To start. I had to do something this morning. I figured today would be a good day for some type of experiment. If I did not try to disperse/use/or whatever my sexual tension/energy I was going to masturbate. It was just that strong of a feeling this morning. I had nothing to lose if the experiment went "wrong". I suppose though that experiment really can not go wrong.
My feelings woke me up an hour early so I had time to read through the solo practices. I got an idea of what I wanted to try from each. One thing about my feelings over the last few days was that I wanted to just hold myself. I thought this was just my addicted mind trying to get its way. Now I am not too sure. That thought has been coming to me a lot. Who knows it could just be my addicted mind I still used it in the experiment though.
I combined a few things and just put my thoughts to it. I was just going with what I felt was right after reading through all of the solo stuff. I did not have a complete plan other than to start with 6th Rite. Here is what I tried this morning and the results.
Some minor explicit content
I started off nude(I know but well if things got out of control did not want to worry :) )
I started with the 6th Tibetan Rite. I did this 5 times. I know it says once is usually enough well I either am not good enough at it or just need more practice or my sexual "energy" was way too high. The best I was able to go was a count of 5 not sure if that was it or not. I do know that at the end the breathe comes back in with much force. That tensing and hold the abs in and the chest up when you do take a breathe it comes in fast. Well this relaxed me a bit.
Well the next thing I did cause I was still feeling it a good bit was to sit crossed leg on the floor. My mind really like the idea of Own-body sexual yoga. The thought of stimulating myself was very strong :). We will say I met that desire half way. This is where holding myself comes in. I knew this would be the dangerous part. This is where I could slip and just masturbate my brains out as it were. I think having done the 6th rite helped here. Also I had been getting these thoughts that I should try holding myself without masturbating. Again I had nothing to lose cause I was in a bad state after waking. So. I was sitting crossed leg and hold myself no other stimulation no moving or anything. I had my eyes closed so makes it easier to visualize. I did my interpretation of Breathing in. I would breathe in through the nose.
I would visualize my breathe starting at my head and moving down to my genitals. I did not start with visualizing from the top of my head till part way through. I think I will do it that way next time form the start. I would breathe in deeply all the way down till I focused on my genitals and hold the "breathe" there. Then I would exhale through the mouth while visualizing the "breathe" going up my spine to my head then out. I did this circle breathing while holding myself for a good amount of time. I am not sure how long. I know it was over 5 minutes but I lost track of time really. it could have been over 10 not sure. I did not check the time before starting. I know that part of the way through it started to "feel" very good. The pleasure built and I kept breathing. Interesting thing is that I started to get soft during this. I had started out fully erect and needing to release. After I was part of the way through this breathing exercise I kind of forgot about masturbating. Really I did. I did not think about this part of it till after the whole process and looking back. The need and desire to masturbate just kind of went away. The end of this part was like this. I realized I was almost completely soft. I opened my eyes and stopped visualizing the breathe flowing in a circle through my body. I realized my hand was covered with pre-cum. I did not let this bother me. I felt really good. My body did seemed charged. I was full of I guess the only way to say it is energy. I was not in need of masturbating though. I then went to the next step.
While still sitting crossed leg on the floor. I then just let my body relax. I dropped my chin to my chest and closed my eyes. I let every muscle I could just relax. I just let my mind relax. I again kind of lost time. I assume I was like this for at least 5 minutes. Again It felt blissful. I am not sure what brought me out of it. I could have sat there for hours I think. I guess I was there long enough though.
Just setting there relaxed after all of that was about the best part. The sexual tension was gone and I felt good.
Well there is my experiment. It all seemed to work for me. I think I will try this each morning for awhile and see what the results are.
I will just wake 30 minutes early and start this practice. Maybe I will add some light masturbation but if I do not feel I need to I will not. It would be at least a few weeks before I would try that though. I want this to be successful for me.
I will say that not all the sexual "energy" is gone. It feels more like "controlled". I do not have that pounding desire to masturbate right now. Thoughts on that. It could be just the dopamine surge I had during all of this. I am sure there is a huge dopamine surge. I felt good really good while doing this. The big thing is that I felt that surge at the end during relaxing(there was surge during the holding too :) ) and no longer holding myself. It felt good to just relax. So maybe in the end this will still be very good. You get a dopamine surge but you build a pathway that is sexual but not orgasm as the goal. It is relax as the goal. You get to train your dopamine surge to get really sexually charged and then enjoy relaxing in that feeling. I hope it works this way.
So I was dragged kicking and screaming as usual into something new. Like I said sometimes I need a clueby4 upside the head to get my attention. I am not sure this will work as I described and want it too. I will however give a chance. I have to do something cause other wise I will just stay stuck in a masturbation addiction cycle.
Wishing everyone well