Separate bedrooms

Submitted by freedom on
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What do you all think about partners having separate bedrooms? How does this choice fit into a karezza-based lifestyle?

I can’t have much personal opinion on this as I’ve not had sufficient experience with a partner to know how I feel about this. I think I get some of the reasons for and against, but I’m not sure. I don’t know what would work for me now or in the future.

I realize it is pretty

I realize it is pretty common. It has also been more common historically.

How to you think a couples choice to have separate bedrooms changes as they switch to karezza or is it irrelevant?

My thought is that

couples are a lot more likely to sleep together if they use karezza. It simply has the effect of making intimacy more appealing. You don't need as much "space."

Personally, I think there's much to be gained by sleeping together. I'm reminded of the late psychiatrist, Von Urban, who said he saw many marital problems resolve themselves when he was able to persuade the couples to sleep together. He wrote:

Cases in which both partners have declared that they preferred twin beds because they disturbed each other, but later were persuaded to occupy a double bed, showed obvious improvement in their relations after a few nights. They became more harmonious, more indulgent toward each other's weaknesses and, occasionally, a seemingly dying love revived between them.

Yes, it's tough to make the switch at first if you have been sleeping apart, but the adjustment is surprisingly rapid. Even snoring can be accommodated with time and an extra pillow or two.


When my lover and I first started out together, we were having conventional sex and we were *not* able to sleep in the same bed~~it got to the point where he would go sleep in my guest bedroom at some point during the night.

Then as we got more and more into karezza, we found that we no longer felt as restless and unable to relax as we did before~~we were actually able to sleep in the same bed.

And now, we can even fall asleep *connected* while spooning.

Funny how things have changed! Smile


Gary had a similar

experience. We started with the Exchanges, but he told me he hadn't been able to sleep through the night with a lover. Within a few nights we were sleeping just fine, and he loves it now.