Happiness is attractive

Submitted by Quizure on
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Happy people are the most attractive - no matter their age, weight, or 'objective' appearance.

I can't find the exact quote I was looking for regarding happiness (I swear it was something in a science blog, but now I can't find it). In searching for that quote, I ran across a page full of ideas as to how to increase our happiness.

The most important thing I read in that quote was this:

"Are you happy? If not, why not? List some reasons. I challenge you to consider each and then realize that it’s not the circumstances themselves that have “made” you unhappy, but rather your reaction to them. Just the fact that you are not exercising your ability to choose to rise above the circumstances is plenty reason to be unhappy! You’ve made yourself out to be a passive victim. Rise above those thoughts!"

The whole page is here, and is filled with all kind of good ideas:



Thanks Quiz

I think I'll just snitch some more of the material at that link and put it here:

Seven Keys To Happiness - It's Your Choice

So, what are the KEYS TO HAPPINESS anyway? Some medical researchers say that happiness is 50 percent genetic. That leaves 50 percent to work with; that, my friend, is up to you.

There is much wisdom in those famous words from The United States Declaration of Independence when it says, “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” “Liberty” means freedom. Freedom is about being free to choose. Perhaps the most important of the KEYS TO HAPPINESS is feeling that you are exercising your freedom to choose.


* Exercise Choice
* Become Relentlessly Positive
* Practice Gratitude
* Act Happy
* Give
* Stay Focused On Now
* Find Little Pleasures

Keys to Happiness - Exercise Choice

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln

Lincoln suffered terribly from depression all his life. Yet, he chose to rise above his feelings time and time again. Realizing that you have the power to choose your thoughts and oftentimes even your feelings every minute of every day is a profound truth.

All genetics and circumstances aside, your happiness is your choice. Author and researcher Gregg Easterbrook has said that most people take the “path of least resistance” when it comes to happiness and making one’s life fulfilling.
In other words, most folks simply don’t take the steps to bring happiness into their lives; they look for solutions outside themselves and become passive, letting things happen instead on taking initiative and making things happen. They passively choose unhappiness.

Though so many have willingly but unwittingly accepted the circumstances of their lives, each of us have been given the power to choose how he shall think, feel and act; it’s all about responsibility. When you realize that you can rise above circumstances and choose your responses to whatever life brings your way, it is an incredible sense of power.

Are you happy? If not, why not? List some reasons. I challenge you to consider each and then realize that it’s not the circumstances themselves that have “made” you unhappy, but rather your reaction to them. Just the fact that you are not exercising your ability to choose to rise above the circumstances is plenty reason to be unhappy! You’ve made yourself out to be a passive victim. Rise above those thoughts!

The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions,
not our circumstances.
Martha Washington

Keys to Happiness - Become Relentlessly Positive

Author and researcher Gregg Easterbrook has said, "If you are looking for something to complain about, you are absolutely certain to find it." Just observe unhappy people and you will see that they literally are looking for things to complain about or can somehow squeeze misery out of what looks like a good situation!

In the same way, happy people look for the positive point of view. They don’t bemoan the current “economy” (this was written in March 2009). They look for solutions and direction. They are careful of what they say, realizing that even expressing a negative perspective can “bring them down.”

Watch your words, observe your thoughts. Choose to be positive. Choose a positive perspective. Practice positive affirmations. Just the act of choosing positive thoughts and words can make you happy. Eventually, you feel equipped and empowered to rise above what brings others down. The sense of satisfaction that you gain from being independent of circumstances is powerful.

The mind is its own place, and in itself,
can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven.
John Milton

Keys to Happiness - Practice Gratitude

You can’t complain when you practice gratitude. You can’t stay unhappy for very long when you’re feeling grateful.

The more grateful you are for every little thing, the more you will observe to be even more grateful! You will always spot the same car as yours, whether in traffic or in a parking lot. Make gratitude a constant exercise that is “your thing.” You will start “seeing your thing” all over the place!

When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears.
Anthony Robbins

Keys to Happiness - Act Happy

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance,
the wise grows it under his feet.
James Oppenheim

Happiness really isn’t so much a feeling as it is an attitude. Have a proactive attitude toward happiness. Don’t sit around waiting for something happy to happen; act happy!

This is my "depressed stance." When you're depressed,
it makes a lot of difference how you stand.
The worst thing you can do is straighten up
and hold your head high because
then you'll start to feel better.
If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed,
you've got to stand like this.
Charlie Brown

How do you act happy? What’s a happy person look like? Hopefully, like you. Of course, she smiles, laughs, walks with shoulders back and has that “gleam” in her eye. For some other ways to act happy, check here and then here.

