice Bunker Stockham.
My family is Quaker all the way back on my mom's side, very inspiring.
I would like to practice sacred sexuality, however I am recovering from a strong addiction to sex (masturbation, fantasies
and using sex as a hook, high or punishment in relationships.) I really feel the the need for tender physical exchange and
nurturance. I am beginning te sex addiction recovery process and it seems like such a long, touch-starved process
between here and there. Any words of wisdom and or encouragement would be appreciated.
I am celebrating with you on the success of your good work.

Sex addiction

Yes, Alice Bunker Stockham is inspiring.
Those Quaker women were really something. I don't know if I mentioned it in
the article, but she was also a naturopath and a spiritualist (medium), and
her husband was both, too. Gary says I'm her reincarnation. *giggle*

In my view, we ALL start with sexual addiction. And the lonelier we are, the more
we're driven to deepen our addiction. It seems to make us emotionally
"self-sufficient," but because of the brain chemisty of addiction, it
actually isolates us emotionally. I was addicted myself in college.

If you get near a library, order a copy of "Karezza," Alice's short book.
One of the letters she reproduces in the back
is from a missionary woman facing the same challenge. Stockham said to treat
"the urge" as a call from God that He needs you to do something. She said,
"Look around and see what you're called to do and pour your energy into

Meanwhile, be gentle with yourself. Efforts at self-control will help some,
but the real shift is from a desire for self-sufficiency to desire for union
and recognition of our interdependence and mutual healing. The things that
help most are, therefore, reaching out to others (lots of hugs and massage
exchanges), nurturing others, and reaching out to the Divine...things that
get your heart open and get your oxytocin flowing. Oxytocin heals cravings,
so it helps with all addictions. And meanwhile you're wracking up great

Touch starved? Maybe, but perhaps you can contribute to the solution. Look
what these folks did? Apparently the idea is
really catching on.

Stay cheerful, and see yourself as part of the solution.

Sex addiction

[From reader]

Thank you, that was such a relief to read your email. I feel happy. I think I will do some service work helping girls/young
women through their right of passage ceremony.
And yes, I do feel that in facing this within myself and finding the deeper life-affirming needs, I am helping in my own way
in healing aloneness and addiction. Yes, when we get over this one we will be ready for the Big Time. And about that I am
very happy.