What do you do to rechannel sexual energy when you don't have a partner, or your partner and you are not making love?
Psychological interpretations of the old stories say the hero must first improve him/her self before bringing the gift to the world. And the gift turns out to be the shining self. Various traditions offer "solo sexual cultivation practices." Here are some that site members have recommended:
The 6th Tibetan Rite
Exercise Proper: Stand
1) Tensing Phase:
a) Stand straight up and slowly let all of the air out of your lungs. As you do this, bend over and put your hands on your knees. Force out the last trace of air, and then, with the lungs empty, return to a straight up posture.
b) Place your hands on your hips, and press down on them. This will push your shoulders up. As you do this, pull in the abdomen as much as possible, and at the same time raise the chest.
Said another way, tense all of your muscles, scrunch up your shoulders, clench your fists and place them on your hips. Claw your feet into the ground. Try to stay like this for a slow count of ten.
c) Hold this position as long as you possibly can if you can't make it to the end. When you are finally forced to take air into your empty lungs, let the air flow in through the nose.
2) Relaxation Phase:
a) When the lungs are full, exhale through the mouth. As you exhale, relax your arms, letting them hang naturally at your sides.
b) Then take several deep breaths through the mouth or nose, allowing them to escape through either the mouth or nose. The object is to completely relax between each of the Tensing Phases.
3) Repeat the rite if needed, but once is usually all you need.
The purpose of this Rite is to relieve a person of being horny. The reason for being horny (this is Mantak Chia's point of view which I have adopted) is that energy has accumulated in the sex organs. Then the more aroused a person gets, the more energy collects there. The energy is released at orgasm---unless you can draw it out of the sex organs in some way. The 6th Rite does this automatically without having to know how to move energy. It's a mechanical approach.
These instructions for the breathing practice known as "Fire Breath" were excerpted from Don Juan and the Art of Sexual Energy by Merilyn Tunneshende.
1. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart, legs relaxed yet rooted, knees slightly bent. Hang your arms at your sides, loose and limp, fingers slightly curled. Be sure your spine is straight and your neck and shoulders are relaxed, maintaining good posture. Gaze softly into the distance.
2. Now breathe in through the nostrils, pulling up on the muscles of the perineum and contracting the abdomen on the inhale. The energy should rise in the form of heat, to the area of contraction, which in this case is the umbilical area. Continue to breathe in this way until you feel the heat.
3. Next, attempt to pull the warm energy up your spine and into the area of your your back heart. This is done by straightening the small of the back on the inhale, which is still accompanied by an abdominal contraction, with a softer perineal pull. As the energy rises to the back of your solar plexus, it will be come even warmer. Now, with additional inhales, accompanied by abdominal contractions, open the back shoulder blades by flexing them, curving your shoulders slightly inward. This will raise the energy into the back heart area and you will feel heat expanding into your arms and hands, which may throb or perspire. You may also feel flushed. This is normal.
4. Straighten the curve at the back of the neck on the next inhale. An abdominal contraction is required, but the perineal pull is no longer necessary. Try to inhale with the back of your throat and ears – your gills, if you will – for you are now breathing more energy than air.
5. One snort through the back sinuses, accompanied by an abdominal contraction, will send the breath into your inner eye, which will heat up, thereby expanding. This 'eye' is located about one inch back into the forehead, directly centered above the nose between the brows, perhaps three-quarters of an inch above them. The eye may throb and open if you are ready. This is essential for Seeing certain kinds of energy during a healing. Tip your head slightly forward and allow the heat to become moist as it moves toward the front, the liquid side of your body. You may feel an actual drip, as if warm oil or honey is oozing one drop at a time through your forehead.
6. Now straighten your head and the drip will accumulate on your soft palate. Swallow this life-giving elixir and it will spread into your throat, opening this center and melting downward.
7. The inhale for the front of the body is now a soft inhale accompanied by a deep abdominal expansion. This allows the energy to fill the front, as though you were pouring it into a wine skin.