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile,
but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.
Thich Nhat Hanh

Keys to Happiness - Give

Giving is simply a way of forgetting your own needs and putting someone else first. The act itself should bring happiness. The response you receive from the one you give to is another boost. HOWEVER, don’t give to get a response; that’s conditional giving. Give because it’s a good thing to do. Give if it makes you feel better. Don’t be concerned about people’s response.

Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others,
cannot keep it from themselves.
James M. Barrie

The giving can start in very simple, practical ways. Give away your smile. Give away a positive attitude. Give a warm greeting.

Often unhappiness can arise from too much thinking and trying to figure out. You become too self-focused. If this happens, figure out how you can give. Do something nice for someone. I guarantee that if you practice this, happiness will be your constant companion.!

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
The Dalai Lama

Keys to Happiness - Stay Focused On The Now

The secret of health for both mind and body is
not to mourn for the past, worry about the future,
or anticipate troubles
but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.

I recommend you read The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle. You’ll gain some wonderful tools for getting your mind and spirit out of the past and decrease that powerful propensity to anticipate the future.

The present moment is always the only time you have ever had and will ever have to live in. It would be most beneficial to your happiness if you became more familiar with the present moment.

Just this week (it’s almost Spring as I write this) after I came home from work, I sat outside on my little landing with a beer and a burrito covered with sausage. Besides just slowing down and purposely trying to taste and savor what I was eating and drinking, I focused on what was around me. I listened to the birds chirping. I felt the breeze on my face. I listened to some young guys laughing. I watched the sun slowly set. I was present to the moments and it brought me a quiet, but significant happiness, if not joy. Try it sometime.

Keys to Happiness - Find Little Pleasures

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither,
but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate.
Thornton Wilder

It’s about enjoying who you are and what gives you pleasure. I swing/jitterbug dance every week and what gives me pleasure isn’t doing great moves a la Dancing With The Stars, but rather creating little moments of fun and joy with whomever my partner is at that time. The laughs and smiles are precious to me.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things.
Robert Brault

Whether it’s your favorite music, where you take walks or some hobby, take time to do it and enjoy it with the fullest of pleasure. You will find that your ability to “find” and “see” other things that bring you pleasure increases and that these things are all around you.

The truth is, these little pleasures are actually inside you. That’s where you’ll find the greatest happiness - inside you.

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.
Margaret Lee Runbeck

An interesting Happiness resource


They have an interesting testing center: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/testcenter.aspx (You will need to setup an account to take the tests, and create your own profile of information.)

An older article from Time Magazine about their research:



Because life is not about who you were, it is about who you are becoming.

Ha ha!

Recently a forum member privately asked me a question:

I'm now a peer counselor for students having trouble in their classes. They have OCD, bad sleeping habits, poor social skills, depression...you name it. All the symptoms talked about here associated with withdrawal. I want to tell these students so much about this, but I would get into a lot of trouble. "Hey, stop jerking off to porno, that's why you're getting a D". That wouldn't go over too well. But it would really help them. Perhaps there is as neutral site where some good personal habits are explained where this is one of them?

These 20-year old kids have no idea what is happening to them. They are depressed, stressed, compulsive, etc. And they are really bright people and want success and the good things in life as much as anyone else. How can I do this without sounding like a pervert? I am pushing social skills, sleeping habits, diet, and exercise, but they need an "overhauling" approach in the end because some of their habits are so deep.

Does anyone have a suggestion about such information?

Young Adults are especially vulnerable to Addictions in general

20 somethings can be addicted to a lot of things - not just pmo - and many of the other addiction sites or groups usually have a section that covers porn/sex. Most of the college have counseling centers, and they probably have lots of brochures on various addictions that the counselor could 'make available' without getting into trouble.

http://www.dr-bob.org/vpc/ <----- This one looks *really* useful in general. And there's a mailing list for counselors, which could be of great benefit.


Because life is not about who you were, it is about who you are becoming.

Is it possible to be cynical

Is it possible to be cynical but happy? I tend to think of myself as a cynical optimist/realist, but I think many people interpret my cynicism as negativity...so much so that the can make me unhappy.

Some of this sounds a bit too lofty. I see that happiness is being in the moment. However, there are times to complain and improve with criticism.

I don't think cynical and

I don't think cynical and happy are mutually exclusive. One of the keys to being successful is seeing where things *can* or *will* likely go wrong, and to prepare for them, and be happy when you've avoided serious issues. This is what project managers do all the time.

There are times when we miss the forest for the trees, because the tree needs our full cynical, problem solving attention.


Because life is not about who you were, it is about who you are becoming.