Submitted by daniel545 on
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Hi everybody. This is my first post here.

I really need to put a stop to my sporadic porn use (and masturbation). I recognized my problem probably about a year and a half ago. I noticed that whenever I stopped looking at porn and masturbating, I felt a lot better. A lot more social and motivated to develop relationships. I cannot believe how much porn and masturbating has been such an unconscious habit, since I was in middle school.

I've stopped before but always seem to crash. I don't use porn daily anymore- I have made improvements in the last 18 months but I want to see how if feels like to go 30 days without looking at porn or masturbating at all. I think maybe this support community can help and posting here will help organize my thoughts.

Thanks for all the help. Day 1 starts now. I'll try to post my thoughts and contribute daily for the next month.

Thanks Marnia. If you(or

Thanks Marnia. If you(or anyone) could keep me accountable and be tough on me for the next 30 days, I would appreciate it. Honestly I've told myself so many times I would quit porn for 30 days, then caved, it's ridiculous. This is time for me to follow through on this goal. No excuses.

Day 1 of no porn or mb is over. Actually I just recently stopped drinking caffeine- all types of coffee, sodas, and energy drinks. I am quite pleased about this. For me this is one of the hardest addictions to break. I am past the worst withdrawal symptoms from cutting out caffeine(i'm on day 8 or so). I'm starting to feel a lot more calm and centered.

As for other things which help me stay away from porn:
-daily exercise
-meditation
-good diet (ie cutting out caffeine)
-social plans(!)
-limiting tv
-limiting alcohol when i go out

Sounds like a good list

Congratulations on the caffeine progress. I read that it takes about two weeks for the receptors that caffeine hijacks to return to normal, so you may even see some more changes on that front.

OK, you got it. "A foot up the ass and a smack upside the head." Wink

Thanks Checkiitout and

Thanks Checkiitout and Marnia. This whole accountability thing is new to me, and is what I think has been holding me back.

Day 2 is over. I'm starting to feel a little better, a little more alive. I read a lot of Eckhart Tolle, and have been trying to concentrate on feeling the energy in the body, ie my "inner body." This seems to help get out of my head, relax my body, and stay present. I also walked home from work today instead of taking the subway. I need to make sure I get some kind of exercise every day.

I need to stay alert, especially the next couple days. This is when my mind tries to justify me sneaking a peak at some porn, since I've been "so disciplined" for a few days. No excuses, no slipping. I've been tempted to go back to caffeine. I must not slip in that area either.

Exercise

is a godsend for lots of guys here, so that's a good idea.

Yeah, that "reward" mentality is tough to overcome. Maybe think of something else to reward yourself with. Wink

What other tools are you using to stay sane during the withdrawal? Wink

I crashed...

I drank caffeine today

Oh well, maybe I'll have to open an account at a caffeine addiction board. :)

But it's ok, 1 coffee in 10 days isn't too bad a start.

The important thing is though, I'm more than 72 hours in without porn, and I'm finding a daily entry into this forum to be helpful.
The next few days are crucial that I stay focused. I find Thurs.-Sun to be the most tempting time for me. The end of week stress/weekend recreation seem to get to me.

Tools to stay sane - maybe I'll get a massage or some acupuncture this weekend, as a reward

Hope you enjoyed it

Smile 10 days is very good.

Nice job holding the line on porn...and coming up with a strategy for rewarding yourself. There are plenty of things to watch/read at YBOP if you feel temptation hovering.

More power to you man!

The first few days are the hardest so your doing great! Just don't let your guard down like I did. I failed around 90 days and regret it. I'm back on day 1 and I'll be counting the days along with you brother!

Few things that helped me:
-Excercise
-Vitamins
-Stay occupied (clean the car/house, read, educate yourself,excercise the mind)
-I actually wore a rubberband around my wrist for the 1st few weeks of quitting Cigs and anytime I thought about smoking a Cig I would snap the rubberband. I read by doing that the brain would subconciously relate Smoking with Pain.... might work with PMO?
-Journal
-Write down the reasons/your motivations for wanting to quit and read it everyday.
-Good Eating habits (as you already pointed out)

Good luck man!

Huge changes Daniel. Within

Huge changes Daniel. Within a week I had more energy and less social anxiety. As the weeks progressed my self-confidence improved. I started to make wiser decisions. After 10 years of smoking Cigs and Marijuana I gave them both up cold turkey after about 2 weeks of PMO. I also stopped playing FFXI (online video game) that I played daily for years. I completely changed my diet, counting calories and taking vitamins. I started to run about 1 Mile a day which is now at about 18 miles a week. I suffered from Erectile Dysfunction and performance anxiety when with an actual woman but after 3 weeks of no PMO that completely changed.... regained Morning wood, random erections,etc. I felt more focused at work and just overall happyness. I always tried to fool friends,coworkers,woman and family into thinking I'm this "cool" guy (or at least what I thought was cool) but now I just be myself.

