It's been 5 weeks without PMO today. 5 weeks ago I would have never thought that was possible but thanks to these sites and an understanding of what is going on in my brain I have made it this far.
It was a pretty good week this week. I felt pretty strong emotionally, didn't really have any down days. The urges still come and go, some days are worse than others.
I wake up at some point every night with an erection usually. I am really enjoying that, it had been a decade without nightime wood, I remember when it went away it was so weird, I felt like something was missing.
On Wednesday night I woke up with an absolute monster of an erection, I laid there for about 10 minutes, didn't think about sex, didn't touch it, didn't even move my body, but the thing did not go down for about 10 minutes. That has only happened a few nights so far but I am hoping it starts happening more consistently.
That same night I went on to have a dream orgasm, I actually remembered the dream this time so that was nice. I had no ejaculation though. This was my third dream orgasm, last one was on day 16.
This was my most significant moment of the week. When I was driving home from work at around 7pm, I started to have some sexual fantasy. Usually I try to cut this off as soon as possible but I decided to let it go a little longer this time. Within a few minutes I had a full erection. I haven't been able to have an erection in the evening from just fantasy in such a long time, I don't even remember how long it's been. I was really excited about this. I am hoping it is a sign that my mind is become much more sensitive.
I also noticed my attraction to girls in real life go up this week. I even felt slightly attracted to this women at work who is not attractive at all, she is just way older than me and not my type. Overall I would say I have come about 40-50% of the way from where I was, it depends on the day I guess. It's definitely not linear like everyone says. Some days I feel like I haven't made any progress at all, some days I feel I have come so far. Also I have noticed my sexual thoughts are becoming more sensual and realistic than before.
I still need to cut down on my sexual fantasy, I am usually ok during the day when I am at work, but when I am still in bed in the morning and half asleep it always comes into my mind.
I was thinking about reaching out to this girl I used to work with this morning, but I don't know if I am ready yet. I would like to be closer to 100% before I start thinking of getting lucky.
Anyway, that's my update for this week. Hope everyone is doing well.