Effect of foregoing orgasm on sexual energy

Submitted by TommyMaddox on
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I've been studying sexual energy a lot lately as I think it has a huge effect on drive, ambition, creativity, etc. What I'm wondering is whether foregoing orgasm for a long period of time (say a month or more) will boost or dampen sexual energy. I know that when I forego orgasm for say, a week after my last orgasm I generally feel a good energy. However, I am now almost 3 weeks from my last orgasm and my sexual energy feels as if it is dropping. This is concerning to me as I like a feeling a good, solid state of high sexual energy.

When Marina writes about dopamine levels stabilizing after two weeks with no orgasm is that another way to say sexual energy stabilizes (or lessens?). If so, is it possible that that is actually a bad thing for those of us who credit high sexual energy with our productivity, drive, etc.?

I haven't seen anything written about this and I think it's a fascinating topic. Would love to hear what others think.

I hope you'll

continue to experiment with different periods of abstinence and let us know. The goal on this site is finding balance.

If you have a partner, karezza might work well for you (lovemaking without the goal of orgasm). If not, you may find a different interval is best. You may also find that results differ depending upon what kind of stimulation you use when you do orgasm.

Sexual energy is there to connect us with others, so lots of friendly interaction can be important, too, if you're in between partners. Would you like to start a thread of your own? I've enabled you to blog.

Keep Going

You are probably just settling into a less sexually charged equilibrium. (The two week cycle.) Go abstinent for awhile and see where it takes you. Use the sexual energy you have for good productive things. You will like it.

Heck, if you don't, you can always build your sexual peak back up, but I doubt once you see the benefits, you will not want to go back.....

Have fun with it!

It happens to me too

First long avoiding orgasms and there is this wonderful charge of sexual energy, but after awhile I stop feeling like a sexual being at all. I have gone as long as 6 months, without masturbation or orgasm and felt very unsexual and even less alive at that point.

I'm also concerned with this obsession our society has today with balancing neurotransmitters. With so many people gulping down anti-depressants and trying other methods (orgasm avoidance for example) to regulate themselves so they can participate in a maddening work-a-day world where everything is the same day in day out. Maybe it is our society that is wrong and not our brains. Humans are animals and are designed to hunt, gather, explore, create and interact all day, which they nolonger are able to do.

Personally, I think we need to go back to a more natural lifestyle. NOT sleeping at the same time every night. NOT doing the same thing every day. NOT waking up at the same time every day.

Also, there is a lot of talk about orgasm and lethargy, but in our world we push and push ourselves without sufficient rest. Personally I think it natural for humans to sleep 12 hours a day, but the medical industry (an industry in the interest of industry) reduced the recommendation first to 10, then to 8 now to six! If orgasm helps us to relax and take that time to rest, seems like, as always, nature knows best. If anyone is avoiding orgasm to have more energy, yet is taking sleeping pills at night, they may want to re-evaluate this strategy.

Do you have a partner?

My thought is that it's the exchange with others, on some level or other, that keeps the sparkle in our lives, not just careful use of sexual energy.

The problem most of our visitors have is escalation. If orgasm were acting as a nice sedative and nothing more, they wouldn't be here. Smile


Hi Marnia,
Are you asking me or Tommy or both?
I do have a partner though our sex lives are fairly independent. He has an injury that makes copulation nearly impossible and that is coupled with resulting emotions such as fear (his) of the sex act in general. I do try to make many affectionate interactions between us and feel that despite physical problems we have a very strong and loving relationship.

What do you mean by escalation? Do you mean escalating frequency (orgasm) and need for greater stimulation?

Myself, I enjoy going without orgasms for periods of time to revel in the sexual energy. It seems to keep me in the sexual act and has opened up my perspective somewhat. I see and feel sensuality in everything and everyone. However I do believe the orgasm is important too and should be revisited, however infrequently, to be sexually whole.

Balanced neurochemistry is a frightening thought for me. I'd rather be dynamic and ever changing like other aspects of nature.

No offense intended towards you Marnia. I appreciate your research and thoughts on this subject. I too am an inquisitive researcher and experimenter. While I do agree with you that wonderful lovemaking can occur without orgasm and orgasm is secondary to love making, also that orgasmless lovemaking can be deeper on a spiritual and emotional scale - I do have problems with the idea of balanced brain chemistry as a goal.

Thanks for your thoughts

Yes, I was asking you. Smile Both kinds of escalation seem to indicate that the brain can be getting number due to low dopamine receptors (and who knows what other changes). You've seen this article, right? http://www.reuniting.info/has_evolution_trained_our_brains_to_gorge_on_f...

"Balanced brain chemistry" in the sense you're thinking of it would, indeed, be unattainable and probably undesirable. We need brains that are flexible and responsive...and brains with sensitivity. When receptors and neurochemicals move to extremes, these sometimes qualities seem to go missing, making life less enjoyable and more compulsive.

