Back to start.

Submitted by light on
Printer-friendly version

I am celebrating 2 months without porn and 1 month without masturbation. My goal is never ever porn again ( and I wont) and no masturbation for 3 months! :)

Comments

tips: -frequent repetition

tips:

-frequent repetition on the bad effects of porn and the healthy ones of quitting
- minimal touching of my penis
- physical training in some form everyday
-Imagining how great it would be to achive my goal (2-3 months without) and how many good things in my life that will get from not being addicted to porn. (this mindsset I think is very important)
- looking it as a healing process I should give my body. starting to watch porn will feel like "hurting" my body
-reminding myself that I have great willpower since I have gone x days without porn..and feel proud of it.
- try to minimize stimuli that reminds me about "porn" like sexual advertisment, pics of half naked girls etc...

and of course: deleting porn, deleting links, internet history. make it hard to get the porn.

I notice now that almost everyhere on internet there is something which contain sex. "news about celebreties" youtube movies with sexual content, links and banners that has something with sex to do.
Its very hard to avoid all this and if you get tempted to click on a link, then its easy to get the stimuli to end up on a pornsite.
Recently it was a news about a pornstar in the online newspaper and a picture of her. when I just made a glimse on her I suddenly wanted to watch a porn movie with her in the role. So these things I must be careful of.

"Imagining how great it

"Imagining how great it would be to achive my goal (2-3 months without) and how many good things in my life that will get from not being addicted to porn. (this mindsset I think is very important)"

I Agree. Be pulled to what you want to be rather than trying to get away from what you were.

Not much you can do about the banners. I was reading an article last night and this banner kept coming up and my brain lit up like a christmas tree. If you are in a vulnerable spot like I am right now it can be hard to pull out of that. Fortunately, I was focusing on that nice point I quoted you above and kept reading the article about better social life, which I have come to experience as something incompatible with porn use.

Nice! 2 months without porn and 1 month w/o O is big. Yeah, porn is pretty worthless, wont miss that one bit.

Courage is knowing what not to fear.
-Plato

hard days these days.

hard days these days. Feeling very little motivation to do anything else than sleeping eating and do my exercises. Dont know the actual reason. Just feeling little motivation. Kind of feeling depressed. but not that strong

I have experienced a lot of

I have experienced a lot of depression while recovery too. Some good stuff, but a lot of depression for sure. Marnia's right, you might have to change up some things. You are probably coming across some cognitive blocks you havent been really exposed to during your addiction. Its a good time to explore some techniques or therapy now that you have porn out of your life.

Courage is knowing what not to fear.
-Plato

These days I have been

These days I have been trying to eliminate distractions so that I can start to feel what I really want and maybe change it. So that means I have watched less TV, less time on the computer etc, less time listening to music on ipod while travelling. So now I actually get more depressed. maybe because I have used less distractions. I have also noticed that my communication with other guys is not that good, and that other guys respect me less than I want. I just feel that I cant get a good connection with other guys. I actually feel to seriuos and maybe arrogant, and I cant really enjoy my time with other guys. Feels like I have to behave abit artificial. Hard to explain. But it also make me sad. Doesent feel good. I feel lonely.

Get outside my comfort sone: There are many things I should have done, that I know would have improved my life. But I am afraid and I dont dear to take action :(

I think I have to change my view on many things and change my mental response. I know I dont react rationally to may things, but Its so hard for me to change my thinking pattern.

