I stumbled upon this website a while ago. The articles about porn and masturbation really struck a chord with me. I have since started experimenting with periods of abstinence from porn and masturbation, with good results. I am generally more confident and more driven to meet real women without porn and masturbation. Frequent porn-watching also has a negative effect on my mood and self-esteem.
Before I start with my criticism of the message I have found on this site, first some notes:
This website does seem to attract many men (and women?) who experience strong negative side-effects from orgasm. This group is a very small percentage of the overall population, but may be overrepresented here. If you experience such negative side-effects from orgasm, then I completely understand your refraining from orgasm.
Moreover, I believe this website also is a proponent of cuddling and kissing and general physical intimacy to promote bonding and feelings of affection in a relationship. I believe that these behaviors do indeed help to create feelings of affection in a relationship, and I do this in my own relationships as well.
There are some issues I have with the message on this website though. It seems that people here believe that great sex and orgasms during sex are not a good thing, while the world is filled with obvious evidence to the contrary. The thing that itches the most is the following: Is it a bad thing if I give my girlfriend as much pleasure in bed as I can? Is that unethical? That seems completely absurd to me. I love sex, and I love giving pleasure to the woman I'm with. It turns me on to give her great pleasure, and it makes me feel good to know that I can give her great pleasure. You would have me believe that this is bad!
Now, I just read on this forum that although orgasms are pleasant, they do not promote bonding. That they can, in fact, make the relationship worse. Here is what I believe: bad sex can destroy a relationship. Great sex can greatly increase feelings of love, affection and desire for eachother.
Sex is very important for both women and men. Plenty of women end a relationship because of bad, unpleasant sex. I had great sex with my first girlfriend, and when we ended the relationship, she at one point cried, because she was afraid that she would not be able to find another man that could please her so much in bed. A man that is particularly bad in bed will frequently lose his girlfriends early on in relationships. A man that is great in bed can much more easily get great relationships, and have his girlfriend be in love, very devoted and very passionate about the sex. I know men in both categories. I have experienced these things for myself.
It is true that once you give a woman great sex, she will fantasize and masturbate more, and she will desire sex more. Once again, you would have me believe that this is a bad thing. That I hurt her by giving her great sex. Even though women will experience this as a positive thing themselves, and it makes them feel much closer to you!
You seem to be arguing the following:
Sexual stimulation can be very pleasant and we feel a strong desire for it (true)
Overstimulation can have negative consequences (like compulsive porn-watching, also true)
Therefore, we should avoid all great pleasure (what!?)
I am looking forward to reading your reactions.