Day 6 update

Submitted by AlmostTransformed on
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Success, so far!

What are some of the experiences that I've gotten present to so far?

When faced with uncertainty or difficulty - e.g. at work - I feel tempted to masturbate... Not sure why, but something is at play in the human mind/body complex + my past experiences/conditioning, that tells me - don't be with the "negative" emotion, e.g. "resist" it. When I resist "negative" emotions (this includes, thoughts + body sensations), instead of just letting them be, this is where I would get triggered into masturbating. I work in the IT industry (create software), so problems are galore, e.g. they never stop coming...

Disagreements as well as fatigue also seem to also trigger me into reacting like an automaton ...

The other "problem" - I wake up with an erection... and just about every woman I see causes me to daydream immediately about sex....

Let's hope this will pass soon (or not :) )

My end result of this 'sex fast' - is to be able to have sex (or even masturbate) coming from the point of view - "I want it" - rather than - "I need it". So far, it's been a "need" - and I don't think one would necessarily "die" without having sex as one certainly would from abstaining from food for too long.

How I am with alcohol, is the same way I want to be w/orgasms - on a choice basis, rather than on an addiction basis. When I am done with these 90 days, I will have gained a new context on sex and orgasms.

Who, after all, does not want to control all the things that we can control in our life, meaning, what we do as well as what we say, no? :)

Thanks for the responses!

Comments

Hi AT,

Congrats on the 6 days and on the insights into what triggers you... exactly the same stuff that triggers me. I think this awareness and insight is key in overcoming the compulsion to p/m. I'm round about that 90 days now and although I do still get triggered sometimes when I'm stressed with work, or tired, etc, I can see it happening, like it's in slow motion, and resisting the urge isn't much of a fight any more.

And on waking up with an erection - a common experience (judging by this site) - James recently posted some info on how erections happen all the time while we sleep, although I can't find the post right now.. (anyone know? I tried searching the site for 'erection' but there was 100+ results - not surprisingly!)

Good luck,
time_for_change

Here's what James posted

I couldn't find it with the search engine either, but I had asked him for it again privately:

looking up info

* Most healthy men often wake up in the morning with an erection. "Morning wood" and "Morning tent" are slang terms for this. Men have several erections a night as part of their sleep cycle. Many times they wake up and find they are still erect.

This sounds good. That healthy part. I guess I had not realized just how my addiction had affected me this way. I do not think this was happening to me very often if at all. Now that it is.That would explain the sleep being interrupted every night several times a night. I think I am a little past healthy cause they wake me up a lot and It takes me awhile to calm my body down. Urges and cravings are way up when I wake. I hope to reach balance here where I can go through these cycles and stay asleep. I guess this is something else new to me glad I looked this up.

* A man's penis becomes erect in response to sexual arousal and excitement, but it can also become erect as a result of deep relaxation, such as that experienced in deep sleep called REM (rapid eye movement) -- a period of sleep during which you dream.

at least I know I am relaxing for a short time anyway.

* An erection is caused by a rush of blood to the penis. A man's penis -- especially that of a young man -- can also become erect without any kind of arousing stimulation; this is known as "spontaneous erection."

I guess I am going through this phase again. I am not that young but this is starting to occur again.

* The male testosterone level is at its highest in the early morning during restful sleep, usually built up during the night and at its highest around 4-6 a.m. from my understanding.

I guess that explains those feeling a little better

* Many times it has to do with what you are dreaming about -- males can be aroused in their sleep and have a nocturnal emission (wet dream).

I think we have all figured this one out lol.

* No, you do not get an erection because you need to pee. The erection and the need to pee are coincidental. Think about it, do you get a hard-on every time you need to pee?

* Morning erections are technically nighttime erections which happen during Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep (when most dreaming occurs), although men older than sixty years may have them during even non-REM sleep. Generally, males experience four intervals of REM sleep per night. These spontaneous erections in the wee hours are caused by specific neuroreflexes that are stimulated during REM sleep. Morning erections are the tail end of a series of nighttime erections, as many as five per night that can last for 20-30 minutes each.

Like above I think this can help explain the waking many times a night. to someone who had not experienced this for years or really ever I guess it can through the body for a loop. I know it gets intense for me most nights now. I have not slept straight through a night in months. I wake as this says sometimes every 30 minutes or so at least I have an idea why now. Again I think my body is over compensating to all this that is why it wakes me. I would guess at some point I would get more in balance here too. I hope so I really want to sleep like 8 hours in a row again Smiling.

* Many people are not aware of the fact that erections do not just serve sexual purposes; they also are a source of increased blood supply to the penis, so the male body will have several erections at night, just to keep the penis healthy.

Again I like that word healthy. makes me feel better about the whole thing. I guess I am healing more than I thought.

* Waking usually occurs after a session of Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. Just about everyone gets an erection during REM sleep, while you're dreaming. That's why you often wake up from a dream, with a hardon. Also, there is the phenomenon of the "Pee Horn", where you wake up desperate for a pee, with a hardon, and then hit yourself in the eye when you go to the bathroom. Everyone gets it.

Not done this yet. would seem that would wake you up though lol.

I hope this info is accurate. Sounds about right from what I am starting to experience. I think my body has gone this route in hyper mode though. I do have hope that it will calm at some time. I really like the talk of healthy. I have been so messed up for so long. No wonder this addiction causes or influences erections problems. I mean If those night time erections keep things healthy. I do not know if I really got night time erections for years and years before this. I know they are every night all night now. I will not wake annoyed any more. well maybe I will but I will not feel as bad about it now.

Thought others might want to know this. again hope it is good info. I did not research it in great detail. It is just that the moment I read this all of it sounded right from what I had experienced.

Also:

I do know that before I started this healing process. That I was having trouble with erections. I was needing more and more types of stimulation from porn and it still was not helping. I was getting really worried about the whole thing. It had been getting worse and worse for a couple years. Well that anxiety just helped push me deeper into porn as it went along. Hard to believe I could keep getting deeper into it. I mean I probably used every type of porn image and vid out there except for one and that was child porn. What scares me is could I have gone that route one day ? Well at least now I will never know. I am very grateful for that at least. sorry back to what I was saying. Well I was a mess because of this addition and still am. The more I go without porn masturbation and orgasm well the more difficult it becomes to not get an erection lol. Yeah I have had one or two times in the last few weeks where I had to calm myself or be embarrassed. So in my round about way I am trying to say that if you stay away from porn and masturbation your sexual desire will go up. It will go up in a good way. OK that sounds funny rereading it did not mean it that way bad wording. I am not making fun here or anything like that. It is a serious topic and touchy I know.

And

this is embarrassing to type but I think I need to. I know how could I get embarrassed after all this right ? Well it is just I had gone years with my erections getting weaker and weaker. just not hard and a lot of the times just barely so but I kept going in my addiction. I think the worse my problem got the more I would sink into it at times. Well for those out there that may not have tried stopping this addiction or are just starting out and have or think they are having erection problems. I have no erection strength problems any more. This is the embarrassing part. I think tonight is the strongest erection I have had in years and years. Not sure about how some may have been recently while sleeping. out of the ones I have been aware of this is like I will just say it being a teen again. I have to say also I do not dislike it. as bad as the cravings are right now I am happy about the strength of my body. I know after what Marnia said awhile back when I touched on this. yeah I do smile about it sometimes. I think I am just happy my body could recover from all the abuse I did to it over the years. Now with all that said I really need it to calm down. I mean the cravings and urges are way too high. I still have not been able to get to sleep. Oh well I will take the good with the bad I suppose.