Sex drive and escalation

Submitted by SportsGuy2259 on
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One thing i have always asked myself is what really is a normal sex drive? Honestly i have been on P and MB for many years so i don't think i really know. When i'm using porn and MB its difficult to get aroused by even everyday normal women, when i am not however it seems alot easier. This is of course a good thing, however i still wonder where the balance between being totally not turned on by sex, and being full of raging hormones. Im not sure theirs an answer to this, i guess everyone is different, but i'm just curious as to what others think

Another thing. On escalation. idk if anyone else noticed this. However when i was agressively watching Porn and MB. I would MB early in the day once, and then later in the day i wouldn't even be "horny", however my brain was almost calling for me to MB. Since my brain wanted to MB i looked for the more intense images to help compenasate that obession. Thats what lead me to MB 3-4 times a day, and to more intense stuff as time went on. I read somewhere that it takes a certain amount of time for your sex drive to fully recharge back to itself after an orgasm, however by MB so much i believe i was depleting myself for days, i just never realized this. this is why i think (coupled with the P) i actually had trouble getting aroused with a real partner, and what also led to the escalation.

Im curious as to what others think.

Update, i am at 2 weeks of no p and mb. I feel good , and my goal is to go at least 2 months without the MB, and forever without the P. If iever do go back to MB, itll just be maybe once a week, but hopefully i'll find a girlfriend by then.

The Daoists

had orgasm schedules based on age and time of year (fewer as you age, and more in the spring, none in the winter), but even they couldn't agree on a schedule. That's why I say you have to find the best interval for you.

Also, have you ever tried any of the solo practices on the "Wiki" page? They can be good for reducing horniness.

I like the sound of finding a girlfriend. Smile

So......

Once i do find a girlfriend do you think if i had one or two orgasms a week it wouldn't have any effect on my sex drive toward real women. Since orgasm can help reinforce stimuli like porn, why can't it maybe reinforce my desire for my partner sexually. I'm not saying i'd overdo it, but im just curious as to see how my body would react to something like that. As opposed to the 15 times a week i used to MB and watch porn. I know alot on this site advocatee kareeza, and i'd have no problem with that, but sometimes things just happen.

Honestly after two weeks i do notice a big change, but i figure thats just my natural sex drive building back up. I can look at a women and get that good feeling of arousal (not that i spend all day lusting), just observations. Its definetely positive, but i've gotten here before and always started MB again, which eventually led me back to porn. My goal is still at least 6-8 more weeks of no MB. If i ever went back it would be like once a week or so. but again hopefully i'll have a girl by then.

Once You Find Balance . . .

If you look at mb as compulsive behavior then it has its own logic. It creates its own schedule of need, just like the guy who always has a cigarette after dinner. The timing has nothing to do with the cigarette or the addiction. It's just the habit of the compulsive behavior setting its own agenda.

If you get rid of the compulsion behind mb, I think you'll find a calmer place where sex becomes fun and can be an occasional treat more than a need. But, as Marnia says, we're all different. You just have to find your own balance.

P.

Yes,

things just happen. Smile You'll make your own experiments. And just being aware of the cycle puts you WAY ahead of where I was at your age. Don't be afraid to experiment.

Question, have you tried skipping the porn when you *do* put masturbation back into your schedule? That might be the key to avoiding escalation. I know it's tough to settle for a bit less intensity in the orgasm, but the benefit is that you're less "itchy" over the days following, too, perhaps.

yes....

I actually have tried what you mentioned marnia. The whole skipping the porn thing when MB and only using imagination, and it did seem to work. However after some of those times for some reason it led me back to compulsive MB again, but for various reasons i now understand. If i ever did go back it would only be maybe one time per week. I want to save all my sexual energy for when i find a partner. So on i go, i want to get through an intial detox period and then make choices from their.