On separating sex and love

Submitted by loana on
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You wrote about people who separate sex and love in your book, they have intimate relationships with people who are "just friends" and thier sexual relationships are more superficial. What more do you have to say about this?

Hmmmm....

That's a broad question. My point is just that separation creeps into our intimate relationships over and over. We assume that passion and a deep heart connection are normally found together, but except for the honeymoon period of sexual addiction, they seldom are.

People may guard their hearts, but connect genitals, which tends to lead to superficial relationships. Or they may have a non-orgasmic relationship, with easy trust and affection (wither as friends or Taoist lovers). Or they may have hot, orgasmic sex and (after a time) a love-hate relationship (or some uncomfortable variation, like substance addiction, as they try to cope).

This list of alternatives may make perfect sense if sexual neurochemistry (with alienating high/low dopamine cycle) is taken into account. Unfortunately, however, the mainstream press is still buying into a "happily ever after" fairytale that makes many people feel they are doing something wrong. Actually, evolution is just at work....

Happily ever after...

I know what you mean when you express disbelief about the" happily forever after" fairytale but in fairytale language this does not relate to the union between couples. Rather describing the inner journey, it refers to the princess (our deep intuition and ability to receive and understand the "why" in our lives) falling in love with the prince (our ability to take competent action). It is this union that results in the 'happily ever after' since we become the smartest/strongest unit we can be. Sadly, many people project and delegate those qualities onto other persons which always ends in disaster ...
When we realize the power of our own princess and prince loving each each other we also come to see the necessity of the female directing the male -- again not necessarily refering to persons Smile
The WHY we do something must always direct the HOW we are going to act and that does have a happy ending ...

When we don't ... check out the Queens and the Kings in http://www.websida.com/F