Submitted by maximusrex on
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Some info about me: I'm 26 years old. When I was in junior high school, a time before high speed internet was ubiquitous, I did really well in school. I was obsessed with getting high grades. I had a pretty good attention span, and I'd read a book for hours. I also masturbated weekly starting in 6th grade, and I wish I had tracked just how often I had done so bc maybe it would've helped me to realize sooner that it might've been causing problems.

Sometime during high school, my family got a computer for the house and I spent a lot more time looking at porn and masturbating. I think it became a daily habit in high school. At some point, I realized that my attention span got shorter and shorter (I didn't even connect it with my daily masturbating); I couldn't even concentrate on reading, and I LOVED to read. I got pretty frustrated. Part of it definitely had to do with the internet because there were times that I'd try to stay away from the Internet, and I'd regain my attention span. I'd also try to go to the gym more often, running on the treadmill. Maybe it was a lack of neurotransmitters? It helped somewhat, but actually, I think it made it worse. Running too often made me feel depressed and apathetic. My grades started to dip at that point, especially in classes that involved HEAVY reading, like history.

I think the combination of masturbating to orgasm + running often at the gym really screwed with my moods. No better word than apathy can describe how I was feeling at the time. I hadn't even discovered coffee, yet. So I kept experimenting. Maybe I was deficient in a vitamin or mineral. Maybe it was herbs. Maybe I needed to run more. Fish oils. Cut out dairy. Nothing really helped. I graduated high school with decent grades, I pretty much got by, but I REALLY felt like something had changed in me mentally in terms of my ability to study and read for longer periods - I couldn't do it! I wanted to study, yet my brain wasn't working with me. I get to college, and the same patterns persisted. The running at the gym, the porn and orgasms. I felt dumb in a lot of my classes. I started feeling pretty dumb and I got C's in a few classes (the core classes). It was awful.

Coffee/caffeine helped a lot, but when it wore off, I still felt 'shitty.' I think I stumbled upon an article that talked about sexual abstinence and moods, and I scoffed at the thought of it. HAAA! Abstinence. I also experimented with staying off the Internet, which, again, helped immensely, but in today's society, who can truly avoid it? One day, a friend of mine gave me adderall, which definitely did increase my attention span, but it was temporary. On adderall, I felt way too wired, and I also felt that it was something that could develop into a dependency, and I'd already seen Requiem for a Dream so Adderall was out of the picture. I wanted a more natural solution, one that didn't involve drugs.

Then, I started seeing more articles online, especially here about people avoiding orgasms altogether because it was making them feel depressed and moody. I saw a NY Times article about a doctor who was finding a lot of his patients were suffering from 'post coital blues' and he prescribed them antidepressants. What a shame to have to resort to a chemical solution! So I knew, then, that I wasn't alone in this depressed, unmotivated feeling after ejaculating, orgasm, sex. I also saw a forum in which people were experiencing depression and moodiness after vigorous exercise, so I decided to cut out the running and VOILA! my moods stabilized. However, I still didn't feel 'balanced.' What really turned things around for me was reading Napoleon Hill's ideas about sex transmutation. Couple that with the many stories on this site about cutting back on orgasm for days, weeks and months at a time and this concept of an orgasmic hangover, and I was inspired and ready to take this no orgasm journey pretty seriously.

I did it for two weeks at a time at first, and I was pretty horny by the end of the first week. I felt like there were these spasms in my perineal area reminding me to 'discharge.' One time, I sweating bullets in class because I was extremely horny! The perineal spasms were happening lol. I masturbated, but NOT to orgasm and NOT to ejaculation. During this time, my motivation increased to incredible levels, especially by the second week. I was pretty horny, but also pretty motivated. I've been working on a second degree since starting this 'no ejaculation' journey and I've been more motivated and been getting higher grades than I've EVER had in years! I haven't felt this great in years. I feel confident in everything I do. It's sort of making me feel arrogant as well. Nothing wrong with that, though. As long as I'm not delusional!

I also experimented with going to the gym and running again. I don't feel as depressed after running! The depressed feeling lasts maybe a half hour, but not for days like it did before. In fact, I'm going to the gym way more often, more motivated to be consistent with the workouts. I can't even describe the many things that edging, not ejaculating & not orgasming has done for me. I still watch porn, though, while I edge. Maybe I'll quit it sometime in the future, but for now, I'm doing pretty well. 41 days and counting. I hope I don't make that mistake of stimulating too much and orgasming since it's happened before and I've had to start all over. I wish I'd known about this sooner, but I don't think I would've been ready to do it.

Turning 25, you can feel that change in your brain (so subtle you might not realize it), that feeling of being less reliant on the amygdala (emotional decision making) and more on the frontal lobes. I definitely felt that way. I feel like I wasted a lot of time all those years, being in constant orgasmic hangover mode. The fact that our society promulgates conventional orgasms and sex as being healthy, well maybe the opposite is just as true for some people! Maybe if people experimented with avoiding orgasms and ejaculating, they'd experience homeostatic bliss? I'm really glad this forum exists. I'm definitely identifying with people's experiences on here, and am motivated more than ever to continue.

Welcome to the site

Thanks for sharing your experience.
Sharing and writing on here is very helpful.

