100 days of sexual energy cultivation

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This is the official blog for my challenge:

100 days of sexual energy cultivation and healthy/productive activities

I will post and report here everyday and if I finish the 100 days then I will give myself a special reward.

My strategy is simple: It is based on the fact that pleasure does not equal happiness. I will use awareness and mindfulness to catch the urges and erotic thoughts as soon as they arrive. Once I become aware of them, I will ask myself "Will this bring me happiness?". The answer will be NO and then I will refocus my mind on something healthy and productive, like doing exercise or playing the guitar.

Awareness -> Will this bring me happiness? -> Refocus

and

If the urge is too strong -> Engage in physical activity

Now I am going to list the benefits of this challenge so that I don't forget them.

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Benefits of quitting porn:
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- I will no longer depend on extreme visual stimulation in order to achieve a strong erection
- I will have a lot more time for productive activities
- Laziness and depression will decrease substantially
- I will again enjoy the little details and pleasures of life, such as interacting with other people or just going for a walk
- I will become aroused by real women again

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Benefits of quitting prostitutes:
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- I will save a lot of money
- I will stop prolonging the need for finding a real girlfriend
- I will save small frustrations like spending a lot of money on mediocre sessions
- I will learn real intimacy with real women
- I will force myself to find a girlfriend

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Benefits of quitting masturbation:
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- I will conserve sexual energy for real sex encounters, this way I can achieve strong erections
- I will have way more energy and motivation to do productive and healthy activities

That's it!

Let the challenge begin!

~ The Underdog

Comments

Good luck. I'd join, but I

Good luck. Your strategy seems good. I'd join, but I don't want to focus on a set time frame and feel down if I don't make it. It's enough work for me taking it day by day.

Maybe we should have something analogous to those weight loss goal graphics they use on some sites. Or maybe it can be the rational brain stuffing the old brain back in the box.

Over (not under) dog

This is by FAR the best strategy I have seen to attain improvement. Your logic and "HOW" to accomplish what you want is very well done. Most on this site merely begin with sheer willpower--and often fail. You have a great plan.

I am betting on your success.

David

btw, because you have such a fascinating plan, I eagerly volunteer to be a "support mechanism" for you should you need one.

3% accomplished

I am having a lot of trouble letting go of prostitutes though.

Somehow the reasons for quitting prostitutes are not as strong as the reasons for quitting porn.

I guess sex with a very hot prostitute will be my reward if I finish this challenge.

@ David: Thanks a lot man! It is a good strategy Wink

lol

"If I can go a hundred days without masturbating I'll go have sex with a prostitute?"

I also think you are onto something good when you think through what to do when you get the inevitable urge to go back to the old ways.

Be careful with rewards. I

Be careful with rewards. I experimented with this. Each day that I didn't turn to PMO, I'd treat myself to something and otherwise not. It didn't work. It just forced the addict brain to choose one reward over another instead of letting go entirely. Your brain might value that prostitute enough to wait it out and that might hurt your progress. Or the other way around in which case you might not get get to the 100 days.

Prostitutes were tough for

Prostitutes were tough for me too. I tried it about 6 months ago during a relapse and it magically seemed to lose its appeal. Im noticing the same with porn too, I think this recovery thing takes a life of its own. Hang in there and it will work out. In the same spontaneous way we became addicted, we seem to recover in a similar way. Its pretty mysterious and awesome.

Courage is knowing what not to fear.
-Plato

Great

Thanks for the support!

About the reward, who knows, maybe by the time I finish this challenge I no longer feel the urge to visit prostitutes.

I have to keep the door open for them though. I don't feel ready to quit yet.

Hey

Sorry for the lack of creativity but im copying your challenge. I like having goals set by someone else and achieving them. The time is about noon and tomorrow at noon, if im successful is 1 day in the books. Good luck with your goal

Crash, bang

Underdog you have inspired me to get back into the fray, want to start the count with you, on day two after a long binge, tail very much between the legs.
Crash banged out of this website some time ago with depression over bereavement, sickness in family, hitting middle age with no kids, aspiring to a spitual life but constantly veering between a noble and primitive self.

I like the concise style you present. In similar fashion-

Day two only and i am watching every female that moves
Brain trying to trick me back by implanting fantasies of past encounters
How can anything match that brief moment of oblivion?
Joy in walking, exercise, meditiation- i do love them all and do them everyday but still the pull

Talking since 8 and so decades on, so 100 days is Everest without oxygen- but will give it try

Thanks Marnia

for the reminder, feels good to be back on board struggling, although that initial success of 28 days first time since a child sowed a seed of recovery.

