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I am not addicted or desensitized, but I did masturbate to porn frequently and I do suffer from social anxiety. So I really dont know what to do. Since I love porn TO DEATH but I also dont want to miss an opportunity to become more self confident, this is an extremely important decision to me. I am currently porn free since almost a month which hasnt been a great overcoming, but I really like porn. Its not that I want to stop watching it (but of course I want to become more self-assured). My last orgasm was 10 days ago, so I'm currently rebooting. No changes so far.
I've read a lot of stuff on these sites but I'm still trying to understand this whole theory. So, the high dopamin release of porn causes my dopamin receptors to decrease which leads to a lower level of dopamin during normal activities which makes me more anxious. But what are the differences between the dopamin releases of porn, fast food, sex etc. Wouldnt these activities have the same effect? Why does only porn make my social anxiety worse? The motivation to go out there and meet girls was always there at the time when I watched a lot of porn. I am just so anxious while talking to them.

I must say the information you can get on yourbrainonporn and reunuting is really helpful and it is A LOT. But I found nothing on how to deal with porn after rebooting. After I finished rebooting, can it make my social anxiety worse If I look at porn once in a while. (Once in a week or less).
Sorry for my bad english! Looking forward to your input

Thanks a lot

Good questions. Is your

Good questions. Is your social anxiety better without porn?
First, it's an interesting comment you pose: "I found nothing on how to deal with porn after rebooting". What makes it interesting to me, is that it is a perfectly reasonable question. Fifteen years ago, no one would have considered asking such a question I have only one suggestion - let it go.

Secondly, dopamine is only the beginning of an addiction process. True addiction requires specific structural changes (neuroplasticity) along with chemical changes (accumulation of deltafosb)... and a whole lot more. Sounds like you did not cross the line from use to addiction. Addiction research has as its prime focus to understand the changes involved that move one into an addictive state.

As you saw all rewarding activities involve dopamine being released. What makes porn different from sex? Or carrot sticks different from potato chips? There's a lot to learn when comes to addiction.

For junk food ann porn, two variables come into play:

1) Our brain very quickly becomes sensitized to valuable rewards, such as junk food and Internet porn, since both are superstimulating forms of the real deal. Sensitization means that our brain forms stronger pathways that produce extra dopamine when exposed to particular stimuli. (This happens due to CREB and Delta FosB)

2) Both junk food and porn can be used to override natural satiation mechanisms. Feelings of fullness can be overridden by a yummy dessert, or feelings of 'I'm done' can be overridden by novel porn. (Burst of dopamine...eventually leading to low dopamine)

As described in the following article, rats allowed unlimited access to "cafeteria food" pigged out and saw immediate changes in their dopamine system. Eventually their brains became desensitized (low dopamine & dopamine D2 receptors) which led to more gorging.

Has Evolution Trained Our Brains to Gorge on Food and Sex?

Low dopamine or dopamine receptors has been implicated in social anxiety. We use the term "porn addiction" but brain changes caused by excessive porn are on a continuum.

I'm not feeling worse. I've

I'm not feeling worse. I've actually never felt bad. I'm just nervous in the company of the opposite sex.

But my actual question is whether it will affect my anxiety if I look at porn once a week after rebooting (I can control my use, and I always could).

I dont think viewing porn

I dont think viewing porn will help with your social anxiety. The way I see it, watching porn is a one sided conversation. They perform to get you aroused by just clicking a button. Its an instant gratification and the fear of rejection is never possible. I believe porn makes you uncomfortable with uncertainty, since it conditions you to be an observer rather than a participant. Do yourself a favour, stop PM, and you should have a control of your anxiety. But dont take it from me, I was just in a similar boat a couples of months ago and a few weeks abstinence sure helped alot.
Bon Chance!!!

So basically any form of

So basically any form of fantasy, images, ads, music videos or porn (its all the same, these are all images; the only difference is the intensity) during masturbation is likely to make my anxiety worse. So when I masturbate (rarely in the future) I should focus on the sensation itself for the rest of my life?

Dont get me wrong, your answers are really comprehensible and helpful. (Thank you so much) But Its kind of hard to believe that every form of arousing material while masturbating is reducing my self-confidence when its not part of an addiction process.

