Submitted by asark on


Yes, this is why addicts keep using. It's not so much for the to escape the horrible withdrawal misery...which can make you feel like you are a serious mental case temporarily.

If you can stick it out, the misery will pass. Meanwhile, what can you do to be extra good to yourself? Things people consistently say help are: time in nature, time with a pet, socializing (even if you feel like a zombie), beautiful music, vigorous exercise, talking walks, eating healthy food, blogging about the details of your distress.

There are lots of tips here from others who have been through this:

Feel good activities here:

Other tools:

Try some things. Let us know what helps.

*big hug*

Thanks for the great advice

Thanks for the great advice and comments. Actually it was the videos on that gave me the proper knowledge about how the brain works in regards to sex addictions. I actually got very motivated watching the six part series. It was very informative and well made.

Thanks for all the great tools Marnia! Compared to nicotine addiction, this is one problem that is not widely accepted and researched. It is difficult for those trying to escape it but with people like you, the forums and these excellent videos, there is hope!


Glad it helped. Gary has done a good job with that site, eh? Don't be surprised if you need daily encouragement for a while. It can be tough at first.

*big hug*

Day 15 and still going

Day 15 and still going strong.. however I noticed that this morning, while still lying down in bed, I was getting these images in my head. It seems my primitive brain at this point knows that I am not going back to porn so it's doing everything in its power to get me that "orgasm"

I learned this technique a while back called TRT (thought replacement therapy) which allows you to shift your focus on your thinking. That helped as I was able to get my mind off of those images but it took quite a bit of effort.

So I am officially past the two week marker. Weekends are especially difficult when I''m home alone so let's see how I hold up.

I will try to stay out of

I will try to stay out of the house or be with people. At the moment, my computer is protected using this tool called OpenDNS however it is not "really" protected since I'm the one with the password to unlock it.. I may have to find someone to keep the password without telling me.

As for TRT, here is how it goes (with my thoughts/ideas at the end of this post):

Trying to simply change your mind to something else is not enough. It's a bit more involved then that and here is how you do it (and the way which it was taught to me)

Image your self in any scenario (let's pick one for this example -- giving a formal presentation in front of many people outside on a beautiful day)

1. Once you notice you are having disturbing images of porn, stop and take several deep breaths

2. Imagine yourself standing in front of a podium. Now while your imagining this, you must be VERY vivid with your visualization otherwise it may not be as effective. REALLY feel you are standing in front of the podium with your hands resting gently on top of the podium.

3. Feel your hands on the podium, the texture, the wood..

4. You notice it's a sunny bright day. Feel the wind blowing, the air rushing and touching your face. The sun's rays hitting you. You hear the bird's chirping. You MUST FEEL your entire surrounding at this point and ever single detail associated with it.

5. You notice all the different people looking at you and smiling. They are cheering you on as you are about to give this very exciting presentation speech

6. You start to actually feel the nice suit and pants you are wearing. You notice the crowd is also wearing formal attire. Your co-workers/family/etc. are next to you cheering you on

7. You start to give the speech and in your mind sing the "I pledge of allegiance to the flag" song. You repeat this song 2-3 times and get a huge applaud at the end as you take a bow.

NOW the good thing about this method is not only are you thinking of a single thought but you are actually bombarding your senses with MANY different feelings. You are actually imagining you are in this scenario and that you are giving this speech. By also singing the I Pledge of allegiance, you are once again adding more thought into your head which leaves VERY LITTLE room for anything else -- porn images.. This can actually be a difficult exercise at first (it was for me) as I was trying to think of all this AT THE SAME TIME.. LIKE I WAS REALLY THERE! You REALLY got to put effort into this exercise. This is EXTREMELY effective tool which will occupy your mind and with enough practice, you will get good at it and do it with ease and EASILY change your mind on the spot. You can create different scenarios but the point is to bombard your mind with all the different senses and feelings. (i.e.,) Imaging your there, smelling people's cologne, touching something or looking at something. GO INTO DETAIL!

I have used this several times and I must say it really does change the focus of your mind to something else and because it is not a "single" thought but many, it is very effective. If you notice your going back to the porn images, rinse and repeat and do it all over again until your mind is exhausted.. eventually it will give up and you will get up and find another activity to engage in. :)

Thanks for the TRT

I'll add it to the collection.

Glad you have plans.

At least make the password random enough that you can't remember it. And maybe leave it at the office or something.

Good luck! Let us know how you do. Smile

Makes perfect sense

that's what brain plasticity is all about. The brain adjusts to the overstimulation...and when it's not in the mix, the brain urges you to go get it. If you can resist long enough to get things back to normal, you won't feel like it's what you're supposed to be doing. At least not as often. Wink

How are you doing?