I've been interested in theories of alternative modes of sexuality for a long time already. One of the main reasons why I find the theories on this website attractive, is that I have verified some of its truth through 'accidental' experience. Throughout the years, whenever I spent some weeks travelling during the summer holidays with a group of friends, spending the nights in hostel dorm rooms, I often noticed how easy it becomes to abstain from orgasm when there's no privacy. And I often felt filled with great energy and a spiritual sense of loving after a few weeks of this 'forced' abstinence.
When I first came across this site 1.5 years ago, I tried to abstain from orgasm for 14 days, and made it until the 12th day. Afterwards I immediately fell back to routine nearly everyday masturbation, so now I want to try it again, and report about it on this forum. I am still not completely convinced that orgasm is truely as harmful to relationships as is claimed on this website, as I think the feeling of postorgasmic disappointment is, although undoubtedly helped by neurotransmitters, also largely an effect of social conditioning. Especially the idea within patriarchy that to be male is to remain forever in control, both of women and of oneself, which is of course exposed as an unattainable ideology immediately after ejaculation. Maybe it's different for everyone, but I don't experience postorgasmic disappointment quite as much in actual sex when both persons are truely in love, especially when compared to instances of 'mechanical' porn watching it is really quite neglectable.
So to summarize, although I believe in the benefits of abstinence, I also do not want to 'tabooize' orgasm too much. Especially because this, through a possible return of the repressed, might make it only harder to abstain from it. I simply want to make it less of a big deal, less central to my sexuality, that's as much as I can aim for right now. And that's why for now I am abstaining not for 40 or 90, but just a mere 14 days (which will already be hard enough I am sure). If I manage this, I'll see wheter I want to continue for longer.
With kindest regards,