It's not that

images are "bad." The issue is that they're *cues* to a primitive part of your brain. Likeanidiot explained their role really well in this very entertaining and touching account: "You Built A Harem"

The purpose of avoiding cues for a time is to let your brain return to normal sensitivity. The purpose of masturbating to sensations is to get you ready for "real" sex, so you rely on physical sensations, not head trips. When you have sex, you want it to be just the two of you. Wink

Also, if you're masturbating during the reboot and you fantasize to porn scenarios, it keeps alive, or even strengthens, the brain circuits that you're trying to weaken by not watching porn.

Does that make sense?


Anxiety is just one side effect of excessive porn use and withdrawal. It's not the images that create anxiety. It's the depleted state of mind while your brain is needing to heal/healing.

So anything you can do to speed your healing can ultimately lessen anxiety.

My question refered to the

My question refered to the time after healing/rebooting.
(Of course I avoided all of those cues you wrote about and I'm definitely going to do so for at least another month).

Note: I'm not addicted, never was and not in danger of becoming addicted. My consumption never escalated. But the two things that brought me here were:
1. I love masturbating to porn/images in general
2. I am nervous in company of attractive girls

So I am trying to figure out if I can combine getting more self-confident with continuing to masturbate(not as often as before and of course after a time without PMO or MO)


sorry I misunderstood. Experiment for yourself when the time comes. There's no one right answer here. And since you weren't hooked, you have more options. That said, I suspect that masturbation without porn is the safest in terms of preparing you for future intercourse.

So in other words..

the *cues* are created by watching something before you climax so they are entrenched in your mind as something pleasurable? Is it possible to create *cues* by accident then? What if while you M your looking at a drinking glass for some reason and you did this a number of times. Can you then be *cued* by a drinking glass? Just wanting to see if i understand right.

Cues are

whatever you associated from the environment. In your example, if you masturbated/porn and looked at a glass, the glass could become a cue. Later when you saw the glass, the sensitized pathways would release dopamine leading to cravings. Just like Pavlovs dogs.

Yea thats exactly what I was thinking...

What if your masturbating only looking at the glass and no pron? You focus on the curves and the shape of the glass and you do this for months even years will you then just get off to looking at glasses?!?!? Is that even scientifically possible or is there something to only getting to that point with another human because of instilled biological genes or whatever.

I wonder if this could work

I wonder if this could work for unrelated concepts like counter-terrorism. Massive reprogramming through sexuality seems more powerful than programs such as Voice of America which few can understand. The Jihadists seems to be way ahead of brain science with the promise of future virgins.

As far as porn being "bad"

As far as porn being "bad" in general, I can only say this. I believe that porn is like alcohol. Some people can do it in moderation or excess and have no addiction, and some become addicted. And like alcohol it is undeniably POISON. Everyone has a different tolerance to the poison. And, like alcohol, you don't need it and stand to loose nothing by dropping it entirely.

Hey guys! Maybe you're

Hey guys! Maybe you're interested in the another perspective and how things went. I really wanted to try this out so I'm currently 45 days MO- and 52 days PMO-free, so the "rebooting" (don't know if you can call it that way without an actual addiction) is now closed. I had no changes so I guess porn didn't influence things.
But it looks like I will have sex some time soon, so it's obviously I have to O the days before. Otherwise I will come after two thrusts.

I think I will go for PMO once a week. Marnia said: once a week is fine but skip the porn (too easy to get overstimulated and escalate). But I can control my usage and never escalated so I think this won't be a problem. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I'm just reflecting if I should masturbate with or without porn a few days before I have sex, but my first O after this period will be with porn (so looking forward to this :)

Looking forward to your input

It really wouldn't bother me

It really wouldn't bother me at all experiencing such a chaser. What so funny? (serious question) I just thought it would be interesting for some of you when I experiment with porn after this phase. As I said, the only side effect of porn which I'd like to avoid is social anxiety, but meanwhile I'm not so sure there is a connection.

Thanks alot...looked him up

Thanks alot...looked him up and his thoughts seem really interesting. Definitely gonna read some of his stuff.

edit: read some articles/watched lectures of him; I tend to believe more and more that porn has not much to do with my anxiety with girls.
pro/contra to this theory:
+ nothing changed since i quit PMO
+ not addicted
- cowardly lion article on psychologytoday (1 question: I'm sure all of you read that article. Did it refer only to excessive porn consume or to infrequent usage too?)