For me "balance" doesn't mean "flat-line," but rather, "non-extreme." But "non-extreme brain chemistry" doesn't seem like quite the ideal term either. Wink Perhaps you have one to suggest.

Thanks for sharing your explorations. No offense taken. People are free to do with the information what they think best. It's still interesting information. Smile


For me the balance would be sinusoidal changes - ups and downs which are flowing and not abrupt.

Like the way a dolphin swims.


"There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me." - Gretchen Kemp


I was referring to balanced brain chemistry the way it is used in the pharmaceutical industry, which basically means keeping a person constantly productive.

Personally, I think extremes have their place and we are meant to experience them along with everything in between. I do believe that when we are in tuned with ourselves we naturally crave the things that are best for us. In the rat experiment where the pleasure center of the brain was directly stimulated, there is a glaring, obvious flaw.

The lives of laboratory animals are hellacious and cruel. These creatures never experience the warmth of the sun, the feel of fresh soil, or the challenges of natural terrain. Like many humans, they are in a sterile, unnatural, and constantly depressing world. As a long time keeper and breeder of rodents I have noticed drastic changes in the animals when placed in soil. Their movements become much quicker, their senses heightened and they generally seem excited.

Now consider the tortured prisoner rat deprived of all these sensations when they are offered a push button to their pleasure center. Any creature in such an insane environment might behave the way the rat did, pushing the button until it dropped dead. I wonder if the rat was put into the forest with the option of freedom if it might have changed its focus to other things.

I think the majority of our social ills (violence, sexual problems, depression, etc.) come from the fact that most people are not connecting with nature and the source of life on a regular basis. Your connection between well-being and bonding with a partner are of course, part of this. The habits of connection and bonding should be cultivated in all aspects of interaction, even with the air, plants and water.

Non Orgasmic Long term

HI I'm Paul 23 yo - bisexual - Just joined this forum - this thread interests me..

First a bit of my history...
I sort of discovered edging @ about 16 yo - by accident really - Prior to that JO sessions with buddies were about who could cum first. My first sex experience with GF I came too soon, so learning how to control became a priority. Nowadays I edge most days for between 20 mins - 1hr. Also I let semen build up & only cum every 3-4 weeks - my longest was 9 weeks

After the first week its an amazing feeling being so sexually charged up all the time. Takes a lot of willpower to concentrate on other things. But I'm quite into self denial & tests of willpower anyway & I'm convinced its worth the short term pain for a long term pleasure (I'm a bit into pain anyway - LOL )

The bit that interested me was about how saving one's self sexually boosts (or reduces) physical energy. I'm a keen keep fit, run & swim sort of guy, and in my experience, after the first week or so, my energy levels are seriously boosted. I run/swim faster & longer, lift more weights, swim in ice water colder & longer, my pain threshold is higher. But there comes a time (for me after about 4-5 weeks) when, even though I've not ejaculated, my physical energy levels drop to about normal. For this reason I prefer NOT to save myself for extended periods.


You're not the first person

to notice that pattern, although for some people it takes longer to get to phase two. One solution is just to find your ideal rhythm, as you apparently have. Another is to find a partner with whom you have regular sex (but infrequent orgasm). That seems the way to sustain the benefits you're noticing indefinitely.

The Desire to Cum

As a teen up till my early 30's the desire to ejaculate was so strong,although I had read Napolean Hill's Chapter on Sex transmutation and knew it was depleting my creative drive I was too weak to resist multiple masturbations and ejaculations daily whether with or without a partner.

As a teen I remember sometimes 5-10 a day,it amazed me at the time how the urge came back so quick.Some of the more mature ladies that "educated" me during those years were not unhappy about it,but surprised too.

Only since my mid 30's has that desire slightly decreased,although I did take more control and give in less to the urge for the blissful release, and my interest in sex transmutation returned so I want to discover more on control.I am now 39.

I am single now after 2 years with a beautiful sensual Brazilian girl.
She practiced a form of Karezza I think.She ran her fingers over my back repeatedly till I slept,and although it was also arousing,if she did it long enough the urge subsided and sleepiness took over.
It was a bliss I hadn't experienced before but which seemed natural to her.

Marnia,I wonder if there is an alternative to the Karezza as I'm single at the moment and I feel the urge for masturbating and ejaculating several times a week but I know it's wrong and want to follow your principles more to achieve the balance.

Have you any suggestions?Are there any experienced ladies that can be a companion .I'm not the most comfortable going in detail with many guys or in public forum.Thanks for your help and wonderful understanding and your expert insight.

Thanks for posting

You know you can start your own blog, too, right?

Karezza's really about couples, but various traditions have developed ways to cultivate sexual energy while solo. Some are collected here: Energy Circulation Practices If you experiment, let us know how it goes.

There is also a discussion of masturbation options here: Are there any guidelines for healthy masturbation?

PS No names. I took yours out.angel