Submitted by EnchantingGhost on
Printer-friendly version

Firstly, I should say that I don't have much of an understanding of the practice of Karezza. I'm a 20 year old virgin who has been abstaining from pmo for over a month now with the goal of stopping my dependency on porn and masturbation, but orgasm in a loving relationship with a partner I've always accepted and seen as something I'm working towards.

I just wanted to ask the forum users about the problem of premature ejaculation. It's common knowledge that excessive masturbation can lead to erectile disfunction and premature ejaculation, but what about orgasm after abstaining for a significant period of time? The idea of the problem has been something that has always played on my mind and I, during my addiction, even read some sites suggest that to prevent the problem you should practice by masturbating (A particularly gross out scene in the film Something About Mary suggests something similar!), and its articles like this that helped perpetuate my overmasturbation. (Though it should be emphasised I don't intend to go back to masturbation for this purpose.)

I guess the common worry, as someone who has never had sex, before is to not satisfy a partner or worse to come across as selfish. So I was wondering if anybody on the forum could shed any light on this? Bearing in mind I'm open to practices like karezza, just largely ignorant of them!

Thank you,

EnchantingGhost

You'll be ready if you read TSM

There is a little book that came out in the early 70's called The Sensuous Man and I have seen it in the sex section of a book store a few years ago. Many of the things you are worried about are covered in this book. Foremost, it will show you how to pleasure a woman in so many ways that have nothing to do with your penis that PE won't be your concern. Remember, the sensuous man makes love to a woman, he doesn't just screw her. You will learn from this handy little guide that your penis may be great for making babies but not really the best tool for female pleasure. This book taught me about female erogenous zones and pointed out that your brain is your biggest sex organ. (I was only 14 when I read it but didn't get to use the info until I was 20) When you come to the point where you realize that pleasuring her to multiple orgasms makes you feel more fabulous than anything and makes her beg for you, you'll have come a long way from the porn world you were trapped in. Very important, this book showed me you never have to force yourself on a woman and you don't have to mess around with married women. Plenty of sensuous women will love you. -Titan

Thanks for the

Thanks for the recommendation Titan, I'm going to see if I can get myself a copy. I think think something like this would definately boost my sexual confidence. So cheers for the tip off.

EnchantingGhost

No one wants to admit it

But it is a vicious circle....... too much masturbation.....premature ejaculation......go a month or more without ejaculation.....and premature ejaculation.

This has definately happened to me.

i'll go the other way

I will recommend loving bonding behaviors with a girl first and then sex without orgasm. You will be always ready and always accommodating with your penis. By being very present and showing a girl how to be very present with you, you can have fantastic sex and satisfy your partner without premature ejaculation. Karezza is sex while relaxing and when you are relaxing you won't just ejaculate early.

You can always decide to ejaculate, or you can learn from there how to orgasm without ejaculation.

Premature ejaculation

There's no way to know if you have premature ejaculation until you have sex.

The first time I had sex I was pounding and pounding for like 25 minutes and was almost unable to come. I finally came because she started talking dirty to me and that somehow triggered my orgasm.

If you have been edging on porn, which means watching porn for hours and finding the "perfect" scene to get off, then I can almost guarantee that you will not suffer from premature ejaculation, because real sex will not be stimulating enough.

This

If you have been edging on porn, which means watching porn for hours and finding the "perfect" scene to get off, then I can almost guarantee that you will not suffer from premature ejaculation, because real sex will not be stimulating enough.

[bigsmile]

Oh and by the way

Forgot to say that based on my experience, abstaining from PMO do not significantly increase the likelihood of suffering from premature ejaculation. I actually feel more in control when I have sex after periods of abstinence.

It varies from person to person. I wouldn't worry about it. And remember that the first time you have sex is almost always a mediocre experience.

Dear EnchantingGhost

I understand your concerns about premature ejaculation. In my opinion this is nothing that can be prevented by excessive masturbation or even watching pornography. This only puts more pressure on you and desensitizes you to a point where you won't be aroused at all anymore. Now think about it: Would a woman prefer a man who can not get aroused at all or one that is so aroused by her that he is a little trigger happy? :)

In my experience, it was truly difficult to maintain control after abstaining from orgasm for months at a time. However, there are very understanding women out there and thanks to being more in balance and more easily aroused, I was able to go at it again after a short break. If that doesn't work out for you, just take it slow and find other ways to please your lady friends. You are NOT dependent and your erection!

Are you sure you're not

Are you sure you're not mixing up premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is usually the result of being oversensitive in some way. Delayed ejaculation is the opposite: not being able to orgasm as a result of being desentisized.

My experience is that all the over-masturbation caused delayed ejaculation for me. So far it seems that when rebooting for 3-4 weeks, sensitivity greatly increases again. Some of the quickest orgasms did I achieve while rebooting (and relapsing). I haven't tried sex yet, so far my reboot-experiences are only limited to masturbation.

If you actually are referring to premature ejaculation, the practises written in the book "The multi-orgasmic man" can be interesting. There are some techniques that allow you to prevent ejaculation while creating a small orgasm sensation. After a very short downtime (15-30 seconds) you can go again.