4 weeks done.. but I feel like I'm going backwards now. Help?

Submitted by checkitout on
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Okay, I'm a 20 year old straight male. I found this site around early November of last year. I lot of what I've read about others experiences has resonated with me.

Through trial and error I would go a few days and slip. Then a couple of weeks. I was really hard on myself anytime I did slip. I've always held myself to a very high standard so I get easily frustrated. Well now I've gotten through an entire month cold turkey from everything. And I'm very proud of myself for that. I feel I've gotten to the point where I no longer want porn or need it for that matter. (I still make sure to keep myself in check of course.)

Needless to say, withdrawal has been one crazy ride. On some days I feel like I am gonna be just fine, and I feel really happy inside just knowing I can accomplish what I want.. but then some days will be the exact opposite. Depression, anxieties, and just crazy thinking in general. I start to get mad at myself for some of the things that'll pop up in my mind. Some days I can really see the changes in myself, some not at all.

I guess I'm mostly posting this just to tell someone about it, and to hear some, hopefully comforting, words. Do these crazy mood swings and changes in thought patterns generally occur on a regular basis even after getting past the 1 month mark? When does it start to chill out and leave me alone? :(

Thanks for any replies!

Its a rough ride no matter

Its a rough ride no matter what. It seems like just getting past the physiological dips is the first part, then we have to deal with years of bad habits and creating new ones. It will start to chill out when we learn to take care of ourselves in a deep way. I wish it were a matter of just abstaining from orgasm, but there are a lot of reasons why were got compulsive with this in the first place and these need to be addressed. Hang in there, its worth it. There are tons of pointers on this site of things you can do to help weaken this.

If one way be better than another, that you may be sure is nature's way.
-Aristotle

Thanks guys, and that's a

Thanks guys, and that's a really thought provoking post JRsun. Maybe I've been thinking about this differently than I should.

Once upon a time I was very social and fairly outgoing, but I feel like I've lost that to some extent. Since starting this, I haven't been going out and socializing as much (my job doesn't really require it. I'm a poolboy). I'll make an effort to make myself go out more on weekends and let everyone know how it goes!

The week is going MUCH

The week is going MUCH better than the weekend did. Much more out of my head. Granted, I'll have some negativity show up once in a while, but it's easier to just brush it off.

I had a bit of an epiphany recently. I realized I've been spending so much of my time thinking about and monitoring myself. Trying to find changes, or noticing things that shouldn't be happening. And I realized.. maybe I should just spend my time differently. When I was younger I used to have so many hobbies and passions that I would spend my free time doing. Yet lately all that free time had been used analyzing myself. So I'm not going to give myself any time to analyze anymore and just enjoy other things. I'm starting martial arts lessons next week (something ive always wanted to do) as well as starting to write/play music again.

I really like having a place to put all these thought down, so I'll be starting to use the blog here. I hope some of my experiences will be able to help others.

It seems like part of the

It seems like part of the depression loop for some people is self-obsession and hypochondria. Any chance to get out of your head and into reality will be helpful at this point.

Ive noticed the same thing about being able to brush things off and move on.

If one way be better than another, that you may be sure is nature's way.
-Aristotle