Day 3 with a Chastity Device

Submitted by Parky on
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The discussion of chastity devices has been about their use in a relationship. Has anyone thought of using them solo to help regain balance?

For me, masturbation always happens in bed early in the morning when I'm still in that dreamy semi-asleep state. The problem is that my will-power and conscious control are greatly diminished in this state. I find it practically impossible to stop myself rolling over and... you know the rest.

Last week I ordered a cb-3000 male chastity device. It arrived on wednesday and I've worn it in bed every night since, so currently I'm on day 3. I keep the key in the bathroom which is a few rooms away. I'm thinking that if my will-power isn't strong enough to stop me from masturbating, it also isn't strong enough to get myself out of bed, go to the bathroom and unlock. So far it has worked like a dream. I awaken aroused but can do NOTHING about it (everything is encased in hard plastic), roll over and go back to sleep or get up for breakfast and a shower. The device even comes with optional spiky cuff rings that make it quite painful to be aroused.

I don't intend to use the device permanently, although it might end up necessary. Hopefully I can use it as a tool to make relapsing more difficult until my brain has balanced (with the help of the 4 hours cuddling I did today :)). Based on my experiences so far, I recommend trying this approach. There are so many ways it could be used: Wear it all the time and unlock yourself for daily washing, lock yourself up and give a trusted friend the key saying "give me the key back in 1 month", wear the device only in anticipation of the time of day or situation which is tempting, etc. The possibilities are endless.

I'll update my status each day on this thread, let's see how far I get!

I guess I'm a little naive....

I had no idea such a device even existed. I actually have been chuckling about that fact (that I didn't know as well as that it exists). I say whatever works is great. Ultimately, all of us ALWAYS have 'the key' to controlling our lives. Your decision to buy this and handle your early AM arousal in this way is really quite impressive. That is determination right there.

Like Marnia, I would be a bit concerned about not having immediate access at all times. You just never know what could come up (okay, that was unintentional :) ). I wouldn't feel safe not being able to take this device off when I wanted to. I had a friend that worked at a surgical center in Las Vegas for many years. You wouldn't believe the stories he had about some unbelievable situations people got themselves and their genitals into. [schock] Remember, safety first!!!

DAY 5

Yeah, I won't actually give the key away, it was just an idea. I'm putting it on every night and taking it off every morning.

Anyway, I'm now on DAY 5 and feeling ok. I find that it's disturbing my sleep patterns a bit so I'm a bit groggy, but apart from that everything is good.

Parky

Good job on the CB3000. I own that device along with the CB6000S.

The device has been very helpful for me and I have been using one off and on for quite some time now. If you have any specific questions, maybe I can be of some help. (Lot of trial and error experience on my part)

I can't tell you how much the CB has helped me regarding masturbation.

David

love the idea but pricey

$150 is a little rich for my blood. Anyone else have a makeshift solution for when I'm asleep? Self-discipline as worked thusfar, but I have a feeling it gets more difficult the more days of abstinence you've got - J

DAY 6

Still a bit groggy but going well. Going out with my friend for dinner and then to a 3 hour choir practice and probably drinks after, so I'll focus on cuddling if I can fit some in and making deep connected eye contact with everyone I talk to.

Yes Marnia, I hope that I'll be able to discard the device once my brain has rewired, and yes, I have a new gf. I have my doubts if we are right for each other but I figure, what the heck, the only way to find out is to jump in. We live close to each other, study at the same university, and sing in choirs with each other at least three times a week so there is plenty of opportunity for bonding. BTW, singing in choirs is one of the most rewarding balancing activities and I would recommend it to everyone. There is nothing like the feeling of singing your part in sync and in (literal) harmony with a group of people. Some of my closest friendships have developed through singing and drumming.

freedom, the device is comfortable but the first few nights were a bit weird - it took a bit of experimenting until I had found the sizes of locking ring and spacers that felt comfortable. The first night I was freaked that it was going to cut the circulation to my balls, but it was all fine and now I find that a slightly tighter fit actually gives my balls more space to hang.

Cheers :)

I have respect for you to go

I have respect for you to go so far to handle your most weakest moments and get out of the roughest time, but it still sounds a bit weird to me lol. All the best of luck to you, i read that it helps you so that is good :)

Congrats!

