Anyone had an experience of living without orgrasm for more than 6 monthes?

Submitted by razer on
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Hello,

I'm 29 y/o male. I have an orgasm experience from the age of 13 till now.
16 years living with ograsm, 16 year of "addiction" to orgasm.

Now I want to try to live without ograsm for 6 monthes (no sex, no masturbation, no sexual activity at all).
Do anyone have such experience?

Thank you.

Razer

I have lived without orgasm for quite a few years but I do have a partner which makes it so much easier to accomplish especially if your partner is on board with you.

Do you have a partner? You did not mention if you were single or not.

This is a good thing

I was hoping to hear from people who have some time as well. It's important to hear that things will get better and won't be such a struggle. Anything you can provide in terms of encouragement and experience would be very valuable.

Dano

You ask if things will get better and wont be such a struggle. If you're referring to practicing karezza with your partner then I can unequivocally say, yes, it will get better and easier, especially if you're partner is on board with you. As the months go by you will get into a rhythm with karezza until this feels like the natural way and orgasming will feel kind of all wrong. It does seem to take longer to get the feel and flow compared to many other things but its as if the additional length of time it takes makes it stick that much more until its almost an effortless flow.

If you are asking for support around dealing with porn and masturbation from someone who's been over it for a good while I'm no help in this department as masturbation was never a big activity for me when I was in a relationship and I've been in one for 27 years. Also, porn never seem to hold my fascination like it does for so many men. But, if its karezza you want support and encouragement around I can offer plenty of that.

I really sympathize with all the guys struggling with porn addictions, I had no idea. At first, when I came to this site I only read posts around folks working with karezza since thats what I know and whats important to me. Then one day I decided to read a few of the post about porn addition and it really opened my eyes. My heart went out all the men struggling with this issue. I dont know why it hasnt gotten a real hold in my life. Maybe because I'm from a bit older generation, cant say for sure. I will say one thing, I immediately went and had a frank conversation with my two teenage sons to alert them to what can happen. In this way all of your stories may help to keep two teenage boys I love dearly from falling into this hidden addiction. And I'm always trying to get them to stop eating so much sugar!! Sometimes I feel like clueless father in such fast moving and changing times.

i have no partner. my goal

i have no partner.
my goal is to live 200 days without ograms (or have an orgasm for make a real child).

>Darryl
FEW YEARS? few years without ograsm? how old you were? can you please tell me about your feelings first weeks? first monthes?

Razer

Your question makes me uncomfortable. I feel like there's more you need to know before you embark on your quest.

First, today's computer literate young men are being bombarded by hyper-stimulating sexual cues. They actually change the brain...not irreparably, but the changes are real and take time to disappear, even under ideal circumstances. The changes increase sexual dissatisfaction, increase inner conflict when abstaining, and sometimes cause other effects (OCD behavior, anxiety, depression, insomnia, social anxiety, etc.). They're not easy to deal with, in other words.

So your experience with abstaining is going to be more challenging if you've been viewing porn.

Now, I can sympathize with your desire to be free of the related problems, but they will take time to fade. And at the end of the day, you are going to have to make friends with your sexuality - rather than try to rigidly control it. I encourage people here to strive for balance, and to try not to think in black and white terms, such as "ejaculation is bad; abstention is good."

If anything about sex is bad, it's "imbalance," because it increases misery and alters priorities and cravings in unhelpful ways. Balance and feelings of wholeness, on the other hand, make sound thinking and satisfaction a lot easier.

It would be nice to know more about the recovery process. Generally, I would say that the first hurdle for most people is two weeks of no P/M/O, and, if they keep going, that another (physiological) turning point comes at about two months (or before). Beyond that (or even before, if you opt for a slower transition), unless you have a mate, or are a sexual yogi, you are probably going to have to come up with a masturbation schedule.

That's okay. Just don't use porn because it increases imbalance (because it is so extreme, that is, so much more stimulating than just masturbating to sensual, physical feelings, or realistic thoughts about potential mates and affectionate sexual encounters).

I don't know if my remarks here help, but I hate to see people tie themselves in knots. Your generation has a big challenge with porn, but it's the kind of challenge you need patience and humor and compassion (for yourself and others) to solve.

Rigid thinking, intense inner conflict, and unrealistic goals just set you up for discouragement and feelings of failure.

On the other hand, if you just view yourself as being in your own private laboratory, you can see every event in the process as part of learning about your sexuality. There's no "wrong" or "right." There's only knowledge, and hopefully greater balance...and wisdom. And if you encounter a few bumps on the way, relax.

*big hug*