Why would one orgasm make a difference after exchanges

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You wrote that if a couple had been doing the "exchanges" for awhile and one accidently causes an orgasm, it will change things for the worse. But you said such a couple would be releasing lots of oxytocin and be trusting and intimate- like an ideal couple in love, in other words. I would suppose that it would take a number of orgasms (if that) to cause any changes, as that is the case for couples in love, as was written before. Is a large amount of prolactin released or what? Just curious.

Re: Why would one orgasm make a difference after "excha

Someone wrote:
You wrote that if a couple had been doing the "exchanges" for awhile and one accidently causes an orgasm, it will change things for the worse. But you said such a couple would be releasing lots of oxytocin and be trusting and intimate- like an ideal couple in love, in other words. I would suppose that it would take a number of orgasms (if that) to cause any changes, as that is the case for couples in love, as was written before. Is a large amount of prolactin released or what? Just curious.

Hello Someone,

First of all, Marnia is currently in Australia, and she is not always able to connect to the internet.

From my experience, an orgasm that comes after a long period of practicing non-orgasmic sex can have dramatic consequences. I am not sure if the consequences are actually worse than if you have orgasms every day, but you certainly notice them better because the difference with the previous period is so obvious.

Yes, a loving couple will find many wise ways to cope with the downside effects of orgasm. But it doesn't mean that they don't suffer those negative consequences.

Marnia suggests in her book those very loving couple are kinds or "super-couples" for having learned to stay in love with each other despite repeated orgasms. She hints that such couples could probably reach new heights should they try to experiment with non-orgasmic sex.

Finding your soul-mate is not the real answer to the orgasmic roller-coaster. If I remember well, Marnia confesses in her book that she has dated a guy who felt like her soul mate, but the relationship broke down nonetheless.

A question many people have when first approaching the concept of non-orgasmic sex, is thus: "If the results of orgasm are so devastating, how come I know some couples who most probably have many orgasms together and yet still seem to be so much in love." Marnia suggests that behind the facade, the situation may not be as ideal as it appears.

I had the very same question, myself. I was looking at othe couples around me. Teenage couples always seem to be so much in love... but we know it doesn't last long. Within couples in their 40s, married ten years or more, the husband and wife seem more distant, even in public.

Still, I know of one couple who are so nice, have a nice home, nice kids, etc. Such a loving family. They are Christians in a country were Christians are a very small minority (yet, they don't feel oppressed and don't think there's a "war on Christianity"). Everything seems so perfect from the outside, and I always wondered what it would look like from the inside.
Recently, I received the answer from the wife. I know the husband works in another city, so they see each other only during the week-end. Recently, I was invited to their home for lunch, and the wife stated in the middle of a conversation that she can't stand being touched by her husband during the night, so they sleep in a king size bed with a big pillow tucked between the two. She said so herself! So on the facade, the couple was very loving, committed to each other, but behind that, the division was running deep.

You ask: "Why would one orgasm make a difference after having practiced the ecstatic exchanges"?

Why? Gary and Marnia have at least given the beginning of a scientific answer. Please refer to the science section of this site.

A question that more people would ask is: "Would, yes or no, one orgasm make a difference after having practiced the ecstatic exchanges"?

Really, the answer is included in the question. A couple who has taken the time to investigate and experience for themselves the magic of Sexual Alchemy (as I call it) after having practiced the exchanges for a period of a few weeks at least, if this couple then experiences an accidental orgasm, they would then know what difference that single orgasm made, so they wouldn't need to take our word for it.

Try yourself. Once you have done so, come back in this forum and tell us what you found out! Wink

Have fun investigating non-orgasmic sex with your next partner.

Blessings.

Re: Why would one orgasm make a difference after "excha

Hello again, Someone,

I'm just coming back from my lunch break, during which I had been pondering on your comment.

I think my first reply doesn't answer your question at all, so allow me to try again...

Someone wrote:
You wrote that if a couple had been doing the "exchanges" for awhile and one accidently causes an orgasm, it will change things for the worse. But you said such a couple would be releasing lots of oxytocin and be trusting and intimate- like an ideal couple in love, in other words. I would suppose that it would take a number of orgasms (if that) to cause any changes, as that is the case for couples in love, as was written before. Is a large amount of prolactin released or what? Just curious.

I think your questions stem from the fact that you use the wrong analogy in your mind.

Let me give you a few analogies that will hopefully clarify what the effects of one single orgasm can be, even after having practiced the exchanges for many months.

Imagine lucky me who just had a big crème brûlée. Imagine that the cook, a friend, who served my my dessert, is a prankster. He added half a pinch of pepper on it. Unfortunately for him, his prank didn't work, because I didn't even notice the taste of the pepper, but I thouroughly enjoyed my favorite dessert :D . Miam! Slurp! :)

Similarly, a drop of wine in a glass full of water will not improve much the taste of the water, and a drop of water in an ocean doesn't improve (or worsen) things either...

So why would one single orgasm wreck havoc in the live of a couple otherwise commited to Karrezza? How come the small amount of dopamine released during the orgasm will destroy the benefits of all the prolactin that has been created during weeks of a nurturing and harmonious sexual relationship? That's what you're really asking, isn't it?

But you use the wrong analogy in your mind.

First of all, there is nothing wrong per se about dopamine. We need some, neither too little, nor too much. See in the following page the table with both the effects of a deficiency and an excess of dopamine:
http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_and_addiction
We need just the righ amount, no more, no less.

Imagine a sports hall, or stadium. It's two in the morning, not a soul is in here. It's a huge place, and it's perfectly quiet. But a cat is in there, in a corner of the enormous hall. It's a female and she's in heat. I don't know if you're like me, having raised female cats at home: believe me, when they are in heat, they know how to let people know about it! That lone little cat, lost in the big hall will destroy the peace and the quietness of the place as she calls to neighboring tom cats.

Imagine now a huge tank of water. It's indoor. It's undisturbed. There is not a ripple on the surface of the water. The tank can hold thousands of gallons of water.
Take then a small pebble. It's very small, especially compared to the volume of the tank. Drop the pebble from a certain height into the tank. The water will ripple from the place to pebble entered the water, away to the sides of the tank, reverberate against them, and ripple back to the center of the tank. As the ripples travel back to the center, they hit against the ripple who are still travelling outwards, amplifying the highs and the lows.
And it will take a while before the body of water is quiet again.

So, what's an orgasm that comes after weeks of non-orgasmic, loving sex?

It may be an small excess of dopamine in the middle of a pool of prolactine...

But...

It's not a pinch of pepper on your own crème brûlée;
it's a dog barking at three in the morning in the middle of the sports arena.

It's not a drop of wine in a glass full of water nor a drop of water in the middle of the ocean;
it's the tiny pebble that makes waves on the quiet watery surface.
The pebble might be small, but its effects are obvious.

One single orgasm can be an accident, but many here can bear testimony that its effects are very noticeable.
Fortunately, its effects will not last forever, and if the couple is careful after such an accident, they can go right back on track, and recover their former peace and harmony.

Again, a couple who has experienced this first hand, doesn't need to take my word or Marnia's word for it. They will know.

I hope my analogy also help you to understand better the answer to your question: "Why not just orgasm less frequently?". http://www.reuniting.info/node/302
Scientific evidence, timeless spiritual teachings, and personal experiences show that it just doesn't work.

Blessings.