Good job on Day 7. I am on 10 with my chastity device. (CB6000S) I started on Nov. 1st. Your success is encouraging.

David

oops DAY 0

Slipped up this morning but I'm not that worried. I had my new gf with me for the night and wasn't wearing the device in bed with her, so it wasn't masturbation, and we weren't pushing for orgasm - it just kind of happened by itself. I kept myself as relaxed as possible so it wasn't intense at all, in fact, I don't have any of the usual post orgasm symptoms.

That's good to hear

See what you notice over the next few days. Often people here report that an orgasm they don't "try" for creates much less fallout.

I'm really happy to hear about that new girlfriend. Smile

Do you

notice less fallout with a partner? There are some good reasons it should be less of a problem (at least until you really overdo it).

DAY 4

Yes Marnia, I definitely notice less fallout with a partner. When I masturbate to orgasm in the morning my head is foggy for the first half of the day - when I walk down to my university everything seems distant and not quite real, it's like I'm an observer stuck in my head looking out through frosted glass. When I think about it, the last few orgasms I've had with my partner didn't really have any effect - I felt pretty much normal apart from a short period of post-orgasm drowsiness.

having someone you care for

having someone you care for is a huge help in this arena and does seem to make the hangover greatly sublimated. dont worry about slipping parky, recognizing it is the first part of understanding it. i have been trying to avoid orgasm while sexually involved and its not easy. i have slipped many times since i first started last winter (while masturbating) and the fact is we are human. i have had to accept my slip ups and move on from there (where i was beating myself up internally for a little bit) but i continue to strive forward.
it is all so very worth it

stay strong!

DAY 0

Thankyou for that carlton. It is especially encouraging since I slipped again last night!

In a strange way it's annoying that I got a girlfriend just when I bought the chastity device. I was looking forward to staying orgasm free for a lengthy time with the help of the device but then a lovely girl comes along and everything goes to pot.

The funny thing is, I'm not orgasming with her because we're going for it or really heating each other up, but because I'm quite sensitive down below and have a bit of a premature ejaculation issue. Just the weight of her lying on top of me can bring me to orgasm if I'm in the mood.

Has anyone found that cutting down on masturbation and orgasm helped premature ejaculation?

The Daoists

say that premature ejaculation is due to too much loss of energy, but who knows?

Is she open to sex without much movement? Could you experiment with scissors position for a bit, and just make your joining a meditation? I think that once you get past your worry, you'll be pleased with your growing control and can get a bit more adventurous. Smile

Keep in mind that your sweetheart isn't with you for your erections...believe me!

yes definitely! at least it

yes definitely! at least it helps you understand it.
because of my porn addiction i was getting to the point where i would be so close to cumming just from being near a vagina, while not even fully erect. now i can sometimes recognize the falls before i topple over them. its still not every time, but going slow, with less movement ( like marnia said) will help relax you to the point where you dont feel so over stimulated. and once youve recognized the falls a few times in one session, it feels like it can then go on forever! quitting masturbating was the best thing i ever did for my sex life. i still have a lot to learn but ive noticed some very positive things in regards to premature ejaculation.

but dont confuse something wonderful, like being sensitive, with something that society has deemed unacceptable, like cumming early. they are very similar but theres a good way to look at things and then theres a shit way to look at things.

be proud of your sensitivity and be proud of what youre learning

sensitivity point

I have been celibate for close to 2 years (have refrained from masturbating almost 1 year) just when it seemed impossible to stick at it,
because of increased horniness my friend suggested I do yoga. At first the yoga only made the horniness increase (I read on the internet that this
is what happens at first) I kept up the yoga and sure enough it gave me increadible control (like a true miracle). I just wonder if you might have an
explanation for me how this works, thanks I hope I posted this in the right spot (new at this)

It would be nice

to know the reason. Here's my theory: the yoga improves brain balance, as do meditation, exercise, socializing, karezza, selfless service and many other practices. With improved balance comes a decrease in cravings.

This is a fine spot to post, and thanks for sharing your insights. Very interesting.

