Need Help, Fantasies, Tingling, Urges, Questions....

Submitted by etgalore on
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I'm on day 12 no POM.

I haven't seen porn in over a year, actually. But when I first saw it about four years ago, it was a very intense thing. It felt like someone had injected about half a bottle of whiskey into my bloodstream, and I almost had an orgasm just from seeing it. An orgasm without an erection. My whole body and especially everything in my groin felt warm and tingly and, well, wonderful. I only watched a certain kind of porn which I found to be very sensual and never really escalated at all but for two years on and off just watching it would give me these reactions.

(Before viewing porn I had no problems with E.D. whatsoever.)

Fast forward and a year or two later I was with a woman I really wanted to be with and discovered I had pretty terrible E.D.. I tried Cialis three times but it didn't work very well at all. It took me another two years to find this site, and now that I'm here I understand, for the most part, why all this happened.

In the meantime I became single I found I could only give myself a fairly decent erection by thinking about a specific fantasy. This fantasy is pretty close to something I've actually done, but sometimes there were, "advanced" versions. I would read erotic fiction, thinking, well, if my mind can give me an erection, this is a good thing. But now I don't know.

Anyway, I am not sure what to do about fantasies and urges and tingling to best help myself recover. I find now I can bring on the tingling wonderfulness just by thinking about sex, or looking at a woman. Sometimes this gives me the beginnings of an erection. And sometimes I feel like I could have an orgasm just from thinking. And here on day 12, I'm just starting to crave one.

So it's a LOT harder to control thoughts and fantasies, since thoughts can just slide around and change so quickly. I can be driving, and, oops, I was fantasizing. That was nice. Etc.

I'm really unsure of how to proceed. I'm especially curious how people handle fantasies, and why I should or shouldn't.

Thanks to everyone on this great and courageous forum.

--ETG

Well,

there's one way to find out. Smile Stop fantasizing for a couple of months and see if you notice stronger sexual performance.

It's certainly theoretically possible that you've substituted thoughts (via fantasy) that release so much dopamine that they eclipse the stimulation of a real partner. Who knows?

How often do you orgasm? You could try cutting back and just masturbating to sensual touch without fantasy...and certainly without your preferred fantasy. Let that association fall into disuse for a while and see what you notice. You might find this article of interest, even though it's only indirectly relevant here: "Porn, Novelty and Dissatisfaction" http://yourbrainonporn.com/porn-novelty-and-dissatisfaction

Let us know how it goes.