Success, so far!
What are some of the experiences that I've gotten present to so far?
When faced with uncertainty or difficulty - e.g. at work - I feel tempted to masturbate... Not sure why, but something is at play in the human mind/body complex + my past experiences/conditioning, that tells me - don't be with the "negative" emotion, e.g. "resist" it. When I resist "negative" emotions (this includes, thoughts + body sensations), instead of just letting them be, this is where I would get triggered into masturbating. I work in the IT industry (create software), so problems are galore, e.g. they never stop coming...
Disagreements as well as fatigue also seem to also trigger me into reacting like an automaton ...
The other "problem" - I wake up with an erection... and just about every woman I see causes me to daydream immediately about sex....
Let's hope this will pass soon (or not :) )
My end result of this 'sex fast' - is to be able to have sex (or even masturbate) coming from the point of view - "I want it" - rather than - "I need it". So far, it's been a "need" - and I don't think one would necessarily "die" without having sex as one certainly would from abstaining from food for too long.
How I am with alcohol, is the same way I want to be w/orgasms - on a choice basis, rather than on an addiction basis. When I am done with these 90 days, I will have gained a new context on sex and orgasms.
Who, after all, does not want to control all the things that we can control in our life, meaning, what we do as well as what we say, no? :)
Thanks for the responses!