It would be nice

Thanks for your answer it makes sense, just like all the other wonderful answers you have sent to people. You have amazing knowledge on all this
increadible stuff. Here is another question for you Marnia, just how does celibacy increase sensitivity? Ok I will go all out now- I once read that women should shift focus away from the clitoris and that this will increase sensetivity to the vagina. Another thing I read said something to the effect
that women who masturbate with their clitoris are like little boys and to be a mature woman you must shift sensitivity to the vagina. Have you heard
anything about this? Do you know if Tantric celibacy requires a woman to never even touch her clitoris? What is the deal with this "edgeing" I mean I know what it means but not sure if in Tantra you are meant to masturbate to the edge to increase sexual energy and then redirect it. Or is one not meant to masturbate at all? That's rather quite a few questions I must hold back I could ask another 100 right now, I think it's the excitment
of finally being able to ask these questions to someone with your knowledge

There's plenty more for all of us to learn

Smile

You're right that a lot of tantra is about getting close to the edge. We think that's unlikely to lead to lasting satisfaction, simply because it pumps up the dopamine, which may lead to a drug-like altered state, but which also tends to set off a neurochemical roller coaster over time. Tantra was originally not a path to relationship-as-spiritual-vehicle. Tantra was a spiritual path with two forks, both of which were really about solo spiritual practice. One path was for celibates...with no sex at all. The other was for people who *occasionally* used sex as a ritual...often having sex with other people's wives. It was intensely exciting, in part because it was forbidden. It was, in effect, using sex as a drug to pump up the neurochemicals that produce an altered state.

That said, there's a very gentle form of tantra, which is very close to the "karezza" that we recommend at this site. You can read about it here:

http://www.reuniting.info/taxonomy/term/2116
http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/diana_richardson_tantra

In my case it was true that my vagina became more sensitive as I drifted away from clitoral stimulation, but I have no idea what other factors were at work. I also drifted away from going for orgasm during that time.

My thought is that the real issue may be that as we stop hammering our brains with the intense neurochemical stimulation of frequent, forced orgasm, a lot of things become more sensitive. (This is also what we see in porn users who quit.) I say this because not long ago on another forum I saw a sexology professor asking other professors if they knew of any research on women and vibrators. Apparently women who use vibrators a lot report that their clitorises become less sensitive. I suspect that they just aren't realizing that their vaginas are also becoming less sensitive...because they can always, at least for the time being, force orgasm with more vibrator action.

The real issue is probably that their BRAINS are becoming less responsive to pleasure (at least until they give 'em a rest Smile ).

It's not that "celibacy" increases sensitivity. It's that less intense stimulation allows the brain to return to normal sensitivity/sexual responsiveness. No need to be celibate to achieve that! Wink Karezza, or the kind of tantra mentioned above, will achieve the same goal.

While you're on your own, the situation is more challenging. You might look into the solo practices on the wiki. They involved drawing up the sexual energy and circulating it. Here's an article about it that I put together: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/200909/sexual-...

Brain it is. My penis seems

Brain it is. My penis seems more sensitive, but so does all my skin. I've noticed that sensitivity is better distributed along my penis. It feels nicer just to put a hand anywhere on myself or even to just put my hands together. I enjoy feeling the simultaneous touch from both sets of nerves...hands plus wherever I touch. It can even be a feel good distraction. For fun, imagine your hand is another's so you can't feel your hand nerves and feel only the touch on the other part of your skin.

DAY 1

Hi Marnia,

When the daoists say that premature ejaculation is due to too much loss of energy what do they mean by that? - too much loss during sexual activities or that there is some kind of energy leak in your life that causes pe?

For them, it's a question of "ching" strength

Here's what Douglas Wile wrote in his analysis of the ancient Daoist texts he translated. (From Art of the Bedchamber, pp. 6-7)

Fourth, it was observed that ejaculation, although depleting physical reserves, has the opposite effect on sexual desire. After an immediate postcoital letdown, there is a rapid psychological rebound and an intensification of erotic interest. [IN OTHER WORDS THEY NOTICED THE BINGE PHENOMENON, WHICH WE THINK IS A CONSEQUENCE OF REDUCED SENSITIVITY TO DOPAMINE.] This sexual law of inertia, the tendency of a body in motion to remain in motion, or sexual addiction, is best expressed in the traditional medical metaphor of fire unchecked by water...and the Taoist aphorism, "when the ching is full one is free of lustful thoughts." It was noticed that premature ejaculation, spermatorrhea [distress after orgasm] and nocturnal emissions were associated not with high level of sexual energy but with deficiency, often resulting from what the Classic of Su Nu calls, "expenditure without restraint." Thus sexual prowess came to be defined not as the ability to expend semen but to save it. Certain herbs, yogic practices, and coitus reservatus itself can all contribute to "strengthening and stabilizing the ching."

