Submitted by handisband on
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I am a little over 30 years old.

So I've gone 14 days without an orgasm or masturbation. In this period I have watched a lot of pornography on the internet, but refused to masturbate to it. When I didn't watch porn on the internet I would go as far as to go to department stores and feel women's skirts, blouses, and panties on the racks. This would trigger an naughty arousal in me. The soft nylon and silky fabrics gave me an arousing feeling.

Being a single guy something that would often trigger my impulsive masturbation would be when I experienced a rejection or pass up from a woman when I asked her out or made a advance at a bar or party or social event. I would take the frustration and anger from the rejection and masturbate to images of the woman that rejected me. This cycle is what kept me in that masturbation loop.

So far I get a lot of erections during the day and the erection gives me surge of energy. When I see a woman walk by in a nice skirt or dress with long hair I get that physical rush of energy. It used to be I needed a stronger pornographic fantasy from the internet to get any type of arousal.

What ruined my last relationship with a girl was that was not as attractive as my masturbation fantasy. We tried to have sex several times, but I could never get aroused. I only got an erection with her when I visualized a fantasy from the internet while with her. She eventually was hurt and left me.

So I'm going to take the next step after reading Marina's Psychology Today articles and refrain from porn as well. A issue I might have is that If I refrain from porn I will look for the outlet somewher else such as feeling the fabric of women's clothes, pantyhose at a department store. I need to work on keeping the energy chanelled. The gym helps me a lot.

Thanks for sharing your story

Congratulations on your progress! That's excellent.

It's good to know that exercise helps. Find the other things that register as soothing to the brain, too. It will make the adjustment period easier...and a lot more pleasant. Do you like time in nature, meditation, time with friends, time with pets, being creative, working hard on something, helping someone else out with something? Cram your schedule full of these things that don't create cravings, but do help return you to balance.

Fantasizing about porn scenarios, even using real women, can also keep your brain wired to extreme superstimuli (instead of normal sex), so some men recommend focusing on the sensual experience of masturbation and trying to disconnect from the fantasizing. Here's a fiery essay to this effect. Smile

You're very brave to experiment. Finding a middle ground is a challenge. Have you visited the porn articles on the Wiki page? You might find some useful tips.

Hope you're soon enjoying a connection with a real woman! Start a blog if you like, so you can let us know how you progress.