My last blog post was titled Purely Sublime. Really its true my life is so good, I can barely comprehend it, am only beginning to fully surrender to joy. The joy of growing our own food. The joy of steaming up food (lambsquarters!) that grew wild - that the earth just gave. The joy of having my man reach up to grab my little titties as he sits on the chair and I bend over across the table. The view to the volcano and its white snow in this summer heat. Being my own boss, owning my own business. Studying what I truly love: craniosacral therapy.
Enjoying the uniqueness of my man: he hasn't masturbated once since meeting me eight months ago (so he claims, so I believe him). He does not watch porn. That is not part of our life. We are turning into simple country folk in not so simple times. Where the situation is so globally precarious, it makes little sense to do anything but become a farmer. Or so my life has led me.
Although this is my life, it is not most people's experience. Most people are having an urban experience. Porn seems to come part and parcel with the disconnection between people and land. And pardon me for my facetiousness, and check me please if this rings false. But the more and more that I live here, close to the land, the more I see that the distortions of being an urban dweller run so deep that most manifestations of it come from the nervous tension built up from being separated from The Lover, which is the land, which is nourishment, which is fresh air, which is the integrity of being responsible for one's own food, which is the responsibility to care, which is the integrity of caring for oneself. Or so I see it in my framework, my worldview.
I have been watching my body and psyche slowly begin to decompress itself out here. I have lived in some of the largest urban centers in the world (NYC, Istanbul) and coming back to the land, to the mother, to the Beloved, informs me in ways that are so subtle and deep, they don't compare to the magnitude and speed of the city life. Because this life on the land is teaching me about what it means to be human by learning the ways of the nonhuman. Whereas living in a city means learning what it means to be human amongst the man made and in the midst of other humans. Which leaves little perspective for what we are really here for, which in my opinion is NOT money, accomplishment, prestige, etc etc. The only reason we are here is to care. Because if we don't, we simply won't survive. Having a garden teaches you this in a really real way: you must care. You MUST, if you want to LIVE. The basis of life is caring for something larger than yourself, and caring for yourself through your love of that thing larger, which is wholly mysterious, and certainly cannot be condensed into a pixel.
In craniosacral therapy lingo, there is this recognition of a phenomenon called "The Breath of Life". It is a very slow and very subtle and very deep tide in nature that moves at a 100 second cycle and which organizes life systems. Our bodies are made mostly of fluid, and there is a longitudinal fluctuation of fluid called the Long Tide that is another layer and "sleeve" of the Breath of Life as it expresses itself through our fluid body. Within this Long Tide is another, faster tide, called the Mid-tide. Our tissues, cells and nerves organize themselves in this Mid-tide frequency though the ever deeper and slower sleeves of the Long Tide and Breath of Life. Which means that the nervous system is encased in and regulated by slower and slower organizing forces and tides of nature.
Hang in there with me folks.
So, it turns out that this Mid-tide frequency of the Cranial Rhythmic Impulse, which is how the craniosacral fluid in the center of your spine pulses, is very sensitive to stress. My teacher told me that he has palpated people who live in nature and close to the land and they do not have the same Cranial Rhythmic Impulse that urban dwellers do. It seems that the high-stress environment of the urban landscape compresses the nervous system and causes the CRI to try to adapt by speeding up.
Here is an excerpt that explains what the CRI does: "The CRI represents the conditioned nature of the human system. It is a rhythm that is conditioned by genetics and experiental processes. It is the wave form of our experience, it is not a direct expression of the Long Tide, yet it is driven by these deeper forces. It is like the wave forms that ride on the deeper tides. This rhythm expresses the patterns of our unresolved experience. The quality and rate of this rhythm is an expression of the action of genes as they unfold, of the state of the central nervous system and its autonomic functions, and is further conditioned by the various forces and experiences we meet in life. The quality and state of the CRI is directly affected by the state of the autonomic nervous system. It is also strongly affected by unresolved shock states held in the system. Its rate of expression will change due to the forces of unresolved trauma and teh nature of the unresolved experiences held in the system." (Franklyn Sills, Craniosacral Biodynamics)
For whoever has read this far (hello Marnia), I would propose that what is actually happening in Karezza is that the lovers are dipping down to the Long Tide, the slower nourishing tides which are self-regulating and which affect the Mid-tide and overall functioning of the nervous system, calming it down. I would also propose that most people watching porn or having goal-oriented sex are caught up in the faster pulses of teh CRI, which is holding genetic trauma and unresolved shock states that are trying to be ejected from the system. The problem is that when the CRI level of stress becomes the tide that is identified with as reality, it becomes uncoupled with the slower tides, which emerge mostly through stillness, and which are ultimately nourishing, because they are the ground of our being.
According to this idea, karezza lovemaking affects the nervous system but operates from a system that is pre-nervous system. The tides that I described above are real and have been observed as different levels of embodiment as the embryo unfolds. There is a period of development that is part of the continuum of who we are and how we are still unfolding that is NOT nervous system. As Sills says, "perception is not dependent upon the presence of a fully formed nervous system."
Interestingly, the perceptive tool that craniosacral therapists use to help people to re-couple with these very slow tides is Stillness, the same principle that Marnia focuses on, and which the Dao De Jing also describes as the ultimate ground of reality:
"Great De and its features
Flow entirely from Dao
is only intangible and illusive.
Intangible and illusive,
yet within it are images.
Illusive and intangible,
yet in it are forms.
Shadowy and obscure,
yet within it is essence.
Essence so real,
That within it is true potency."
and . . .
"Attain complete emptiness
Hold fast to stillness
The then thousand things stir about
I only watch for their return
Things grow and grow
But each returns to its root
Returning to its root is Stillness
This means returning to what is."