morning masturbations

Just a comment... the reason that a lot of men desire sex so early in the morning is that a man's testosterone is at it's peak at 5-7am.
If you can just wait a bit after, the desire/need might not be so strong.

Good luck kicking the habit!

DAY 3

Jrenee, that's exactly why I'm using the device - to help myself get through the dangerous morning phase. I didn't realise there was also a spike of testosterone involved, I thought it was just a personal habit.

I'm not sure why we got that

I'm not sure why we got that testosterone spike then (although I bet if we put Marnia and Gary up to it, those biological detectives would find out).
My recommendation, though, given that fact, would be to wake up in the morning with the intention of starting the day, and be intentional about what you want to do with your waking hours. Do you want to lie in bed and deplete your energy, or do you want to get out and socialize with humans and work efficiently?

Since masturbation pulls your energy into your body, and causes hormone fluctuations, you may want to start asking yourself if this is what you are committed to in such a short life. Where you want your energy to be focused on a day to day basis. Chastity belts and such are an interesting way to stop masturbating. But I wonder what would happened if - instead of focusing on stopping masturbation - the focus was on what you want to accomplish with your day or with your life?

DAY 4

Indeed, I did't wear the device last night because I was with my gf :)

I've always noticed that if I get out of bed earlier (7am rather than 1030am) I seem to attack the day with more drive and energy, and I get far more work done. The morning testosterone spike might be the reason this happens. So we could maybe predict that to create maximum drive in life, the ideal time to get up would be a little before the peak around 6am.

http://www.urologycentre.com.sg/testosterone%20level.gif

DAY 6

After a day of singing, good food, good company and my girlfriend sleeping over last night I awoke today with energy and a clear head.

After reading the benefits of omega 3 fats I've started mega-dosing on a combination of fish oil, cod liver oil, and flax seed oil. It was reported on this forum that post orgasmic syndromes disappeared when taking cod liver oil. I've seen other reports of better brain functioning (there is good scientific theory and research behind this) and better sleep when taking omega 3 supplements. Either way, high quality fats seem to be especially important for brain health so I'm trying to increase the amount I take in my diet to aid in brain balancing - the problems we discuss at reuniting originate in the brain, not the genitals.

Fish oil

I agree with you I am doing the same crazy about the fish oil I also drink cold pressed olive leaf extract 10-15mls a day it's good for a range of different things.

fish oils

all these oils are amazing, yes. Cold pressed - Yes!
my thoughts as a health care practitioner (I'm an acupuncturist) is to not take flax seed as a man, as it is linked to prostate cancer.
So stick with the mega doses of fish oil and other oils.
minimize the flax.

Hooray for your new relationship!
:)

DAY 7

Feeling good, just finished another day of singing services at a cathedral and a few hours of passionate kissing with gf. It seems to feel yummier each time.

Even though I have orgasmed with my gf I haven't masturbated once since starting to use the chastity device. So that's 24 days masturbation free... and guess what, it was easy!! :) Sometimes self discipline needs a bit of mechanical help.

Jrenee, I have come across the flax seed - prostate cancer link. My personal opinion is that it is oxidized alpha linolenic acid (ALA) in the oil that causes problems, not the ALA itself. Flaxseed oil is incredibly sensitive to heat, light and oxygen. The important thing therefore is to find an extremely high quality fresh source and keep it refrigerated in darkness. This is easier said than done! Because of this I have tended to treat flax as an addition to the fish oils rather than as the core supplement.

Bravo!

I really like the sound of that romance. I'm glad you took a chance on her.

It's great that you found what worked for you to maneuver around a set pattern. All you needed was a little boost.

Thanks for the flax seed tip. I've read that, too. I think you're spot on.

