Hi everyone, thanks for this site. It is really encouraging to read and learn from some of the experiences others have had.
I will try to be as coherent as possible when I describe my situation. I believe that it is a complicated mess, though I may be wrong. I am a 27 year old gay male and I have a strong belief that I have not developed very healthy sexual behaviour in my lifetime since coming out (around age 20). I feel like the ease of internet use to meet men or masturbate to porn has impacted my understanding of sex so much that I feel lost when given the opportunity to have a rewarding and enriching sexual relationship. Recently, the longest relationship I'd ever had ended. I was in love with him, but I was unable during the entire relationship to really feel that sex lust that I feel in other sexual encounters. If I think about it, I rarely feel that sex lust with re-occurring partners. I usually only am extremely excited about sex when it is with someone new and I barely know them, or their bodies. Furthermore, I have a lot of trouble with cumming with my partners and this has been since day one. I have only cummed with another person 6 times, though I've had sex plenty. When I am alone, cumming is not a problem. I watch porn a lot to achieve this. My fear is that I am not helping myself get over this retarded ejaculation problem with my addiction to porn continuing the way it does. Furthermore, I feel I am unable to get closer to people due to a variety of control issues that I can't seem to get over or identify their origins. The ending of my most recent relationship was my fault because I didn't want to share my body with my partner. I need help in identifying steps towards a healthier sexuality where I am comfortable in my skin, I can begin to bottom, I can cum with my partner,