Submitted by Gold on
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Hi! I've been abstaining from PMO for while (3 month i think). First month was incredibly hard but the second was very managable. The benefits were incredible in the second month but now im worse than ever. Im having wet dreams every 4 days! I never had a wet dream before this because i started masturbating too earley (9 years old) but now it's kind of starting to bother me. I dont think is normal to be orgasming so frecuently without even touching me. What's more, i had 3 orgasms being awake and without masturbating, watching porn or even fantasazing! I dint know it was even possible! So this month i had like 8 orgasms and none of them beacuse of P or M.
What do you think about this?

I think

it's time to connect with some ladies. I remember a man asking a similar question of Master Mantak Chia (Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy). His answer was: "Listen to your body and find a woman." Male energy is like a live volcano. You can't sit on it forever. Getting it back in balance is a first step for greater things.

The benefits of celibacy are apparent if you're trying to reboot, but once you get that's time to replace porn with connection. Sounds like you're ready for phase two.

So, how are things on the social front? If you need some suggestions check out these ideas. Something may inspire you:

*big hug*

Thank you

Thank you for your answer Marnia :)
I owe you so much...I really feel that you saved me from a lot of bad things in my life. I cant even begin to thank you...

I think you are right. I do need to find a woman, but the fact is's very hard to explain.
I know this sounds like fantasy but I had like this huge realease of pain about 6 month ago when I was doing a kind of meditation that is called "inner body awareness" that consists of just feeling your body and i somehow activated a ''healing mecanism'' in my body. I remember i started feeling tension in my back, shoulders and neck (strangely this is similar to what people experience when they abstain from PMO). The next 6 month i experienced all the types of pains that you can name. Later i realised that my body was healing.
You know, since puberty ive always been a very tense guy and now my body is so relaxed and feels so good that it is just unbelievable. Im planning to take dancing lessons when all this is over :)
The problem is that, to make things worse (but better in the long term) i started abstaining from PMO. So i added the withdrawal to all the pain i was feeling. The first weeks were very very difficult. I still remember the jitterness and the nausea...

You cant believe how much pain a person can carry without knowing! Now i know why so many people have illness such as fibriomialgya, POIS, etc. I even dare to say that 90% of all desease are psicosomatic .

So right now my body and mind are so unstable that it is very difficult to meet a girl. I feel so weird and clumsy it's like i have a new body and im learning to use it. I cant even talk properly!

Before all this i had very good social skills. I was very good at flirting also. I also overcame social anxiety a long long time ago. But's like i lost everything. I think the best word to explain this is: crippled. Yea, definetly i feel crippled.

But the thing that worries me is that there is almost no sing of my libido. I haven felt horny or atracted to girls for like a month. I remember that two months ago i began to attract a lot of girls, and i began to feel atracted to a lot of girls too. Now every time i feel lmy libido is coming back i have these weird orgasms that i dont even cause and my libido drops to 0 once again. So i really dont have any desire to do anything :(

Maybe my body is adjusting, recalibrating or whatever...But, wet dreams every 4 days?? Usually at day 4 after a wet dream i start to feel slightly horny, almost unnoticeable and then when i take a nap or go to sleep at night i have a wet dream.

P.S.: Also, just and observation, low and high self esteem definetly a phisiological or brain balance thing. I have a very good opinion of myself lol and sometimes i feel very low self esteem and then some days later high self esteem again.

Sounds like a very confusing phase

And quite unsettling. You're clearly not yourself right at the moment. And I certainly don't have all the answers. But I'll do my best. Smile

What about a cuddle buddy? Did you read this article? Could you share it with a friend who's a girl and see if she's interested? I have a feeling that you'll bounce back to your confident self faster with some touch and female companionship.

Don't wait until you feel better...because connection IS the medicine I'm prescribing. Wink

Are you exercising? Meditating? There are lots of things that help increase inner balance. See what looks good here: All are suggestions that have benefited other folks here.

As for libido, it's normal for it to go into a slump as part of the healing, although the timing of your current slump sounds a bit unusual.

Keep me posted. I want to hear that you're improving and what you did that worked. I'm sorry for all your pain. Sounds dreadful.

*big hug*


Yo Gold,
You seem like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place in terms of your own body. You say that you frequently have involuntary orgasms but do not have any libido/drive to go and meet females.

I personally think Marnia's advice is good that regardless of your desire, you should see about connecting in person with some women. It might not be the kick in the ass literally you need, but it's essentially up to you to go and connect. This abstaining is not a solve-all route, but it is certainly an aid when it comes to swagger. Perhaps read up on attracting women and continue abstaining from porn and masturbation and see how it goes. Good luck.