Yes, I do. And I really have

Yes, I do. And I really have no problem interacting with guys or girls who don't seem attractive to me. I'm only anxious in the company of attractive girls my age. And this is the point where I think porn maybe could have an affect on me.

I think that porn can make

I think that porn can make you picky regarding girls coz if you don't like someone in a porno, you just switch films.

I understand your anxieties. I get very nervous around really pretty girls. It's crazy. I almost become a different person. I blush, become flustered, and start talking like a lunatic.

I think the trick is not putting pretty girls on a pedestal. Maybe when you stop watching porn you'll develop a new eye for female beauty. But I'm a 24y/o virgin so take that comment with a grain of salt;)

almost 2 month now....still

almost 2 month now....still no changes, withdrawal etc.

In another thread on this forum someone said something like: "I thought i wasn't addicted, since i could stop watching" (can't find the thread, do you know which one it is?). Can someone explain to me why this isn't true ?

I also have another question for a better understanding. So the high dopamine release while watching porn will numb my dopamine receptors which will cause low dopamine in general and THAT is what causes/strengthens anxiety, right?

How often is too often ? I understand that if that extremely high release happens all the time, it can cause problems. But a very high dopamine release can't be a bad thing in general (or is it?). Does this high release affect general dopamine levels regardless of how often it appears?

uuuu wrote:I also have

[quote=uuuu]I also have another question for a better understanding. So the high dopamine release while watching porn will numb my dopamine receptors which will cause low dopamine in general and THAT is what causes/strengthens anxiety, right?[/quote]
The change in dopamine signaling is the same for all addictions: A decline in both dopamine and dopamine receptors. This leads to fewer nerve impulses in very specific circuits. The experience you "feel" is not dopamine or dopamine receptors - it is nerve impulses traveling along nerve cells. So either low dopamine or low receptors can affect your mood for the worse.

High levels of dopamine - as in cocaine, or normal levels with continued stimulation (junk food, gambling, porn), can cause a decline in dopamine receptors and baseline dopamine levels. So internet porn would not necessarily cause *higher* release of dopamine than sex. Although a cue can cause a big surge of dopamine.

Low levels of dopamine signaling - as in withdrawal - are associated with generalized anxiety. However, social anxiety, or any feeling state, is far more complex than one neurotransmitter, and involves multiple interconnected circuits run by various neurotransmitters. To be clear - a specific neurotransmitter does not equal a specific mood or behavior. That said, rising dopamine signaling seems to help with SAD - and the reports of improvements by recovering users are too many to be coincidental.

[quote=uuuu]How often is too often ? I understand that if that extremely high release happens all the time, it can cause problems. But a very high dopamine release can't be a bad thing in general (or is it?). Does this high release affect general dopamine levels regardless of how often it appears? [/quote]

As you know, there is no research on how porn affects on the brain (although there's new research on how other Internet addiction does: And addiction is not necessarily related to how high dopamine levels rise. It can be more related to lack of responsiveness to normal pleasure.

The upper limits of natural dopamine release is sex. In theory, porn cannot be higher than sex. This is very confusing, and one reason why most psychologists don't believe porn addiction exists. I suspect it is 1) chronic use (many hits on demand, like smoking packs of cigarettes - which is also very addictive), and 2) overriding natural satiation mechanisms that contribute to dopamine dysregulation.

Consider that obese individuals are addicted to food, and their dopamine receptors have declined, yet eating yummy food releases only half as much dopamine as sex/masturbation. Overriding feelings of fullness causes dopamine dysregulation.

There's also something called 'sensitization.' For example, the reward circuitry immediately releases special proteins when rats are given addictive drugs. This causes the animal to crave more of the drug. I suspect this happens with porn use. The craving leads to more use, which leads to an eventual decline in dopamine receptors, and a buildup of the protein DeltaFosb, which intensifies the cravings for more....and so on.

Once you have a porn addiction, all other dopamine releasing (natural) stimuli are now lower than porn, including sex. Porn induced dopamine levels have not risen; response to other natural rewards have declined.

What is "too much" can't be answered. If you are asking, "Where does one cross the line from use to addiction?" that is the great mystery of addiction neuroscience. If you are wondering what amount of regular porn use might affect your behavior - only you can answer that.

