Submitted by jonathan on
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Hey. I've been reading on this website for about six months, and the information written here has change my life to the positive. I have experienced the benefits that starts to appear after you have sustained from porn and masturbation for a time and the benifits are great.

This is the first day after I slipped after 10 days of substaining. Now days, I only masturbate about every 10-14 day which is way less than before I discovered this site. I masturbated at least once a day from when I was about 12-13 to now when I am at 25 years of age. So, I'm pretty pleased with that I have cut it down a pretty decent bit, but I find it very frustrating and hard getting past two weeks. What I think is more frustrating is that I only get to experience the self confidence, calmness, focus and peace of mind for a couple of days before I slip back again and have to do the whole hangover process for at least a week once again.

Yesterday I felt very good, but was lying in the bed with the laptop on my knee and felt a little bored and felt the urge to be aroused by something. So I thought I just pay a short visit to a porn-site, and five minutes later I had slipped. Today I have felt anxious, very irritated and worthless. Its just crazy what a hangover a masturbation with porn causes. I just seems to get nothing done the days after orgasm. I have not motivation whatsoever.

I wanna "reboot" my brain totally with no masturbation and no porn for eight weeks but I just cant get past two weeks. I live a social life and I know that girls in general flirt pretty much with me so I don't lack the social part. But lonely nights, with "blueballs" and restlessnes makes it very easy to slip for me. How do I get pass it? I get very horny and love-craving after about ten days.

Hmm, I'm definiately thinking about starting a relationship with someone pretty soon. And I dont think I would have any big problems finding someone to date, but I have this fix idea that I dont wanna do that before my brain is normal. I'm not comfortable with girls the first week after masturbation, but after about ten days I get very comfortable and pretty flirty and confident.

But I wanna push this longer than I have for the last half year. The good thing of this is that I do think that the first week is very easy now. In the beginning the first week was hard too.

Anyone have any tips or good input?

Thanks for sharing your "findings"

they are very helpful to everyone.

First, porn is not like orgasm with a partner, or even masturbation (without porn fantasy). It's way more extreme. It's designed to blast your brain with hit after hit of dopamine. I say this because you probably wouldn't experience such a low the next day if you skipped the porn, and simply masturbated while thinking of an affectionate, sexy encounter with one of those women who is chasing you. Smile

Internet porn masturbation isn't "just like any other act of masturbation/orgasm" in other words.

So chances are, your brain IS back to normal. Chances are, you just need to stick the to the kinds of stimulation your ancestors did. Smile If it turns out I'm wrong, you can always teach your sweethearts a gentler way of making love. (I'm happy to give you details on that.)

I'm not sure pushing yourself further while you're on your own will yield fruit. I suspect your body is urging you to find a partner. But the fact that the first week is bearable now shows that you have made big progress. I suppose further changes are possible.

But my real advice is...if you want to have less of a hangover, choose to masturbate without Internet porn/flashbacks.

Please let us know how it goes. I've enabled you to blog.

Congrats on making it as far

Congrats on making it as far as you have! In addition to what Marnia says, I do think you should start dating. You'll find that as you start caring for a woman the urges will reduce. The affection and the social aspect will help you get past the 2 week barrier. Before you know it you'll be in a meaningful relationship. Get out there. You're ready for it. :)

Good input

Thats good input and it gave me some perspective, from both answers. I will from now on stop trying to push it to what I thought was optimal and instead of slipping with use of pornography, I will do it with a nice fantasy of a real person I like whenever the urge gets to big. I'ts gonna be interesting to see if the hangover gets as intensive. Something tells me it won't be because the orgasm will probably not be as intensive without all the dopamine stimulation released from porn viewing. Thanks for that Marnia. And I think your right about the part that my body is urging for a partner. I even find myself thinking about kids and family pretty often nowdays. Maybe it is the biological clock that has started ticking?

It could be time to start reaching out for female bonding already. Even though I havn't passed my two months abstinence wich I was planning to do before dating. What the heck, if I feel good about myself and around females after one week of abstinence so why not open up already? And I liked the idea that my brain might already be pretty recovered since I have cut down the consumtion a big deal the last six months.

So lets see where these new perspectives takes me. Hopefully its gonna do me some good at least, I'm pretty sure of it.

Thanks Wink

Let us know

how it goes. Companionship itself is healing. And not everyone needs a full two months to recover. Keep in mind that some men have been using for twenty years. Smile

This depends a lot on what

This depends a lot on what one means by recovery. Brain reboot might be pretty quick, but plasticity changes takes time and underlying lifestyle changes even more time. It is good to pay attention to any positive changes as early as possible to keep the momentum building.

In fact,

some plastic changes may be permanent. But I think people can restore their balance (brain's sensitivity) even though they may never fully uproot the old porn pathways. With balance, they have the ability to choose the other fork in the road, and stay off the "downward spiral" trail. That's what counts.

Well yeah, but only in the

Well yeah, but only in the sense that a 1974 Buick is permanent. It's out there, but who uses that on a daily basis. I'm taking the shiny new car because it doesn't leave me high and dry.

IIRC form the plasticity material I read, in theory we should have stronger minds from the period of plasticity. People who beat addiction should have some structural advantages wired in that those that never faced it might not. I wonder if that can be tested. Former addicts generally seem impressive to me.

Of course making use of our plasticity period can be very powerful in creating pathways. Perhaps the mind can evolve to being more plastic generally.

plasticity - in a bad way

Plasticity means change, that's all. An addiction creates changes we don't want. Some of them may be permanent. It's what is behind cravings, triggers, and relapse.
The first excerpt is my very simple description.
The second explains that nerve growth (dendritic spines) leads to addictions and relapse.
The third one says when you are a practicing addict you lose your plasticity.

