I'm on day 12 no POM.
I haven't seen porn in over a year, actually. But when I first saw it about four years ago, it was a very intense thing. It felt like someone had injected about half a bottle of whiskey into my bloodstream, and I almost had an orgasm just from seeing it. An orgasm without an erection. My whole body and especially everything in my groin felt warm and tingly and, well, wonderful. I only watched a certain kind of porn which I found to be very sensual and never really escalated at all but for two years on and off just watching it would give me these reactions.
(Before viewing porn I had no problems with E.D. whatsoever.)
Fast forward and a year or two later I was with a woman I really wanted to be with and discovered I had pretty terrible E.D.. I tried Cialis three times but it didn't work very well at all. It took me another two years to find this site, and now that I'm here I understand, for the most part, why all this happened.
In the meantime I became single I found I could only give myself a fairly decent erection by thinking about a specific fantasy. This fantasy is pretty close to something I've actually done, but sometimes there were, "advanced" versions. I would read erotic fiction, thinking, well, if my mind can give me an erection, this is a good thing. But now I don't know.
Anyway, I am not sure what to do about fantasies and urges and tingling to best help myself recover. I find now I can bring on the tingling wonderfulness just by thinking about sex, or looking at a woman. Sometimes this gives me the beginnings of an erection. And sometimes I feel like I could have an orgasm just from thinking. And here on day 12, I'm just starting to crave one.
So it's a LOT harder to control thoughts and fantasies, since thoughts can just slide around and change so quickly. I can be driving, and, oops, I was fantasizing. That was nice. Etc.
I'm really unsure of how to proceed. I'm especially curious how people handle fantasies, and why I should or shouldn't.
Thanks to everyone on this great and courageous forum.