Now I'm really confused

Submitted by Penny on
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Last night I had a date with my Love. He's always been a fabulously affectionate lover (the whole couple of months we've been having sex), but last night was so wonderful that I wondered if he'd spent some time on this site studying up on Kerazza. I intended to not have an orgasm, really I did. And I held off for a long time. But then there it was in all it's glory, overtaking me like a sneaker wave that just didn't want to put me back down on the sandy beach. It may have been the longest, strongest, most intense orgasm I've ever had. I felt a bit disappointed with myself for allowing it to happen, but like I said, it kind of snuck up on me. So I expected the consequence - the hangover. I've had the hangover on almost every other occasion we've had orgasms, so I was fully prepared to have one today. But much to my surprise, NO HANGOVER! Wtf? I felt absolutely wonderful all day long, as though all the planets were aligned and that World Peace had suddenly broken out and surely there'd be a cure for cancer by the end of the day. Is there some more science going on in my brain here? Or what? Does anyone else have such a wide variance post orgasm? I mean, my hangovers have been a *real* drag - severe brain fog, lethargy, almost unable to form sentences that make sense, dark circles & sickly complexion for a few days... To go from that to feeling like, as Paul Simon sings, I've got diamonds on the souls of my shoes... Now I don't know what to think.

You are hilarious!

Thanks for the laugh this morning, Penny!

I've had two of those "sneaker" orgasms lately and they occur with no thought nor intention nor "try" from me. They happen when I'm completely relaxed and breathing deeply and no tension in my body whatsoever.

I have also noticed I don't have that "I'm done, get off me now" feeling with these particular orgasms, so I don't know what is going on or what is different about them. I've read about valley orgasms and I'm wondering if that's what they are?

It will be two weeks since the first one coming up this Friday and I want to see if I feel the way I have in the past at the two-week interval. So far, I'm feeling okay (in spite of the lovely monthly hormonal changes). We shall see!

Did your lover abstain from orgasm? (is that why you thought he'd been reading on this site?)

As far as post-orgasm hangover, I've never had the severe feelings you've experienced, so I'm sure for you this is really interesting to try to figure out! I love science projects~~


just – so – sweet

For me there is a world of difference between orgasms that I go looking for and orgasms that find me. If I get in a goal-oriented mindset that I “gotta have it,” then I will usually feel lousy afterward, even if I don’t get there. However, if I am totally relaxed into the moment and the orgasm overtakes me with no effort or intention on my part then it is – just – so – sweet – and no hangover.

Valley Orgasm - that's new to me

Where can I read about that?

What you said, too, about the "I'm done, get off me now" feeling, yes, you were spot on there, too. I was in such an open space (no pun intended, but it certainly does fit) that I was happy to carry on till the cows came home.

No, he did not abstain, and he *did* have a hangover. :( Makes me sooooo sad that this wonderful, creative, loving experience can make us feel poorly. I really, really want to be a source of goodness, nurturing, loving, delightfulness in his life, as he is in mine. People like him are beyond rare in this world. That is why I have spent so long inbetween partners. I'm hoping that we can find the balance of pleasure & abstinance that will serve us well, both in our relationship, and in how it affects us the rest of the time, as in when we're not together. I thought that perhaps he'd studied up on Kerazza because our intimate time together was so full of tender, loving exploration and appreciation, but then, he's always been more centered and slow than I to progress to pvi, so it could actually have been that because I'd decided from the outset to NOT have an orgasm (but surprised myself), that it was *I* who actually drew out the experience.

This is by far the *best* science experiment I've *ever* done! -Just so long as I don't blow it and become lame-o needy chick right when he's going through signs of needing to "retreat to his cave."

Sounds like

he could be a good partner to experiment with, since he has an intuitive sense of not wanting to rush to climax.

And yes, wouldn't it be lovely if we could just make each other lastingly happy the way our brains *tell* us we can? Whose fault is this crazy design anyway? Wink


Sounds like you're enjoying your explorations and learning great things. I found I could sometimes stay "high" after orgasm for about 5 days. I don't remember if I had already started "not going for them" when I began noticing that.

But highs immediately afterward don't always tell the whole story for me. Here are a couple of things to watch for (and I hope you *won't* find them Wink ) Does a sense of...alienation between you or irritability or dissatisfaction or neediness...sneak up over the coming week or two? Do you find your horniness becomes really demanding in a few days? In other words, how long does the "wholely satisfied" feeling last, and do your (or his) feelings for earthier sex arise? What kind of sex (hot or karezza-like) do you have next time you're together?

Keep us posted. And have fun! Smile

Verrrry interesting...

I will keep my senses tuned to the up's & down's with regard to the things you mentioned - alienation, irritablility, dissatisfaction, neediness... Some of these things might be brought on through a somewhat negative thought process I find myself in when things don't happen on my schedule, rather than them necessarily being because of brain chemistry. -Especially the neediness. I find that that is a really annoying part of my personality in general. I'd *LOVE* to blame it on brain chemistry, but it might be more of a personality flaw. -One that I *am* working on. I find that if I can just let Life happen in it's own time, it generally is perfect timing, but when I rush things, or demand that they happen on MY schedule, then things tend to get out of whack. CONSTANTLY working on that one.