However... after slipping up 3 months in and literally binging on PMO for 4-5 days in a row now (several times a day) I already feel the negetive effects. Mainly social anxiety and lazyness. And to top it all off, this woman of interest that I have been talking with for a few weeks now told me yesterday that "You have changed" and we actually ended up getting in a verbal arguement for the 1st time. She is right, I have changed... my view of her and any other woman I see has been tainted since my binge inncident. Hope that answers your question. :)

Keep up the good work man!

I can't help wishing

that everyone using porn could read this post. It would really help them be able to put cause and effect together. Then, whatever they choose to do is up to them. But without this awareness, they're in such a precarious position...without knowing it. *sigh*

Confinement- That's

Confinement- That's fantastic. So even though you did crash after 90 days, I assume you are still better off than when you first started? Something like 3 steps forward and one step back?

I appreciate the post. Hearing and reading about the benefits people feel after a few weeks is probably the biggest motivator to keep going.

The longest I've gone without ejaculating is probably about 30 days, (porn probably around 20), and I do remember feeling less social anxiety. Things begin to flow much easier.

But, the problem I had when I wasn't masturbating or viewing porn, the desire to be social led me to do things I normally wouldn't do (ie excessive partying).

Done with day 4. I am acting

Done with day 4. I am acting better socially, but I'm feeling the pull of porn today. I promise I won't fail tonight. I find it easier sometimes if I make short term goals like that, which in the end add up.

Short-term is good

In fact, the classic addict adage is "One day at a time." Smile

Glad you're already noticing some benefits. Be ready with a strategy for when the sneaky urges hit. Have you tamed your computer? (Sorry if you already answered that.)

Work week is done

Day 5 complete. I last viewed porn and mb'ed briefly last Sunday afternoon. Now I must remain control this weekend. I have plans tonight and tomorrow during the day. This should help, so I won't be around the apt all day. I'm excited to get over the 1st week wall and gain some momentum.

I am pretty buzzed/almost drunk

It's friday night/sat morning, 12:36 AM. I went to a dinner party tonight and many many women were there. I interacted pretty well with them(and with all the guys there too) and had the motivstion to start conversation (the wine and whiskey helped a bit, too).

Out of the 15+ women I spoke to tonight, I only really liked one. I had the opportunity to go to this after party with this one girl who I wasn't into and probably have sex later on, but I chose to just come home. I hope I get the opportunity to see the one girl I liked again.

I'm posting here right now because I know if I don't I will probably cave in and watch porn and numb any kind of affection I had for that one girl. I promise to hold it out tonight... this will give me motivation to ask my friend who this girl was (i didnt get her #) so maybe I can see her again and have real man to woman interaction. I won't cave in.

Officially have gone 7 days.

Officially have gone 7 days. I' m starting to view all women I see as pieces of meat. Damn this is tough, it's like sensory overload.

But I do feel more energy, which is good.

My plan for this work week, Mon-Fri.

Do at least 30 min of cardio every morning, before work.
Meditate 15 min in the AM and 10 min in the PM.
Eat a salad for lunch every day this week (often I eat crap at lunch and feel like garbage the rest of the day)
Drink Kombucha (an organic detoxing health drink) once per day.

Day 8 complete. Things are

Day 8 complete.

Things are getting tougher, but nothing I can't handle

Today I started daydreaming about sex. I feel like I'm in a little bit of overdrive.

This truly is a spiritual test. I'm getting the classic voices in my head which tell me to just break my promise and to forget this forum. The positive thing is I'm recognizing these voices more and more and reminding myself of me stating "no excuses" earlier in this thread. I promised 30 days. On day 31 I can make another decision, but for now this is my commitment, to see if I can do it and see what changes occur.

When I think of a courageous man, ie a classic warrior type (Braveheart/Gladiator/Troy for cinema examples), I would have to think that one of the last things these men would ever do is indulge in something as cowardly as pornography. Perhaps they would be involved in many women, but no, I can't believe they would ever masturbate to pornography. Oh and I know they didn't have internet back then, but you know what I mean!

I often have

the sense that each of you is a Luke Skywalker in your own scifi film. Same idea. Smile

And yes indeed, you can always go back where you've been porn-wise, so why not find out what your options are?