Im experiencing some similar

Im experiencing some similar things too. Building character can be a slow process, but just taking the step to better life and get of distractions is a good first step, but its only half of it. Ive noticed that trying to get past these things with a lot of deprivation is a poor strategy. When you start living life and doing things that you enjoy and are healthy, you hardly miss the addiction and youre satisfied. I really thinking getting past the acting out is just the beginning of recovery, there is this character vortex we still have to deal with. Id say its better to be in depression than driving yourself crazy with the acting out, but depression can get pretty bad too. You might have to approach your depression pro actively by confronting it with as many tools as you can, stuff youve learned fighting your addiction and maybe some new tools like cognitive restructuring through therapy, meditation, exercise, life purpose. If you picked up some meaningful hobbies and threw yourself in it, you got lots of exercise and you really got into it, started doing meditation every day, socialize, and saw a therapist and researched some of your underlying depression on your own, youll be a different person in a few months. Actually, youll notice the benefits of exercise pretty quick.

Be proactive no matter what. Addiction is a disease of laziness

Hang in there.

Courage is knowing what not to fear.
-Plato

feeling better these days. I

feeling better these days. I have noticed that when i realize that I cant rely on my friends to be happy, I feel much better. It has also helped me do affirm to myself that "I dont care what other people thinks of me". In the past I have been way to obsessed about what other people think of me. Thats not healty for my mind. Also I have noticed that my urge to watch porn and mastubate is much higher when I feel sad.

training, training

training, training especially running makes my mood elevated. Also taking one day at a time and not worrying about the futere (even if I maybe should?) Living in the present. Enjoying the moments.

I noticed now that to much

I noticed now that to much drinking at party makes me more easily depressed. I will limit my intake of alkohole period!
I dont know why, But I think drinking too much triggers some feelings deep down there, and when they come to surface I dont feel good.
It has happened all the time when I have been drinking much. Problem is to controll it. I mean I feel good when starting to drink, but afterwards, after the party I feel bad. Its also hard to stop drinking when all my friends does it. Any advice on how to reduce drinking even when going out to party?
I cant imagine going party now without drinking. I imagine I will feel awkward and bored at parties when sober. any advice? because I cant stand the bad feeling afterwards, not because of the alkohole but because of the feelings it triggers.

For every beer you drink,

For every beer you drink, drink an equal amount of water. Steer from hard alcohol and dont drink out of anxiety or compulsion. Youre getting lots of practice steering from compulsions here, apply the same tools to that in the moment. I struggled with this too. It doesnt have to be black or white (drunk or sober), be moderate and youll have a lot more fun. Getting shitfaced is only fun when you dont know any better. Plus, less of a chance youll make an ass of yourself and more control you have over yourself for talking to girls. Girls dont want no bumbling fool, sharpen up and enjoy. Youve got something good going on with your abstinence, use it!

Courage is knowing what not to fear.
-Plato

In my experience,

when you're sober you end up connecting with others who are sober...and enjoying your evening a lot more...and remembering it better, too. Smile Who drinks the least of your friends? Perhaps sit next to that person.

thanks. I felt like crap

thanks. I felt like crap this morning. So I admit to myself that I have a problem stopping drinking once started. And I actually didnt have so much fun yesterday, and if it was, it was not because of alcohole.
I think one of the reasons why I drink so much is because when I have been drunk I have been social and got girls. It has never been happened sober when going out. Therefore maybe my brain rely on alchole to get social and talk to girls.
Thanks again for the advices. Its up to me to controll my drinking, just as I have been able to do with p/m.

One week ago I noticed

One week ago I noticed something. I have almost completely stopped thinking of porn. And also the feeling that it will be terrible to not orgasme in many weeks will be hard. Now I am comfortable with it. Best thing is that porn images is not popping up in my head anymore.

yes I have to say that the

yes I have to say that the change is big, but I didn't realize it before now. Before I would think much about porn and was tempted to search for it or was unable to rest well because of thinking of it. But now it feels my mind is more clear. I also think it can be wise not to think too much about it. ( I took a short break from visiting this site and just enjoyed my life :) ) Accept who you are and be happy about who you are just like you are. Helped for me. Setting short terms goals and extending them when I reach them has also helped. I have got more interested in real girls and I feel I have become better socially. And less anxiety. Now for the first time I can imagine a life (and a great life) without porn. Before it was hard to think about it.

