Creating closeness with your Adhd partner

Submitted by snowbear on
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I don't think this site could have come at a more apropos time. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD at age 6 and is usually on meds (except when his body "needs a break"). Typically his breaks last a couple weeks and life moves along well enough. This time he's been off for at least a month and...well...things are getting interesting.

When ADHD does create significant sexual problems, it usually falls into two categories: The ADHD partner initiates sex all the time or almost never. Again, it seems, we encounter these pesky ADHD-related challenges in self-regulation and summoning motivation.

I want to connect to him and create a stronger bond. I am lost. 

I will be interested

I will be interested in following your progress and if you are able to create a stronger bond with him.

My ex-husband was (most likely) ADHD~~with him, it translated into constantly seeking new experiences/projects (jumping from one to another), being very restless (which translated into wanting to move from place-to-place), and unfortunately, not seeming to need nor want sex. Honestly, I don't think he would have had the attention span for serious bonding behaviors unless he had been on some sort of medication.

So I hope you can find a way to create the bond you are wanting...does he want that, too?

rediscovered

Hmmm...

See I m having the same issues. It's either feast or fammine with sex. And jobs come and go. He says he wants to try and will try anything to help us.

Out of Synch

Check out: The Out of Sync Child series by Carol Kranowitz
http://www.out-of-sync-child.com/
I've worked with kids with ADHD and found sensory processing issues frequently need to be addressed. Sometimes just getting a handle on the sensory stuff can solve most of the problems. The first many pages (70? 130?) make the case for the idea that Sensory Processing is a valid issue and Occupational Therapists are trained to deal with it. If you get that point, you can skip to the chapters that help you diagnose and treat the particular sensory issue (tactile, auditory, visual, etc).
Try out Marnia's Bonding Behaviors and see how he responds.
http://www.reuniting.info/lazy_way_to_stay_in_love
Best Wishes

cogmed.com is a proven and

cogmed.com is a proven and natural method that helps a lot with adhd. I think the results can be even better if one trains even further than the time periods that the test subjects did.

If he can do five minutes of qigong every day, eventually it will help him become calm and focused enough for 6-7 minutes and later 10 minutes and so on. I read an interview iwth a yoga teacher who taught kids with adhd and she said in the start some had problems standing in ONE posure for the duration of five breaths. Within a year they were able to do and enjoy whole sequences.

Springforestqigong is very good and easy enough to learn froma DVD. There has probably also been made specific sequences for adhd. You could try to digg some of that up.