Submitted by dailykarezza on
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Hi everyone,

Dr stockham said in her teachings about karezza that "fountain that fills a basin slowly, drop by drop. The build-up of sexual desire, she believed, continued day by day, filling the basin until it overflowed naturally. The result of the basin overflowing gently is orgasm"

What does she mean by "result of overflowing gently is orgasm"

I think most

karezza teachers are a bit ambiguous. Even if there are often benefits from sidestepping orgasm, creating fear of orgasm isn't helpful. Some people then convince themselves it's "forbidden," which can turn it into a very exciting, arousing phenomenon. So most karezza teachers focus on the benefits. That's an easier sell, but to my mind, it's easier to see the benefits if one also understands that intense sexual arousal can naturally produce neurochemical ripples that aren't so beneficial.

I don't remember seeing this phrase, but I haven't read all of her books - nor do I have a perfect memory. Wink Which book is it in? My thought is that it's her way of saying that one doesn't "try" for orgasm. If it overflows, it overflows. Big deal. Smile As people here have remarked, an orgasm that just happens inadvertently seems to cause fewer neurochemical ripples than an orgasm they try for. This makes sense because striving seems to equate with dopamine rising. And dopamine ripples appear to be the most problematic in terms of creating the feelings that lead to unwanted perception shifts between mates.

In Karezza: Etihics of Marriage Stockham is quite clear that ideally neither partner "reaches the crisis." But I don't get the sense that she is trying to frighten anyone. She's just making the point that going over the edge won't do them any good and isn't necessary for contented, sustainable union.

I think she wrote this book (her main treatise on karezza) near the end of her career, and so I'm curious to know when she wrote your quotation. I know my own thinking has evolved regarding karezza, so hers probably did too.

Here are some quotations from Karezza: Etihics of Marriage.

With Karezza, satiety is never known, and the married are never less than lovers; each day reveals new delights….The common daily sarcasms of married people are at an end, the unseemly quarrels have no beginnings and the divorce courts are cheated of their records.

Karezza so consummates marriage that through the power of will, and loving thoughts, the crisis is not reached, but a complete control by both husband and wife is maintained throughout the entire relations, a conscious conservation of creative energy….One writer called it Male Continence, but it is no more male than female….

Thanks for posting. I look forward to hearing more.