Some questions: I am going

Some questions:

I am going towards 90 days now.
Is there some positive changes that will happen after 90 days 200 days 300 days etc? or changes in the brain?
The most dramatic changes occors after 14 days right? and maybe after 60 days?
I feel I want to release after 100 days. I cant imagine going several years without having an orgasm. I also dont want to feel bad because I choose to release after a certain time.
My plan after releasing is to go back to masturbation without porn. And with a reduced frequency.

Congatulations light

I feel so happy for you.

A word of caution though, when I did such long abstinence in the past, I would feel so great and think I am entitled to have some fun now. You know the feeling that you have "time to celebrate : so go and have a drink ". Then I would go and drink and this would create a possible alternate the mind is planing on. And the possibility of becoming an a/ addict.

So wondering if you could think of an activity that you always wanted to do from childhood like learning to play guitar or some such thing ? This could really help the second cycle the mind would go through: looking for another route to obtain dopamine. And then you would feel so awkward and the mind would tell you porn is lot more safer than alcohol and you are back in it again, it happened to me.

Please rest of the people tell me whether I am right ?

Love to all

5 months without porn now:)

5 months without porn now:) went back to masturbation but with lower frequency and much less fantasies.
I feel that my sexual energy or hornyness towards girls is lower now after quitting porn. I dont like this change, as it doesent motivates me to find a partner as ,uch as before
Anyone experienced the same?

Yeah, I'm single, and I must

Yeah, I'm single, and I must admit after I stopped watching porn and stopped having the desire to masturbate, my sexual drive toward the opposite sex is not there. Even if I see women with a well sized chest in a bikini at the beach, I don't get that same spell cast over me. The real desire I have is to deeper connections now, but as it is, it is hard to get to that point without first pursuing someone out of mutual attraction. Defiantly notice the difference in my behavior with balanced dopamine, for I do a lot less crazy antics now. I'm glad I cannot be turned mindless at the sight of breasts now, but the only things that seem to turn my mind to mush are the few attractive girls who have so much more to them than looks. It is a good position to be in, but might limit a chance with someone I would have got to know better.

Woo-hoo!

That's great. Sounds like you've found a balance.

What are you doing to *be* around girls? It might be that "normal" is to be pretty calm until a mating opportunity is actually on the horizon. Like James Bond. Wink

Also do you notice any difference in your level of enthusiasm relative to your frequency of masturbation (even without porn)? I'm also curious...would you say the fantasies you use are porn fantasies? That is, "extreme" in some respect?

to see girls: going out to

to see girls: going out to bars, clubs. Probably not the best place to find a healthy nice girl.
Less need for masturbation (its kinda boring compared to with porn)
No porn fantasies, more thinking about the girls face and kissing. So much less extreme.

Bungee Jumping?

I suspect Bungee jumping might produce a rainbow of addictive neurochemicals flooding to the brain.

Painting classes at the community college. The ones I have taken were about 50% older women, 49% younger women, and 1% men. Cooking classes. Community gardening. Volunteer at the local humane society. Get a part time job as a bartender or waiter in a wine bar. There's one I pass on the way home from work that always has tables full of women.

Find a passion to geek about - while I've not been interested in finding a new partner for many years, I met a lot of nice people when I was really into the 'home computing' thing *before* there was widespread internet usage. There's nothing more attractive to one geek of something than another geek of the same species. That's how I met my partner - through a shared passion for something other than hooking up. A shared passion makes things so much better - just look at the posts from Hotspring!

Quizure

Because life is not about who you were, it is about who you are becoming.

7 months without porn! Been

7 months without porn!
Been masturbating some times, but didnt feel that much pleasure from it. So now I have not been masturbating for 3 weeks or something. (dont count) and I dont feel any special urge to do it.
Many things has changed on my mindset on girl. Improvements thats make me feel much better and much less frustration. I can tell more about it later.