Who knows what these classic

Who knows what these classic warriors did when they were with themselves... Homosexual behavior often blooms during wars (*the emphasis here, of course, being on "blooms," definitely not on "homosexual") and it is known that there's also a great deal of masturbation going on. Raping and prostitution too, as it is well-documented. War and violence tend to exaggerate all kinds of activities and warriors engage in all kinds of behavior during wars. And great warriors are like the other warriors - just a bit greater... Smile But let's assume, for our own sake, that they didn't masturbate... all that much... See - the difference between you and all these "greats" may not be all that great Smile
Yeah, I would imagine womanizers masturbate less than those preferring to spend their time in front of a computer screen...
You're doing great and sound like you are a great guy - with or without the porn and masturbation. What would make you even greater - and in the eyes of women, too - is to stop the first forever and to put the second under control. Smile Women (tend to) like men who can exercise some self-control at least...
Don't give up, keep going, and don't break your promises: great men - and women - don't do that you know!

You are right Piper. I was

You are right Piper. I was more referring to the way the cinema portrayed these characters.. Virtuous and courageous, who lived for a higher purpose. I realize that in actuality many warriors back in this time were womanizing and out of control (see the HBO series "Rome" for a more accurate mainstream portrayal).

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I won't break my promise. What are your experiences with abstaining? What kinds of benefits have you seen?

Yeah - if you ever start

Yeah - if you ever start thinking of breaking this particular promise, just come to this site and think of all the solidarity we have with one another here.
The benefits? Erections in the morning and better mood overall. I'd say more guts with women but that's only what I hear; personally, I'm pretty gutsy there anyway - even prior to this abstinence period - which got me in trouble Smile There is a sense of accomplishment - you are not feeling empty and you know you can stay strong for something important. More optimism about getting laid soon and about life in general are other positives. And more warmth down there.
Good luck and don't go back to old times... I'm watching you here, you know Wink

10 days in the bag, now on

10 days in the bag, now on day 11. struggling today. very distracted by sexual thoughts. feeling more feisty and combative than usual. can you say "sexual frustration"?

ill just have to wait it out for things to calm down.

weekend's

always a toughie, so much free time. I would defo recommend cutting out the booze, out of all your other addictions/habits it is the one that reduces a persons will power and rational thinking the most (save hard drugs). I had to give up booze in order to give up cigarettes.

Piper, i heard when at war a lot of horseplay used to go on, if you know what i mean Wink

Vis

Well Done

Write your ass off, meditate your ass off, jog your ass off, anything. Haha. I relapsed this morn, and I'm here to tell you it's not worth it, haha.

Either way, 14 days is awesome. So, well done.

I just masturbated, but not

I just masturbated, but not to porn. Had a real stressful weekend and I needed a release, and I feel much better now. I made it 2 weeks.

I feel bad that I broke my promise, but I'll get back on the saddle and continue the 30 day experiment. I only ejaculated once and have no plans to binge.

Promises are fine,

but balance is the goal here. Smile You've done really well.

In any case, eventually you have to come up with a schedule that works for you...or become a karezza fan. Smile So all experiments are useful.

My problem is this

I am leaving the option for porn open at the end of 30 days, and this is sabotaging myself. I must quit this habit completely, forever.

Masturbation is a different story. It's unreasonable to say I must quit this forever. But I'm pretty sure I must soon make a decision to quit porn forever and burn my ships.

What do you guys think?

Yes, quit porn forever!

Yes, quit porn forever! Haven't you quit already?! Come on, we need your help - let's all try being on the same page so that we can take tips from one another and learn how this process really works! Smile
And quit masturbation for now - to give yourself the chance for fastest recovery. Masturbate if you really need to - but never, never to porn and never excessively (never bingeing).
About the porn - don't even say you need a last look at it. Think of it as though you've already quit and never go back. Erase all the porn you have on your laptop - if you have any, clear your history, and break all DVSs if you have any. No looking!
Then never go back to it. You'll feel better about yourself soon afterwards. Do it - you won't miss this garbage!

Thank you Piper. You are

Thank you Piper. You are right. It's time for a massive fundamental change. I'm sick of being a slave.

I remember reading a Tony Robbins technique, to break a habit, to attribute massive pain to that habit, and pleasure to it's replacement.

It's time to some changes. Will follow up with the pleasure/pain list.

Porn

Porn equals

laziness
Loneliness
anxiety
weakness
desperation
cowardice
humiliation
fear
guilt
timidity
prison
slavery
sadness
depression