Submitted by The Fonz on
Printer-friendly version

Hi everybody,

My forum name is Ralph (not my real name of course, but you can call me Ralph). Nice to meet everyone.

Today marks my seventh day of not masturbating and not viewing pornography. I'm feeling rather well. The first couple of days were really hard--I had to fight off cravings--but the more time went on, the easier it got. I'm not going to just assume that it's always going to be this easy--I've gone more than two weeks before, and the cravings have come back--so I'm going to try to "stay on my toes," as they say.

I've been tracking my mood as well, and the experiment seems to be improving my mood. I feel more relaxed and confident. I'm also finding talking to people easier. For instance, I recently went to a party and found myself chatting up everyone at it, and making people laugh. Oftentimes I'm just a wallflower at these types of things, or I avoid going to them altogether because of social anxiety.

Another finding of my experiment: the more time I go without masturbating and viewing porn, the more women I feel attracted to. I used to have a specific "type." I liked curvy girls. Think girls like Beyonce or Kim Kardashian. However, now I'm starting to feel attracted to skinny girls with, like a Paris Hilton-type build as well.

I also found that I was more flirtatious. Not in a creepy, desperate way. But more just flirtation for the sake of flirtation.

I also felt more energetic, creative, and funny.

Those are pretty much all the positive findings I can think of for now. I plan on going another week without masturbatingéviewing porn, tracking my mood, and then returning to this forum to report my findings. Then, if I make it through that week, I`m going to attempt for a third.

Talk to yall next week.

Cheers,
good luck in your endeavours,
Ralph

Thanks for

letting us know of your progress.

We've just been talking on this forum about how getting away from over-stimulation (porn) can shift your perception of women. My theory is that when over-stimulation desensitizes the brain (see http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201004/porn-an...) you tend to look around for more extreme sexual cues to become aroused. That means bigger bazongas, kinkier videos, whatever. Smile

The opposite appears to be true, too. As the brain relaxes back to its natural sensitivity and responsiveness, *every* female starts to look kinda cute.

I find the same with men. Wink You're all adorable...and all for different reasons. No one "type" is necessary, because you all have attractive features: voice, laugh, hair, wit, sexy baldness, beard, smile, muscles, brains, good smell...or whatever.

It's nice to feel that way toward men. Hope you're enjoying the change.

Welcome!

Grats Ralph. Inspiring

Grats Ralph. Inspiring post.

The shyness/social anxiety link is interesting. On the surface you might expect porn to only affect the way you interact with women sexually and romantically but I think it gave me a lot of generalized social anxiety as well. It's easier to deal with other men when you have some fire in the gonads, ha!

I think there were some good discussions about this in Redbeard's blog.

Ah and, hello again to everyone. I haven't posted in a while.

Thanks for the responses,

Thanks for the responses, Marnia and deventryHero.

I also am a fan of "fire in the gonads." Plus I'm happy that you used the word "bazongas," Marnia. LOL.

Your theory makes a lot of sense, Marnia. It inspires me to continue on my path of cutting back on masturbation and (I'm hoping) quitting pornography. This hightened attraction to more "types" is one of the most positive "side effects" I've observed. I don't want to go back to not noticing girls if they don't look like Kim Kardashian, haha.

But, although I feel inspired anew, I'm also facing some unexpected challenges. Today marks my eighth day without masturbation or porn-viewing (three weeks is the current goal). I'm proud of myself, but a little worried because I'm noticing some cravings and coming across some obstacles.

A little anecdote: today I was stuck watching the show "Britain's Next Top Model" with family. On the show, the girls did a steamy photoshoot where they had to makeout with each other and do all sorts of other kinky poses of pulling each others' hair and whatnot.

The photoshoot reminded me of some of the porn I was into when I was viewing it daily. I didn't want to watch the photoshoot because I knew it would set off some cravings, but I also didn't want to say, "sorry, guys, I can't finish watching this show because I think I'm a porn addict, and it's going to trigger cravings." My porn addiction isn't something I really feel comfortable talking to my family about. You know?