1) A simple explanation - From my article: http://yourbrainonporn.com/doing-what-you-evolved-to-do
"Nerve cells that fire together, wire together”
As the numbed pleasure response compels continued porn use, your brain start to rewire itself. Rewiring involves strengthening the connections between nerve cells, making it easier for them to communicate. This is what happens in all learning. It’s called neuroplasticity. The more intense the experience, the stronger the connections. The stronger the connections, the easier it is for electrical impulses to travel along this new pathway.
With habitual porn viewing, you are deepening a rut in your brain. Just as water flows through the path of least resistance, so do impulses, and thus thoughts. As with any skill, the more you practice the easier it is do. Soon it becomes automatic, without any conscious thought. You’ve formed a deep pornography rut in your brain.
A numbed pleasure response, combined with a deep pathway leading to short-term relief, is the basis of all addictions.

2) A few excerpts From this great article on plasticity http://yourbrainonporn.com/garys-research-general-addiction-the-addicted...
Road to Relapse
Delta FosB appears to function very differently in addiction than CREB does. Studies of mice and rats indicate that in response to chronic drug abuse, delta FosB concentrations rise gradually and progressively in the nucleus accumbens and other brain regions. Moreover, because the protein is extraordinarily stable, it remains active in these nerve cells for weeks to months after drug administration, a persistence that would enable it to maintain changes in gene expression long after drug taking ceased.

Studies of mutant mice that produce excessive amounts of delta FosB in the nucleus accumbens show that prolonged induction of this molecule causes animals to become hypersensitive to drugs. These mice were highly prone to relapse after the drugs were withdrawn and later made available--a finding implying that delta FosB concentrations could well contribute to long-term increases in sensitivity in the reward pathways of humans. Interestingly, delta FosB is also produced in the nucleus accumbens in mice in response to repetitious nondrug rewards, such as excessive wheel running and sugar consumption. Hence, it might have a more general role in the development of compulsive behavior toward a wide range of rewarding stimuli.

Recent evidence hints at a mechanism for how sensitization could persist even after delta FosB concentrations return to normal. Chronic exposure to cocaine and other drugs of abuse is known to induce the signal-receiving branches of nucleus accumbens neurons to sprout additional buds, termed dendritic spines, that bolster the cells' connections to other neurons. In rodents, this sprouting can continue for some months after drug taking ceases. This discovery suggests that delta FosB may be responsible for the added spines.

Highly speculative extrapolation from these results raises the possibility that the extra connections generated by delta FosB activity amplify signaling between the linked cells for years and that such heightened signaling might cause the brain to overreact to drug-related cues. The dendritic changes may, in the end, be the key adaptation that accounts for the intransigence of addiction.

3) from this study http://yourbrainonporn.com/garys-research-neuroplasticity-addiction-loss...
However, after a longer use, a significant LTD deficit appears in all users. Without this form of plasticity, which allows new learning to occur, behaviour with regard to the drug becomes more and more rigid, opening the door to development of a compulsive consumption.

Is plasticity in the addict mind

I can't read that all right now, but

Is plasticity in the addict mind different than general neuroplasticity? If so, is it different only in getting around the addiction or is the entire brain a little warped?

Any long-term studies on former addicts brains?

i also had the same problem,

i also had the same problem, when i reached Day 14, I get energized and don't want to sleep or take a rest after coming back from work. Feel like getting some 'action', if not, feel kinda frustrated and depressed.

On 9 days without porn and MB... so far so good

First of all thank you to the organizers for these resources and your communication of all the research. Never knew so much existed on the topic until I started to look for solutions.

I gave up MBing about 20+ days ago. Still, I found myself "edging" to porn without MBing, in fact the surfing had gotten worse, so I stopped looking at porn about 9 days ago. First 2 days after that without porn were difficult. But a change of daily activities, reconnecting with an old friend and keeping a journal of my fantasies/desire seemed to deal with it, and things have calmed down. I am going through some considerable stress in my life (looking for a job, reaching 40 as a single guy with much less accomplished than I thought I would have), but this one aspect of my life feels great.

I had expected to feel stress and discomfort from not looking at porn or MB'ing, but instead feel much more well-adjusted. Currently, although no doubt this will change, the sense of control and pride I feel is better than what I would find from porn. Perhaps after 25 years of relatively frequent orgasm (mostly MB I confess, but often in relationships) it is just the novelty of this sensation.

Thanks for reply

If I am figuring things out for myself, it is only because of the help I have found on this site, Your Brain on Porn and other communities ? Last time I thought about all this was middle of the last decade, and the best advice I could find then online was of the "fight temptation with prayer" variety...

I can start a blog, hopefully I can get beyond the 10-14 day mark.

Agree with "cuddle buddy" concept in principle, but trying it with exes would cause problems given most are now happily married ! Wink However, as I deepen my relationships with some of my happily single female friends, it might be something to experiment with !

Heh

[quote=Marnia]irate spouses chasing you with bats it would take your mind off porn for sure. ;-)[/quote]

[bigsmile]

nuro-feeback

I've been meaning to blog about this but I've been doing nurofeedback, which I started before I started no pmfo. Today is/was day 15 for me. After all the compulsive masturbating and viewing of porn I've done, I truly believe that the nurofeedback has played a pivotal role in me getting this far.

http://nopmfo.blogspot.com/