My wife and I have been reading Peace. I have "finished" it, she will soon be caught up. We did not come by the book due to sexual disappointment but I had heard of Karezza somehow and bought both books via Amazon.
We have been married for over 12 years and have 4 fantastic children. Sex (conventional) is the best it has ever been and it has always been very good. I have a fair degree of control even normally able to maintain it through some rather intense full body orgasms with female ejaculation without ejaculating myself. I personally have always received most of my enjoyment from the experience of watching her go nuts rather than my personal orgasm which is nothing at all by comparison to hers. After having read your book, I can see many of the potential negative symptoms of orgasm in myself particularly. But not so much in my wife. Below is her description of what hers feels like...
"Extremely powerful electical currents going through my whole body, multiple streams of gushing fluid release (soaks the bed so we often go to the floor), and an overwhelmingly irresistable compulsion to scream. Sometimes it is a feeling like I'm going down on a huge roller coaster."
I am wondering if she might already be experiencing the type of orgasm that is non-depletive. She is amazingly responsive for a good 24 hours after as well. I am hard enough to deal with at times that when we do fight I have normally provoked her enough that her reactions would probably not require any hormonal issues. She is a great woman.
We will be starting the Exchanges soon and in preparation we have been avoiding orgasm successfully, but I need to be clear as to whether we should be resisting her responses. Based on my description would you call that a genital orgasm? Seems far beyond that to me. Some additional info, My wife was a non-dating virgin when we got married and has never even masturbated before except with me present. Her whole vagina region will swell and kind of "push out" in the lead up and she will go into this state with ejaculation fluids just with foreplay and touching her nipples then really takes off upon the main event. The female ejaculation thing didn't start till I heard it was possible having purused a book encountered briefly when traveling. Then, I remembered our honeymoon when we stopped lovemaking several times because she felt like she needed to pee and of course resisted it.
My concern is this...I am (now freshly very aware of this from reading your book) very biological and visual. I have had issues with pornography and looking around. Prior to marriage, early on I had been with quite a few women, then committed spiritually and seemed to cut off that side of things successfully until marriage. My wife is clearly the most amazing woman I have ever been with by leaps. Yet, conventional sex reawakened my biology patterns and though I could never complain, I found myself wandering mentally, in dreams, and via porn when I'd never trade my wonderful wife for anyone in the world.
Ok, the concern is coming...I see this method described in Peace potentially able to help keep me out of my biology state (like the period before marriage where I had even purified my dreams where in them I would resist advances) by lovemaking taking on a different dynamic thus not essentially reinforcing what in a different context would be very negative behaviour. While at the same time cultivating deep intimate relationship with my wife in a "touchy feely" sort-of way that would extend far beyond the bedroom which I'm quite confident my wife would very much appreciate because that has never been my specialty. I believe the hang-over dynamic may be very much in play with me and if so that is a major benefit because I must have those 2 week waves sometimes syncing together causing tidal wave issues at times.
Finally, here's the concern... Despite my wife's willingness to do this for the desirable advantages stated above, I am concerned that for her sexually she could get less from the experience. Although, I think she is assuming already she will get less sexually but the relational advantages may potentially make for a more than compensating net gain in her mind.
Please address the stated and implied concerns you may perceive. I have considered just applying things on my side as far as genital orgasm avoidance goes. Doing all the exchanges and seeking to shift both my thinking and internal wiring while having her continue her much higher level of natural response.
What do you think?
I need some clarity on what should be allowed to just naturally flow and what is to be resisted if we do proceed together. I just don't want to mess her up sexually in any way by stopping-up a spring whose natural fresh water is so nourishing. I must also admit that I really would personally and selfishly miss her responsiveness which I find so appealing.
If there is any additional recommended reading that would be helpful please let us know.