I can Identify with a good bit of it. The part that hits me the most is about reading. I started to keep track of books I read on a card and used it as a book mark. When I would finish a book I would add it to the list. I had 3 cards taped together and was reading 3 to 5 books a week when I got internet access for the first time. I still have the card and It is dated around 1995. Before that date I had read many books.

Using that card I can see that my reading slowed down. I know that my masturbation habits started to go up at that time. I had always masturbated a lot. I had used porn as much as I could with mags and vids that I could get. The porn was not ever day though. After the internet it was. I had a very very slow connection so only a few pics a day but it was enough to increase my masturbation habit.

I can see on the card in 97 I got a faster connection. I see the number of books decrease again. More porn more masturbation which meant more orgasms. By 98 I was down to a just a couple of books. Between 98 and 2000 I added 2 books to my list. From 2000 to 2001 I added 1. I did not keep track of the year again till last year. I only added 4 Books to the list between 2001 and 2009 though.

Now I am slowly getting back into reading. The more I stay away from masturbation and porn and orgasm the more I read and want to read. I could tell after my last relapse that I was having trouble reading. I was reading well during the weeks before that relapse. After a week of orgasms I was just not reading. Even in to this week I was having trouble reading. I was getting frustrated trying to read. I am slowly coming out of that now.

So I fully understand how masturbation and orgasm and porn can effect ones reading habits. I am not sure why or how but it does. The more I masturbated to orgasm the less I read. The more I masturbated to orgasm using extreme images and fantasies I read less and less.

I wonder if anyone else on the forum has experienced this problem with reading habits. Has anyone started reading a lot more after a long abstinence ?

Wishing you well
Be Safe
James

Have you guys noticed the

Have you guys noticed the effect of looking too long at computer screen on your liver? It makes my eyes feel strained, and my liver feels frustrated (stagnant energy). I did a bit of research in Traditional Chinese Medicine and they claim this is called "Liver Stagnation" due to too much stress to the eyes and not moving(exercising) enough. It gets noticably worse if I use the internet till about 1am, the next day I would wake up depressed and fatigued as hell. That's usually the time I felt so helplessly depressed and frustrated that I would masturbate to relieve the stagnation, and to get that high feeling.

Once, I tried 1 week without looking at the computer at night. i just spent my nights reading. In the morning, my energy flowed so well and I felt so good. Within 1 week, I was so filled with chi that my whole body vibrated with a happy good blissful feeling and confidence. My voice got really deep and charismatic. Noticed people enjoying conversations and communicating with me.

Nowadays I still use the computer at night (due to work), and as I do semen retention, I get really depressed. After a few days it feels like the energy is not moving at all, stagnated. I found that the best thing to do at this time is to SLEEP for longer hours for the body's energy to start balancing and moving again. If I chose mastrubation with ejaculation instead, it does relieve the stagnation, but leaves you really low energy the next 3 -5 days. If I do masturbation with semen retention, done correctly it can make you feel better and more positive/happy. But have to beware as while mtb you may feel like the urge to ejaculate it all out to stop the frustration of the past few days. I find pressing the perineum sorts of plugs the semen well. Once I press the perineum correctly a few times, the urge to ejaculate disappears.

SOmetimes I would go for 1 month like that, and feel really good.

Interesting about the

Interesting about the computer. I may try that. I know I have looked at a computer screen for way too much of my life. It started with games and then porn and then both and I worked on computers in a shop for 8 years. So I was basically on computers and looking a screens for over 20 hours in day sometimes. 8 hours at work and at least 12 hours between games and porn. I did that for years. I have stared at computer screens since the mid 80s.

I know eye strain. I can not look at a screen with a refresh rate below about 85 now. lower than that and I can see the screen refresh and my eye strain goes way up. I really need it set to 100+. I agree though that looking at a computer screen for so much time is not good.
It got so bad when I was working at the shop me an one of the other techs had to request different color bulbs for the lighting. We had to move to a more natural light. Those dull burnt out yellow lights were really messing with us. We had to start taking breaks to go outside in natural light to relieve the eye strain and headaches.

I used to joke while I was working at the shop that I did not need to eat I lived of the radiation and Electromagnetic fields given off by the monitors :).

So even with all of that I still spend hours looking at a compter screen. I think LCD of my laptop does not cause as much strain but it is enough. At least I have different job now do not have to use computers very much. I still some times. I have to help with tech stuff and a few other things but not my main focus. My computer use is way down now. At leat that is something.

I may try going without using the comp after a certain hour see how it goes. I can always use my phone to get updates on here :).

On the other thing you describe I can not do that. I have tried a few things. The only thing that works for me is no masturbation. Maybe at some future date that will not be the case. I would really like to get to the point of not masturbating at all. I think I can get there and do it in a healthy way. I am not sure I can while being single but I will at least try. I feel better and I know I am more motivated and do many things I would not normally do while I am abstaining from m/o/p. I know it benefits me at least for now.

I am glad that technique works for you. I made a post earlier that different things work for each person. So find what works for yourself. You can also try other ideas that people share here. There are many ways to deal with all of this. Some work some do not and some work for some people while not working for others.

Be Safe
James

Welcome new guys!

Thanks for sharing your experiences and clues.

Guess we hunter-gatherer brained folk just aren't cut out for today's habits. Glad you're learning to pick your way around the obstacles despite the mainstream views.