If you have stop watching pornography?

Submitted by stillneedanswers on
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What will you do about the memories? Couldnt you use thee memories to masturbate or how do you deal with them? Do they fade away?

Flashbacks

are a big challenge. They're very common. Try to stop orgasming to them. That weakens the wiring in your brain between them and sexual arousal. (That's a good idea if you want to start finding normal partners and normal sex more pleasurable.)

Cutting way back on masturbation is helpful. But if you do masturbate, try to focus on the feelings and not on fantasies based on porn.

Good luck! Start a blog if you like.

The memories are hard to

The memories are hard to deal with. They do start to fade though. Not completely but they lose there hold over time. It is over 4 months since I last viewed porn. The images are still there but they are very weak. They do not have the hold on me they once did. The practice of just making a red X flash in you head when they try to appear really worked for me. I even added an annoying buzzing sound to that image of an X so that In my head every time an image would try to appear I would she the X and hear the buzz in my head instead.

Cutting back on masturbation really does help. If you do masturbate do not use a fantasy or think of an image. I would focus on the feelings in my body and focus on an object. Do not close your eyes. If you do that images and fantasies will happen. Try to completely focus on the feelings and an object. Again masturbating as little as possible will weaken those images and thoughts a lot.

I am not sure if they will fade away completely I do know they get weaker by a lot.

Hope this is helpful
Wishing you well
Be Safe
James

Hey!

Well,
Maybe I will repeat what the others said but, personnally, I used to have really frequent shemale porn flashbacks wich made me terribly anxious. What I can tell you is that the more you stay away from the porn, the less they have a grip on you. They do not only start to fade away, they just don't arrouse you anymore. And the more you stay away from porn, the less anxious you gonna be about these thoughts.
Personnally, I try to replace them by real life thoughts. I mean, I try to imagine a beautiful woman myself. Wich is a good exercice for our brain in fact, because we were doing this when we started masterbating, at the very begining. Without any porn. If you are arroused by old flashbacks, do not panick, just try to imagine a big red X on the flashback. It usually helps

Even if the thoughts about beautiful women doesn't arrouse me as much as it did, or sometimes not at all, it is still pleasant and anxiety relieving. But don't do this to check if you get arroused by these thoughts. Let them arrise and enjoy the moment. If they arrouse you then, thats cool, if they don't well, they will later.

That's how I see things.

Have a nice day!

You Can Control The Images

If you close your eyes, you can see the image clearly, right? What you may not know is that you can manipulate that image in your mind. Just get in a relaxed space where you won't be disturbed. Close your eyes. Take two or three deep, slow, relaxing breaths to quiet your mind. Then call up the image. Be curious about it. Look at it as though you were seated in a movie theater watching someone else's film.

Now, push the image far away, then bring it back, then push it to the left and right. Move it around until you're comfortable manipulating it. It may take a few minutes for your mind to get used to this technique. Be patient with yourself. Have fun with it. You could put a clown nose on the person or draw on a mustache. Let the picture become really silly. The picture is only significant to you because you gave it significance. Now, you have decided that other things are more important in your life. You don't need this picture any more.

Next comes the really fun part.

Drain all the color out of the image. Make it black and white. Now make it very small. Now push it far, far away. Now throw that silly image off into outer space. The memory will still be there, but it's power over you won't.

What if it's a movie? The above works really well with images, but if it's a movie, there's something else you can do. Speed it up and run it backwards! Make it really silly. Add some circus music to it. Now kick it off the planet too!

The Psychology Behind This

The instructions above are based on the Fast Phobia Cure (for an explanation, see http://www.deep-trance.com/techniques/fast-phobia-cure.html ). We store images in a particular way in memory. The subconscious uses emotion to tag memories for later recall. The more intense the emotion, the closer to the surface the memory. When you remember the image, the body actually relives that moment. If you change the emotion associated with the image by laughing at it, you can change the memory. Once intense emotion is no longer associated with the image, it will no longer have the same intense effect. Note that hypnosis is usually used for curing phobias because of the fear involved. In this case you are just calling up a familiar image and laughing at it. It is helpful if your mind is quiet, but the focus of trance is not necessary.

The above is also based on the work of Richard Bandler, who observed that people "see" images in their head differently and the differences can give you clues about the emotional significance of the image. An intense image is big and dramatically colored. If it's not so intense, then the colors aren't either. The image is smaller and farther away. Thus draining the color out of an image and pushing it farther away tells the subconscious that the image is not important any more.

If the pull is that strong . . .

The full procedure is to take the person to a point just before the intense feelings (e.g. when you are booting up the computer), fast forward through the event (viewing porn and masturbating), then get to the end (when you realize that the behavior did not in the end help and just made you more frustrated), then rewind, then fast forward repeatedly until the power of the image has been weakened.

If that is still too strong, the person can imagine themselves at the side of a movie theater watching themselves watching the movie (i.e. the pornography). That way there is no direct connection with the image. When the person is comfortable enough with what's going on, they can move to the place of the person watching the film.

The principle is to dissociate the person from the image. Not only can it be done, but it is routinely done with all kinds of people with phobias or compulsive behavior.

P.

I agree completely

Many people are "visual", meaning that their dominant way of processing ideas is as images. Others are auditory (sounds) and still others are kinesthetic (feelings). I'm not visual either, however I was answering a question from someone bothered by images so that was the route I took.

But no, I don't think you are in any way "flawed" and C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S on your progress to date. Like they say in baseball, "Don't mess with a streak". Whatever you're doing, just keep on doing it, Seeker.

P.

Struggling

I have been recently caught up in it again. On the road on a business trip. Looked at porn, masturbated......4 days in a row.....binge......damn.

I then took a deep breath, went for a walk.....thought about all I have learned and experienced and came back to read some more.

I read this node and it clicked right away for me.

http://www.reuniting.info/resources/porn_masturbation_addiction/barry_lo...

Knowledge, practice, getting back on the horse, and progress.

Stay away from porn, stay away from porn, stay away from porn,
Crow

It must be

so hard when you're needing a bit of comfort and willing women are just a click away (or so it seems to your silly limbic brain)...to say "no," especially if you're not sleeping well or something.

But that escalation seems to be inevitable once that brain pathway is deeply etched.

Congratulations on catching yourself. *pats back*

How about this. Go ahead and

How about this. Go ahead and look up the porn. Just don't *attach* and expect any outcomes. If it turns you on and drives you crazy, great. Let it happen for as long as you need it. Let it flow. But if it doesn't turn you on don't force anything. Don't keep looking it up! Move on to something else. You're wanking to porn, not beating somebody over the head with a club for Christ's sake.

This place needs some perspective.

You know what Oscar Wilde said. The only way to resist a temptation is to yield to it. You gotta satisfy your hunger and what you view as a 'dark side' or you're actually part of the problem and not the solution.

Eating fatty and sugary foods too much is bad, but having them once in a while is living life! Live a little. You like porn. It's part of your expression. There's nothing wrong with that.

Do you know that you actually hurt your body by using too much anti-bacterial soap? Being chaste and holier-than-thou is a lot like that!

It's time you educated yourself

about addiction and the relevant brain science. Start here:

Your Brain on Porn
http://www.reuniting.info/node/3343

Would you offer a drink to a recovering alcoholic so s/he could "live a little" like Oscar Wilde (for whom things didn't work out too well, as I recall)?

You're right that balance, not perfection, is the ultimate goal, but posts like these potentially impede recovery, and if anyone here complains to me about these posts, I will summarily block you. This site, through a fluke of fate, has become a space for healing, not for sounding off based on too little understanding of the realities of recovery. Fair warning. Wink