Day 3 (6th trial or so)

Submitted by MrCrowley on
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I took a little porn holiday so that my 3 week mark would coincide with my band's first gig. Having read about the confidence and radiance that has surfaced in people at that point I thought it would be an interesting experiment and help me to be on point and sexy when I get to perform in front of some people. I didn't really feel guilty after my binge but spent, depressed, empty. Interestingly, on day one I had a very inspiring rehearsal with the band and went out afterwards feeling all kinds of shiny and had some good positive interactions as the "new me." I have to say there's been a cumulative effect of my abstinence trials that's given me a boost even in the first days after a binge. Regardless, I'm still set on achieving three weeks as that was often mentioned as a significant landmark in the benefits compilation.

I had another unpleasant dream that woke me up around 3:30. This is becoming a pattern in the first few days.


Thanks for sharing

your experience. Everyone's findings are helpful. How was the actual gig? How long was the binge? Keep us posted on what you notice over the next few days. I find the effects of intense stimulation can linger, producing ups and downs for a while.

I think the binge was 4

I think the binge was 4 times on each of two days last week. The gig is on the 25th of this month. That's why I allowed myself the indulgence - so that the gig would be on the 21st day once I started over. Weird logic, I know, but that's where I am. I just got out of a yoga class where there was this absolute angel that set off my feelings of inadequacy and had me nearly sobbing in class. Wow! That feeling used to put me in long term states of despair and lead me to coming home screaming and breaking things. Now, though, I can put that feeling away and look forward to feeling better. I was pretty weak physically and emotionally in class anyway, and that could be from drinking and eating hot dogs yesterday which has not been my style recently. Like some other people have said, the abstention is just the beginning of self improvement, and I've been eating better, spending time more productively, and drinking and getting high less since starting all this.

Thanks again for reading, Marnia. You're the bee's knees. :)

OK, now I get it

Wink I may be the bees knees, but I'm a little slow on the uptake sometimes.

Hopefully the angel will be smiling in your direction soon. And good luck meeting your goal.