8. Inhale the warm liquid energy into the heart area by expanding the upper lungs. This will stimulate soft, gentle feelings of love. As the energy melts down further, it will hit the solar plexus and spin to the sides. Massage the warm current into your internal organs, the spleen to the left and the liver, pancreas and gall bladder to the right. Remember to continue expanding your abdomen on the inhale.
9. From there, the energy proceeds downward diagonally from each side to collect in your reproductive area. An in-breath with an abdominal expansion will fill the bottom of your energetic lake.
10. Finally, a gentle abdominal contraction on the exhale will return the energy to be stored in the center of will, behind the navel.
Palm-genital energy flow
Own-body sexual yoga
The Complete Yoga advises the student to begin with solo practice aimed at learning both how to prolong sexual arousal, how to breathe, and how to conduct the life-current in the body-mind in a kind of circle that moves down the front of the body and then upward along the spine toward the crown of the head.
Sexual polarity is only “skin deep” - serving the purpose of physical reproduction. At deeper states of mind and body, polarity is transcended. By experiencing this sense of wholeness while celibate, a person can stop thinking of intimacy as a cure for “incompleteness.” At that point, a person is less likely to try to “get” something from a lover.
The “own-body yogic sexual practice” calls for the student to self-stimulate the genitals as a conscious exercise or devotional exercise. Orgasm is generally avoided, and the aroused sexual energy breathed down the front of the body and exhaled up the spine in a relaxed manner. The celibate practitioner should engage in this exercise both as a training for sex with a partner, and whenever there is a feeling of concentrated or suppressed sexual energy in the sexual organs, head or heart.
"Letting go" meditation
Alice Bunker Stockham MD, suggested this daily meditation for releasing excess sexual energy. Sit for 15-20 minutes in a straight-backed chair.
Drop the hands and arms to the side; rest the feet squarely on the floor; drop the chin forward on the breast, and give up all control of the body. Let go; knees, feet, toes, arms, hands and finger-tips must become relaxed; eyelids, mouth, indeed every part of the body must let go; throat jaws and stomach may be last to yield, but repeat to yourself "I give up. I give up." Breathe quietly and slowly. Remain in this state of repose 15-20 minutes.
When a perfect state of relaxation is secured, you quietly will the inner consciousness to use your sexual energy for renewal. You will arise, buoyant, vigorous and rejuvenated. You have become master of your own life through an alchemic process, a transmutation of creative energy. All local exitation and demand vanish. ("The Lover's World" by A.B. Stockham MD, pp. 105-106)
Transmuting Sexual Energy
Excerpts from Talk on "Transmuting Sexual Energy" by Swami Satyananda Saraswati
Conservation of Seminal Energy
Technique: When the sex-centre is stimulated, ejaculation of semen takes place. This method checks it effectively. If there is a thought of sexual desire in the mind, be alert. Concentrate your mind on genitals and contract the genitals inwards towards the belly, just as piston is pulled outwards to fill the pump with water. This is called Yoni Mudra. Then shut your eyes. Meditate, "Now I am looking upwards from lower sex-organs to the thousand petalled lotuses (Sahasrara Chakra) in brain within my body." The seminal energy flows to whatever point (organ) the mind is focused on. If you focus the mind on Sahasrara Chakra, the bioelectric energy, which would have otherwise, been wasted in ejaculation through the activated Muladhara Chakra, will be sublimated upwards to the Sahasrara Chakra and will be transmuted into Ojas. But mind well. If your mind is still covetous of sex-pleasure, you will not succeed in preserving seminal energy. But if you practice for a few days with discrimination and strong will, you will get abundantly its rewards. You will directly experience that even though sexual desires come with a force of storm, with this technique applied, they subside within a few seconds.