I will try to make it

I will try to make it short.
I was very into the seduction community when it came to girls. I believed that learning some triks and some manipulation was the right way. But it wasnt "me" and it srewed my mind up quite abit. I got anxious around women and very self concious. I didnt accept myself as the one I am. This anxiety and self concious feeling followed me also into the rest of my life. I was never happy and always trying to read just one more article about seducing girls, or watch a DVD about seduction hoping that it would miracoulsly solve my "problem" with girls. I think it also changed my wiev on girls, that their where evil, slutty, wanted to take advantage of me if I didnt behave in certain ways towards her etc....
I think the seduction community can be dangouros for many. It creates many negative beliefs about yourself in your mind and it also can create kind of like a double personality. "yourself" and your "pick up personality" the last one is not the real u and is manipulative and uses some one elses "pick up lines" and behavior that is not the real you.

It made me believe that my success in life was on how many girls I could get or how much girls would like me.
That made me trying to impress girls, and I could never be relaxed around them. everything was a "game" for me. and I would analyze situations later in my head or discussing it with other people.
Now I have realised that my happiness in life is not, and should not be dependent on if I have a girl or not.
I am good as I am right now, and everything I need is within me right now.
I dont need any tricks, tecniques, pick up lines, body language triks to be attractive.

This realisation has been a huge relife for me.
Last 2 weeks I have had better connections with girls than ever before, no nervousness, not inside my head, not outcome dependant.
conversations have been natural, flowing nice and I finally feel like I am my real self.
I have not even been thinking about it, just afterwards I have realized the changes.

I was surfing for some seductions stuff when I came into attractioninstitute.org. And then I read the ebook "endgame"and "seductionscommunity sucks" This made me convinced that what I was doing was not the right path and that there is much more simpler less frustrating ways.

I can also mention that I havent masturabated for 3 weeks. I now think its important not to even masturbate without orgasm to get the most out of the recovery period. But I think the biggest change in my relationship to girls is the change from learning these pickups skills, and not accepting who I am, to accepting who I am and know that I dont need to be other than my self.

Can also mention that I have been doing natural grounding for some weeks in addition to the other I mentioned.
Hope this helps for some :)

Very helpful

I'm sure there are other visitors for whom this report will be extremely useful.

There's nothing like the feeling of being yourself...and *still* feeling good about things. Wink

It's also useful to hear that the natural grounding approach has been helpful.

O shit. I had my first wet

O shit. I had my first wet dream in 8 years today! :( I can only rememberin having it 2 times during my whole life.
I am not sure what definition of wet dream is but I got orgasm while sleeping and semen came out (like a normal orgasm)
So I wonder is this bad for the recovery? do I have to start all over again counting the days? I feel quite depressed now :( I have felt so good the last couple of weeks. (4 weeks without orgasm) and I dont whant to get a hangover.

Dream was terrible. I was infront of the computer trying to close the windows of the porn videos but for some reason they just popped up again, I noticed I got closer and closer to orgasm for every time I couldnt close the vindows. and then until I reached orgasm. then I woke up. Really strange experience for me.

Relax!

Trust the process. Some people don't experience neurochemical ripples after wet dreams - or even orgasms they don't "go for." This is your chance to find out whether or not they affect you.

Problem I am struggling with

Expect my former porn habit there is one problem I have struggled a long time with.

I have really big anxiety for talking in front of a group of people. Like 3 persons and more. And I avoid it if I can.
Its limiting my life, because I dont study what I would like because its oral presentation at school. I also avoid going to job interviews, so that is hard for me to get the job that I want. So It really has big bad influence on my life :(
Have had it for 5 years after a bad experience when talking infront of a group. I have tried many things to overcome it, but it seems like no things works. When I get the anxiety, its like the primitive part of my brain takes over and I get really scared and gets paralyzed. I dont feel its like normal nervousness, I feel like there is a lion in the room thats going to eat me up! :(

Any advice on how I can overcome this life limiting anxiety?