Sharing this deeply buried secret is a relief, joining the count with fellow noble aspirants a joy

LTW

Yes, a taste of clarity

and control seems to bring a lot of people back to the effort. That's what's so inspiring about this forum: watching people learn to operate themselves better, regardless of setbacks or progress. Just the knowledge that free will plus knowledge about the brain enables choices is empowering. And empowered men are hot. Wink

Hi there

Underdog, thanks for the challenge, next one is in. I have got somehow competitive mind, so i think this could work for me. I am trying to be PMO free for many years, am 25 now, yet i haven't succeed. One month ago i found this and similar sites and it helped a lot, since i learned about physiology behind. In that time i gave up masturbation, but still have problem with occasional look at porn.. i can stop without escalation after few minutes, nevertheless my brain still have this connection and considers that as best escape from any flaw. So i need to stop alltogether.
I accept the call and join the count. Hope you don't mind when i start with day 3 for better synchronization. Looking forward for notes and keeping the count from all of you. I will try to share the marks daily, except days when i am without connection to net.
Good luck. 2165

day 4-observations

Thursday here-day 4 for me- going for a jog as at home by self after work and a critical time- you know what I mean

A lot of head down whilst walking today- i know its not the solution and chickening out to an extent, but we all know from this site that the first seven days are crucial. 7 is my first benchmark but looking up at Everest and 100 days worth of effort and application

With all good wishes to fellow counters and journeyers towards those 100 days.

LTW

OK, I have to ask...

did you try masturbating without porn, or did you go for the porn goodies? Wink You don't have to answer, but do notice, so that if you ever try the *other* way, you can see if you feel less/more fallout.

*big hug*

I

Didn't go for the porn :D, felt much better without it. I'll keep counting till i get through this !

Day 6- just

Less than an hour to get to day 7, but thinking about PM for much of the day, even with exercise, watching sport, keeping busy.
Found an hour to myself and skimmed over a few porn sites, but did nothing else. Probably conned myself into it, but thought that by resisting i could lose take some of the potency / power away.
Anyway, felt quite elated after having viewed and yet done nothing, sort of 'so whats the big deal ?'

The images may come back to haunt me but its nearly day 7 and i 'm hanging on in there, safe in the knowledge that in a world addicted to the dopamine hit in various forms, this is a noble path

LTW

9%

I'm currently on day 9 and the most obvious benefits I have gotten are: way more energy and overall better mood. I don't feel lazy or depressed at all. This is very good.

However, I've been fantasizing about shemales A LOT lately. It's getting out of control and these fantasies are very hard to avoid.

What worries me is that I only fantasize about shemales, not regular women.

What should I do? How can I handle this?

I have tried refocusing my mind on something else, but the problem is that fantasizing itself gives my brain some kind of relief, like it releases dopamine or something. It feels good to fantasize.

Any advice?

Of course

it feels good to fantasize. And the more you do it, the more you'll WANT to do it. It's a dopamine fix, as is orgasm itself. You're brain is substituting one for the other. Did you read the post of the guy who cut out masturbation, but is watching more and more porn? http://www.reuniting.info/node/4835

Our brains are set up to read any dopamine rush as an indication that something is REALLY valuable...so they numb our satisfaction potential slightly, so we go back for more. Have you read this article, Underdog? http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201010/protect...

Now you have to decide whether you want to stay hooked to fantasies, or worry about that later. Wink

Ok

I just realized that I've been fighting against these shemale fantasies, instead of just accepting them.

From now on, I'll just accept them and observe them mindfully, and they will go away.

If I want to restore my brain to normal then I have to stop indulging in fantasies or browsing online escort sites.

I guess I'll have to deal with all the withdrawal symptoms that come with this.

I'll keep everyone updated.

Holy crap

I was SO CLOSE of losing today!!!

Took a quick peek at a porn site and felt a big rush of dopamine but then I remembered this thread and didn't want to let you all down.

Stay strong

You are right around the time when the lizard brain try's everything in it's arsenal to get the fix it wants. You went this far...now just got to let your body go back to the calmer state. I feel heightened sexual desire for days after a porn relapse. Good luck man.

11%

By the way how do you all stay updated about my blog?

Is there a way to get notified if there is a new comment or something? Or do you browse all the blog pages until you get to this one?

When we're signed in, new

When we're signed in, new posts are at the top and show as new. When we click the thread link, there is box around the new post and the page jumps there. If there are scattered new posts, we have to scroll. You don't see any of that on your end?

hi underdog, keep on the

hi underdog, keep on the good track. this thread without you woudn't be, what is meant to be. I was on the holiday in beutiful country, without web, so it was quite simple to withstand. When i came home i had similar relapse and i realised how just few pictures affects me. its very usefull to be clear completely. Be strong, we have got 1/10 behind us!!! :D

Perhaps you should just

Perhaps you should just continue. When you get to 100, you can go extra days so it is a true 100 days. The concept of failure and starting over is a cycle too. Why continue that when you can just move forward?

Yeah

You're probably right.

I will continue counting towards 100. I guess it will not be 100 days of complete abstinence but rather 100 days of reducing masturbation and cultivating sexual energy the most I can.

I like the idea :D

You sound better just saying

You sound better just saying that. You leave behind the other extreme and the negative cycle and now you can find your own middle which for now is at least once in a 100 days. I think the fact that we slip up at different times is playing to our minds weakness. Each day is the previous day plus one. It doesn't really matter how perfect that day was because there is no destination.

Day 12

Uf, some weird time, i slipped yeasterday.. PM without O. It was really bad day. Nevertheless Underdog, keep the count. Its no good get into recycling, rather cultivating and perfecting. We don't need to stay clear for 100 or more days. Important is be aware and control our thoughts now, in this and every present moment.