Another technique: Whenever any strong sexual desire arises, exhale all the air from lungs completely and retain the breath out. Then contract your belly and take your navel back towards the spinal cord. By repeating this two-three times, the passion is pacified and you will be saved from seminal discharge. This technique is very simple but it is a very important Yogic maneuver. Air in the lungs is called Apaana Vayu. With the strengthening of Apaana Vayu the sexual organ awakens and the mind becomes troubled. By forceful expiration of air, Apaana Vayu is weakened. So it cannot activate the sex-centre. Moreover, by contracting the belly and navel backwards, the remaining energy in the sex-centre goes towards the navel. So there is no more energy left to activate sex-centre and thus ejaculation is prevented. This technique could be practiced in any place, without spending any money. This technique should be practiced regularly even when there is no sexual stimulation. It gives excellent benefits.
Male Multiple Orgasm
This book by Mantak Chia has numerous exercises for rechanneling sexual energy throughout the body. It helps to practice his exercises in a non-orgasmic, non-ejaculatory manner. Keys: Moderation, Relaxation, and Spirit of Gratitude.
Herbal aid to celibacy
One can make this Ayurvedic Churna, without much cost at home. Take dried Amalas (goose berries) the fruits of a tree Emblica Officinalis and grind them into powder. Ready-made Amala powder is available in the market also. Mix two parts of the Amala powder with one part of powdered rocksugar. You may get this ready-made mixture from ashram also. Take one spoonful of the powder with water half an hour before going to bed. This powder thickens the semen. It also relieves constipation. It restores the balance of Vata (Wind), Pitta (Bile) and Kafa (Phlegm). It is also beneficial to those who get wet dreams. Even healthy people can take it as it helps in self-control.
The T5T routine
as developed by Carolinda Witt.
T4ytime's Sex Transmutation
During these wonderful times, since I'm single, how can I find my own karezza? How can I move that sexual energy so it doesn't get stagnated and make me unduly aggressive? Exercise and meditation are all fine and good, but I really believe we have to engage our body sexually as well. How to turn the trick? I think I have experimented enough to find a viable solution, at least for me. I still will do some mild arousal and it works well, I feel pleasured without the terrible setback of ejaculation. I lay down and close my eyes. I do mild clenching of the PC muscle, draw my navel into my spine and breathe deep. I also massage my scrotum and do mild nipple pressing (just my thing, some may not be into it) and that gets me fairly aroused. My penis will get hard from this and I will hold my breath and exhale finally. I can perform this for a while but not overdoing it, (say, no more than 20 minutes) jump out of bed and start my morning! Yes, jumping out of bed right after this is the tricky part. I am moderately aware now of "the red zone". The meter gets revved up but if the red is 80-100, I'm maybe at 60-70 tops. During all of these mild arousal sessions, I do not directly touch or stimulate my penis. I let it get hard naturally. Now, excessive nipple play can make one come as well, so I have to go to just when I can feel what may be some tingling in my legs, that's when I quit. Yes, a little pre-cum comes out but that has no effect on me. This may not work for everyone, but it seems to have served me well.
Perhaps oxytocin is being released instead of the dopamine spike? Could that be what makes me feel so giddy and refreshed?
Warning: Please do not try this if you have not at least had some abstinence time and are just coming off porn or masturbation. This takes some serious discipline and it took me a long process to find this method. What works for me, may not work for everyone. Give it a try if you are game though and let me know how it works!
PS I wanted to clarify that it is mild arousal I am talking about. Nothing too crazy. Soft non-porn images are okay for me, but they probably should not be used everyday. I would even correct what I said about taking it to 70 on a scale of 1-100 with 80 and up being the red zone. Probably you want to go to more like 50 or 60. No more. I find that just a bit more manageable. I am just going on instinct on when to stop. Usually, more than 15 minutes is too much. Then, of course, you need work or a project or something to keep busy. It works well but requires constant discipline and awareness.
Here's another interesting thread about solo practices: http://www.reuniting.info/node/3729.