DAY 7

DAY 7

lol, no marnia, I think I'm getting a bit better at keeping myself relaxed and stopping fertilization driven movement from creeping in. Also, when using the device at the beginning my penis became overly sensitive, I think my penis was feeling touch deprived and craved the release. That over-sensitivity is starting to fade now.

Well done

How long do you think you'll need it?

I'm really torn about whether to add this to the questions on the new site. It seems it has been just the thing in your case, but I think it takes a healthy person to use such a tool for a larger purpose in a unique situation (masturbating in one's sleep as a habitual matter). Any thoughts?

I have been thinking about this

I know it is dangerous, but I have given this some thought. :? I think, in some cases, if the intent is pure, this could be an excellent device to assist in stopping masturbation. I say that with a few caveats.

First, it will probably be arousing when first used, as it is new and different, so there will be an acclimation period where arousal may go up before it goes down.

Second, It will, sooner or later cause one to change habit patterns about playing with one's penis which can easily lead to masturbation or edging.

Third, When the urge to look at porn or to masturbate is strong, this is one more obstacle to accomplishing that goal. For one, you have to get the key, unlock the darn thing, probably clean up some, then "have your fun", clean up again, clean the device, then put it back on. If you have someone else keeping the key, that makes the above process even harder to accomplish. Sooner or later, you will realize it is just not worth the bother!

As far as intent, what I mean is in your heart and soul, you know this device is to be used to minimize stimulation and access, as a temporary training tool ONLY. If this is just a ploy to further increase arousal through chastity play, then you are simply fooling yourself and/or your partner.

Please note that I have never tried this, but I have thought about what it would be like to essentially not have access to your own penis. That would change things.... perhaps enough to assist in the the battle against porn and masturbation, given the right attitude.

Thanks, Neil

Those comments are very helpful. If I remember correctly, Parky's challenge was that he didn't even know what he was up to because he was sound asleep. I should it would be really tough to break a habit like that without some kind of...impediment. Smile

I had a wet dream last night

I had a wet dream last night when sleeping with my gf without the device. I resist the idea of going back to day 0 because I feel no after effects from the orgasm and it wasn't consciously directed at all. Previously my early morning orgasms were in a SEMI-conscious state so I was 'choosing' to masturbate, but I didn't have enough will-power to choose 'not to masturbate'. Last night I was completely asleep.

What has been others' experience - does a wet dream have the same effect as a full orgasm? Does it throw you back to day 0? I don't feel any of the usual post orgasm symptoms this morning.

Neil, you said,
[quote]First, it will probably be arousing when first used, as it is new and different, so there will be an acclimation period where arousal may go up before it goes down.[/quote]

I didn't notice this at all, although I understand how the novelty of the device could affect you that way.

You also said,
[quote]Second, It will, sooner or later cause one to change habit patterns about playing with one's penis which can easily lead to masturbation or edging.

Third, When the urge to look at porn or to masturbate is strong, this is one more obstacle to accomplishing that goal. For one, you have to get the key, unlock the darn thing, probably clean up some, then "have your fun", clean up again, clean the device, then put it back on. If you have someone else keeping the key, that makes the above process even harder to accomplish. Sooner or later, you will realize it is just not worth the bother![/quote]

You have voiced my thoughts exactly. The chastity device is a TOOL that can help you regain balance. It is not the solution to all our sexual problems, it is just a tool that can be used when appropriate.

Marnia, I really don't have any idea how long I'll need it. I don't see how it could be harmful to continue wearing the device only when alone in bed for an indefinite period of time.

Matthew

Better Sentence

Parky,

First, it may be arousing when first used, as it is new and different, so there will be an acclimation period where arousal may go up before it goes down.

I always do that! :P

Anyway, to me, your statement that it was NOT arousing lends credence to your using it as a tool only.

Best of luck in your journey.

neil

Some people

notice NO fall out after a wet dream, especially when they're in balance. Hope that will be the case with you.

Thanks for your thoughts on the device. Do you want to write up a short paragraph or two, or shall I just cobble together your thoughts? It might be a useful strategy for others. I'm trying to take every helpful tip from here and put it on the new site where people can find it. I know I won't totally succeed, but I'll keep chipping away at this task.

Also...time to start a new blog entry. This thread is getting long. Wink