Being on Pause

Submitted by Quizure on
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My partner and I have noticed what we think is an effect of karezza that's become consistently reproducible.

If we are regularly engaging in Karezza (every two or three days, with the occasional twice in one day or every day on the weekends) we have found that even though I'm not horny, not needy, not craving orgasm or sex, I am in effect just on "pause" - and what I mean by this is that those delicious warm melting tingly feelings (that make you go mmmm, ahhh, and ohhhh ) that used to take a while to turn on (through kissing, caressing, sex), are now just there waiting, and don't need any time at all to awaken again. My breasts, ears and inner wrists are like 'off pause' buttons. We've especially noticed it with my wrists because it's something you can stroke skin to skin, in public, without anyone taking notice. So it's not like it's just something that's there if we are home alone, or in bed. I can be off pause in a sports bar, with a bunch of TVs blaring the current NFL game with just a few finger tips of a caress. Missing Karezza for an extra day or two, or having an orgasm seems to dull it, or turn it off for awhile.

It's really amazing, but I don't know what to call it. :?


Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain


I don't know either,

but we also notice it. Bonding behaviors are a key element obviously, but sex plays an important role, too. Whatever it is, it's lovely to feel sensitive to each other's touch, and to feel like lovemaking continues outside the bedroom somehow.

It's great having your reports.

And I'm goofy about Mark Twain. Thanks!

I wonder if it's just his

I wonder if it's just his touch I'm sensitive in this way to, or would any one's touch set me off? I don't get touched by other people that way. I know who I could ask, though, to try - next time I see her, I will. She'll understand, and won't think I'm wacko for asking.

Mark Twain's autobiography should be out soon:
Amazon is showing November 15th for the 1st of the 3 volumes. I've already pre-ordered for delivery to my Kindle.



It is so wonderful to hear what you are saying here. Not only is it just what we experience as well, but to hear you and your mate discovering the same thing we have, is very affirming. We went so long without anyone else to share our experience with and compare notes. We kind of wondered if we were on some tangent or off track. Sometimes no matter how much what you are doing feels right the support and confirmation from others makes a huge difference.

So, yes yes, what you say is so right there and I love the way you say it, "being on pause". Thats so descriptive, like the experience is always there in arms reach, ready to ignite. What a joy to hear how you and your partner are flowering with karezza.

I am positive that without

I am positive that without this site, I would have given up this Karezza thing as another "nut case theory".

We still consider ourselves beginners - we're not orgasm free, in fact, we're currently having just as many orgasms a month as we did before Karezza (which was only averaging 2 to 3 a month), but we are experiencing great benefits from the all the daily extended contact and frequent Karezza. So far the longest period we've gone without an orgasm is 34 days. But once I got to 30 something days, I realized that instead of having orgasm as a 'goal', I was thinking in terms of *not* having an orgasm as a goal. (That would be easy - just don't have sex at all, or only connect for 1 minute!) DOH! :O

Having said that, we noticed the pause effect really strongly at 30 days without orgasm. I had noticed that super-sensitive feeling when we were snuggling after Karezza in the previous months, but I'm pretty sure it was fading during the day - although I did note that I was more sensitive to the skin tingling I get from some music.


A thoroughly beautiful woman and a thoroughly homely woman are creations which I love to gaze upon, and which I cannot tire of gazing upon, for each is perfect in her own line. Mark Twain


Your experience reads like a page right out of our early experience. We started going from a week without orgasm to a couple weeks. We'd work with that for a while and then make it to a month. From a month to two months and so on. The longer it would go between the more we would notice shifts in our energy and behavior, just like you are. Its a very organic process that has its own flow, like a membrane where the boundaries continue to move further and further out. There's all this subtle energy you begin to tap into and after a while it doesnt even feel so subtle but kind of ever present.

Its wonderful to read your blossoming. Being a support to you and others on this journey makes up for all the time we were by ourselves, feeling our way in the dark.

I do think organic is the

I do think organic is the right way to identify it. We can only tend it like a gardener, but we can't actually make anything bear fruit. It just has to happen it's own time. I keep expecting Yoda to pop up with some Yoda-ism. "Do, or do not. There is no try." So we just do. And the juicy fruits just grow for us to enjoy somewhere down the line.

I saw Starwars 12 times in the first month it was out!



That reminds me of a story a European friend once recounted about a man she had sex with (while on a trip). She told be the story because he seemed to be a natural karezza lover, which she knew nothing about at the time.

Anyway, during their lengthy, very affectionate encounters he would say to her, "my ears are growing." Smile I think he meant he was experiencing some kind of expanded state, because she said his ears didn't appear to change size.

Still, there may have been a hint of Yoda to him. Wink