As some of you know, my partner and I work in the same office. This last week we had a 'hell week', as far as work goes - systems sending out failing messages in the middle of the night on Sunday (had to go in at 1 am - stayed till 3, home at 4, back in at 8, yeesh!) , a yearly audit starting, and our usual rush to get the money 'out the door'. We still keep in touch with a group of ex-employees, and this most recent Friday, 10 of us had a date to go out and have a Friday happy hour. As it was, we were an hour late getting out from work - and if that had happened in the past, we would have just gone home, because well, we'd have been in a bad mood, given the week behind us. Instead, we braved the traffic and met our friends at happy hour. We were able to 'switch off' the work brain easily, and enjoy the company of our friends. My oldest friend from this group (who's married, and has been married to the same wonderful guy for 30+ years), said that we both looked better and happier than she'd ever seen us. And she's known us, as a couple, for 10+ years. She wanted to know what our secret was! All Michael and I could do is look at each other, laugh, and shrug. We didn't know what to say. (She had recently invited me to a 'sex-toy party', which I begged out on, so if I'm going to introduce CPA, I'll need to do it in a less public situation.) 3 of the people at this group are gay men - one is an widowed woman, and the other is a reclusive unattached male who's very cerebral. Sometimes the group is larger, and includes other folks, but this is the core group. All of us have worked together at one time or another, so that's our connection.
Obviously, I find it interesting that at least one person remarked on just how happy and unstressed my partner and I appeared (this has *never* happened before.). We *are* very happy and unstressed, so I guess it shows. I am certain it's the Karezza. There is no other explanation. I also find it interesting that this group includes a number of gay men, and a woman, while I assume isn't gay, but isn't very feminine, and a man, who seems 'asexual' to me. There's also a lesbian couple who couldn't attend. There's a balance, I would say, of yin-yang, even though some of the people are gay, some are straight and some are bi-sexual or androgynous. The ages in this group are from 20's to late 50's.
So where am I going with this? I think there's a lot of pressure via dress, behavior and dating-sexuality to be a very alpha male, or to be the very feminine and beautiful, but 'strong' female. (Is there a name for the equivalent of an 'alpha' female? ) Anyway, my observation is that *it is not necessary* to be that way to be happy, partnered and emotionally connected to other people. If there are people who look down on you in some way for being not-so-alpha, or not so beautiful, drop them like a hot potato - they don't deserve you as friends. Keep looking for folks who are 'one of your kind' (Hey Soul Sister!) and when you find them - lavish them with love, smiles and open affection. The yin-yang will naturally balance out.
"I knew when we collided, you're the one I have decided, who's one of my kind"