And so I watched it, and it was pretty tittilating stuff, and I was kinda tempted to go online afterwards and look up some similarly-themed porn. But I didn't. I withstood. And the cravings are less now. But I feel like they're still there, and they may come back stronger in the upcoming week.

Just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to deal with these unexpected triggers, with these unexpected pornographic images that pop culture media throws at us.

And I also just wanted to get it off my chest, since writing about it helps.

Cheers.
Thanks loads.

Hiya

THAT would be tough.

Maybe you could subtly look elsewhere in the room, or yawn and say you need a nap and close your eyes on the pretext of being tired. Or make jokes like, "WHEW! This is too hot for me. I don't want to be dreaming of these women all night. Pinch me when it's over!"

Believe it or not, I'm even careful of what I watch. I don't like violence or abusive sex. It "ruffles" my nervous system, too. And occasionally has even caused a dream orgasm.

It may be that one day humans will realize that the problem is too much sexual stimulation. Period. Maybe normal brains are sensitive. Maybe we should all be a lot more careful what we put into our brains visually. Maybe they were never intended for this level of violence, titillation, etc.

In other words, "normal" may just not be suited for this stuff. Annoying, but could be true.

I will say again that has

I will say again that has been one the biggest things to help me with staying away from porn. I avoid as much of this stuff as possible. I close my eyes when I have too. Still there is so much stuff. I think I will just have to keep to certain types of films and documentaries for awhile. Even some of the shows I like and I can close my eyes during the arousing scenes I need to avoid for the next little while.

This kind of thing is tough. As the saying goes Sex sells. So you see lots and lots of sex every where. There is even a lot of sex hidden. What mean by that is hidden messages and stuff are in a lot of ads. The way the ad is displayed. The way it is broken up. The words used. The way they are used. It is all a big game of selling sex to the mind. Not all ads and companies but many of them. It is just near impossible to avoid all this stuff.

I guess we just have to do what we can and learn to deal with the rest.

Be Safe
James

Thanks for the helpful

Thanks for the helpful suggestions, Marnia. I will keep them in mind for future reference.

I am happy to report that the cravings triggered by this TV show didn't cause me to relapse into viewing porn, nor did it cause me to have a dream orgasm. Which means that now I'm on day nine of not masturbating and not viewing porn.

I'm curious if there's any "hangover effect" as a result of the accidental arousal from those unexpected pornographic (some would argue "artistic") images that I encountered. I'm guessing it raised my dopamine levels, but since I didn't bring myself to orgasm, those dopamine levels didn't pique. If it has caused a "hangover," it's a very mild one because I actually feel great still.

I wanted to wait until reaching two weeks (this Sunday) to report my findings from tracking my mood...but while I'm here, I might as well point out that I've been feeling really calm lately. Like, I've been able to strike a fine balance between being really relaxed, but still being energetic. Don't know if it's the result of this experiment or not...I wouldn't doubt if it's at least partially influenced by it.

Oh, and Seeker, kudos for taking action against the hyper-sexual stimulation thrown at you by TV and ads and such. I'm a big music fan, and so I watch a lot of music videos on TV and online. Those are the worst for hyper-sexual stimulating images. As a matter of fact, I consider some of the music videos I watched as a child to have been a "gateway drug" (haha) into the porn I got into later. For instance, Human Nature by Madonna (don't check it out if you're avoiding triggers...it's pretty steamy). But I find that getting up and dancing helps me to avoid being too aroused by some of the videos. Because I can look away, still enjoy the music, plus I get some cardio in...two birds, one stone.

Peace.

Probably Yes

[quote=Ralph]I'm curious if there's any "hangover effect" as a result of the accidental arousal from those unexpected pornographic (some would argue "artistic") images that I encountered.[/quote]

Probably yes. But the good news is that any such effects are minimal if you turn your attention away quickly.