07:26:10

Submitted by KOS-MOS on
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I figured something out about myself recently, I can even remember saying this thing aloud, and then forgot about it.

I think that ultimately, sex isn't something I care that much about, it's importance is illusory. Of course, superficially it feels like it is of the utmost importance due to what is gained, and I really don't think it's that different for anybody else. What I do think, is that the perception of what is gained, not what you're actually trying to get.

I think when many of us are vulnerable to the flattery of attention, sex seems like a reinforcer of worth. If someone wants our bodies, then we must be valuable. Then, we become addicted to that "high" that we perceive to be held in the orgasm. I've given this a lot of time and thought, and I can now say that the high is not in the orgasm. The orgasm is simultaneously the peak and end of that high, and ultimately the death of the connection that we are all trying to achieve in our escapades. That is why no matter how intense or good the orgasm is, we are soon seeking it out again.

Now being more aware of this, I have made note that lovemaking without orgasm continues on after the act. This is something I have read about (Left-handed Tantra and Taoist Dual-Cultivation), but not experienced or been previously aware of. Because you never really 'finish' making love, that energy you build, layer upon layer, is sustained. It flows beautifully through every limb and every action, soon enough every part of interaction becomes lovemaking. The power of this phenomena cannot be overstated, as I have experienced it.

It far surpasses any kind of ecstasy I've known, I can only imagine what it must feel like to be present in every moment, and actively cultivate that energy. To be aware and not lost totally in what my body is feeling. I have begun to experience this without trying, simply by being aware and not being too concerned with driving toward a goal. At first, I could not understand what I was reading, but now I understand it completely.

Last night I lie awake and thought about this, pulling the energy from my pelvis and up my spine. Eventually it exited out my eyes in a stream of tears and I was at peace. The pure energy of it was so beautiful that I mourned that it ever had to leave, and longed to feel it not just during those moments of physical union, but all the time.

!

Comments

Thanks, KOS

This post made me really happy. Not just because you can taste the experience for yourself, but also because you pointed out that it's impossible to grock until you experience it.

It's lovely to feel that connection alive throughout your relationship, instead of just on rare occasions. Like being plugged in, instead of running on flickering batteries. Smile

You said grock.

It has been so long since I have seen some one else use that word, and it is the right word. Beyond the word understand. Beyond getting it.

:)

Quizure

Because life is not about who you were, it is about who you are becoming.

Hi Marnia, I honestly

Hi Marnia,

I honestly believe this phenomena is something that few people can understand, that is not me being cocky or thinking lowly of others, I just really think it's beyond the minds of most. I had the experience on accident really, only part of the way through I decided I would not be looking for a peak at the end. Sure, there was some build up, but I seemed to channel that to all areas of my body and mind. I was so present and aware, it was enrapturing in a way that I cannot describe, especially for the time when that presence was shared. It was the greatest bliss I have ever experienced, something that not even multiple orgasms could hold a candle to. I did not feel 'frustrated' afterward, though I will admit I felt a bit alone because I could not share the fruition of the experience (he wanted to finish, and I granted that).

I have found myself leaning more and more toward Tantra-Yoga practices, as they make the most sense to me, and I like the idea of using sexual energy to further my own spiritual progression instead of constantly expending it into some unknown void. I of course have to come to a compromise, as my partner expressed great concern to me. He feels I am leaving him behind, and without my orgasm he feels a great loss. Seeing his very real hurt, I could not refuse his request. But, what I hope we can do is integrate this practice more regularly as it was so fulfilling for me.

At the same time, I think the reason I got so much out of it, is because I was ready to receive what it had to offer... and I surrendered to it completely.

Thanks for your honesty

It took me time, too, before I realized that "granting" partner's wishes in the bedroom was hurting them. (From years of experiments, I already knew it was hurting me, but for a while I assumed I was "strong" enough to weather the subsequent fallout. Smile )

See what you notice over the next two weeks. I think that to see the advantages of karezza partners really have to learn to observe the entire orgasm cycle in their lives. At that point, they no longer mistake it for "just another flavor of ice cream that's a little different from chocolate." Wink

*sigh*

Oh, I think I'm fully aware

Oh, I think I'm fully aware that it would be better off sticking to Tantric practices, but to make some peace for now I have to ease into it. I think in time he will begin to see the benefits, I just know that I can't press them too hard. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

KOS-MOS wrote: Last night I

[quote=KOS-MOS]

Last night I lie awake and thought about this, pulling the energy from my pelvis and up my spine. Eventually it exited out my eyes in a stream of tears and I was at peace. The pure energy of it was so beautiful that I mourned that it ever had to leave, and longed to feel it not just during those moments of physical union, but all the time.

![/quote]

Wonderful! I'm on a similar journey. I feel a profound empathy for you.