I know this one well

Toastmasters was the cure for me. I suspect that the fact that this is an issue for you means that you have (or will have) ideas that need to be shared with the world. You will end up a better speaker by virtue of having to get this additional support now.

The beauty of Toastmasters is that you can attend as many meetings as you wish before you participate. Since everyone there wants to see people become better speakers, it's an amazingly supportive environment. After a while, speaking in front of the group actually becomes fun and deeply satisfying.
The only thing I regret about my Toastmasters experience is that I didn't do it decades earlier. I suffered for many years, quite needlessly, because I was avoiding the cure.

Kinda like having a porn addiction and always taking the easy way out instead of choosing a few weeks of withdrawal to get back in balance. Wink

Please don't hide your talents. At least go to a couple of meetings near you and observe. Then you can decide.

*big hug*

I am back

I am back and the reason is that I relapsed after around 2 years without porn.
It was some conflict in my personal life and I had already started viewing softcore pics. I felt depressed and I resulted in a 1 month of heavy use of hardcore porn and masturbation 2-3 times daily. It felt very good in the beginning, because I think my brain was again more sensitive after the long reboot period. So getting aroused was no problem. Well, after 1 month I felt it had become a problem for me, because I spend hours searching and downloading new porn. And it felt like I never couldnt get satisfied. Then I was feeling abit more sleepy and moody than usual also, and I was thinking that this cant continue!

So now I am back here at day 6 of no pmo. I am not sad because of the relapse. I just see it as a learning experience, and I feel that I know myself better. But the feeling that I am wasting my whole day searching for porn was really crappy and I would like to avoid that happening again. Felt like I had a virus on my brain saying download more more. Store as much as you can because u never know when the supply stops. This kind of strange toughs.
Even now I dont have the heart to delete the porn I have on my computer Wink Just in case I will need it in the future some this (this is how an addict behaves maybe?)

I can say now after only 6 days that I feel somewhat normal, compared to when I was hunting for porn to download. I have felt more energy and less negative feelings.
I dont expect any magical things to happen during the rebooting, but at least my mind can be more calm, and I can be more productive in other areas of my life.
When I read some other blog post its sounds like no pmo is the cure to all there problems, and they see dramatic positive changes in their behavoirs. For me I am not sure if it had happened to me. I wish it could, but I believe that many of the possitive changes can be because of the placebo effect? Because there are no true scientific studies on the mental effects of no pmo right? only the personal stories from members on this forum.

Well, now I must be nice to myself and not be self critical even tough I relapsed and I am looking forward to a new period of abstinence :) Only exeption is if I find a girl Wink
Thanks for reading

I forgot some question

1. Is lack of "morning wood" or spontanous erection a sign of too much pmo?

2.For me I have noticed that its hard for me to stay "hard" for a long time when I have sex with a girl. I can get a very hard instant erection, but when the foreplay is long or I need to put on a condom my penis loose some of it stiffness. I can still have sex with the girl, but my penis is not very stiff, and sometimes I have problem entering her.
I am just wondering if this is perfectly normal, or that my porn use might have caused this? I have used porn a long time before I met my first sexual partner.
I just imagine that a rock hard erection would be more normal during sex with real girls. Because when I am masturbating to porn I get much harder erections than when having sex with girls!! :(

I am bumping this in hope for

I am bumping this in hope for reply on my questions.
Update: Feel like the reboot thing is making me more emotional, and more mood swings than usual. But also I feel a calmness in my brain I havent felt for 1 month. (the time recently where I was very hooked on porn) I am also enjoying the time I can use on more healty things like reading a book, making music and watching a movie.

Day 16

Feel great. So far I have noticed these benefits lately.

* more positive outlook on life even though my life situation is the same.
* less need for sleep
* Girls looks way more attractive than before.
* Less anxious, more social
* more horny, easier turned on.