If you are asking, "What amount of porn can affect a person?" the answer could be a one-time use (of Internet porn). In my opinion, the psychological/physiological implications of porn use are profound. I have visited hundreds of forums (non-recovery) where men link to us and discuss porn. I have seen thousands of posts. One line from the Matrix keeps popping up "You are living in a dream world Neo. The Matrix has you."

Who would have thought, right?

Thank you so much gary for

Thank you so much gary for your incredible answer.

Like i said before I will experiment a little. I did it. After two months without PMO I decided to masturbate to porn again. For the same reason I quit porn for a while - To see what happens. At the moment I just feel relieved because I didn't orgasm for so long.

try? At the time i

try? At the time i masturbated daily I often masturbated without porn. But now that I decided to do it only once a week I really want it to be as good as possible. It's just better (more intense obviously) with porn.

It's better

because it overstimulates the brain's reward circuitry...which is why it can become worse over time. Everything "less" than that high will gradually seem uninteresting, which puts you in a bad place for enjoying conventional sex.

Without the extreme stimulation, your brain gradually becomes more sensitive and regular sex seems delicious.

Make sense? In other words, sometimes it pays to think longer term.

if i ever get to the point

if i ever get to the point where I can understand how someone might find normal sex uninteresting, I'm definitely gonna stop watching.
But right now I'm just interested in bettering my anxiety. Low levels of dopamine signaling (which might make it worse) are caused by dopamine releasing stimuli which happen very often. Once a week is not often, right?

I think it was you, marnia, who compared porn to alcohol in another thread and I think they're very similar in how you have to deal with it. Please correct me if I overlooked a discrepancy.

Just to be clear, we don't

Just to be clear, we don't think alcohol can be compared to Internet porn. Maybe you have read a few of our articles (see below). Put simply our reward circuitry evolved to respond to food, sex, and bonding and not chemicals. Only about 10% of users ever get addicted to drugs (except nicotine). Rats have to specially bred, or housed in isolated boxes before they can turned into addicts.

Every animal likes food and sex.

Today we have supernormal versions of natural rewards - junk food, and Internet porn. Today we have 79% of adult Americans overweight, and 35% obese - and none of them want to be. In other words, supernormal versions of natural rewards can hook a far greater percentage of users than drugs can. In addition most porn users start at a young age when their dopamine is highest and their frontal cortex control centers are less developed. In addition, neuroplasticity is at it's highest at the start puberty, just when we are forming life long attitudes, beliefs and behaviors.

And what about the psychological impact of Internet porn use? We are molded by our environment.

Has Evolution Trained Our Brains to Gorge on Food and Sex?
Protect Your Appetite for Pleasure

Alcohol was a bad example,

Alcohol was a bad example, my bad. Then let's compare it to junk food (also a supernormal version of natural rewards like you said)
If i didn't knew that too much junk food was bad for my health i probably would eat it everyday (exactly like i did with porn at the time I didn't know too much of it can cause damage). But of course I know that burger and fries are not good for me and thats why I eat a big mac once or twice a week but my bodyfat remains very low, I'm healthy and athletic.

Porn is different

Analogies can only go so far. However, science has shown that binging on high fat/sugary dense food alters the reward circuitry and circulating hormones, inducing cravings for more of the same. So it's not just deposition of fat that is affected, your brain is too. In fact, fat cells release hormones that act on the reward circuit to affect dopamine.

The analogy to food no longer applies when we consider the change in perception, or memories formed, due to porn use. We rarely get into the psychological aspects, but studies using questionaires have shown that one viewing of porn can alter ones attitudes and beliefs.

It also falls apart when one recognizes that satiation mechanisms will limit your intake of calories. There are no limits or satiation mechanisms to watching porn. So you may be able to pig out on junk food, and maybe surpass your caloric limts by 500-1000 in a weekend. A hunter-gatherer could easily match that.

However, no hunter-gatherer could view "300 vaginas before getting of bed", or click through endless scenes and genre avialble to a pron user. You could experience more potential mates and sex scenes than a hunter-gather would experience in a lifetime.

In other words, you can't eat a lifetimes worth of food in a weekend, but you could experience a lifetimes worth of females, novelty, and sex scenes in a weekend of porn use.

Escalation was never and

Escalation was never and will never be a problem. Thats for sure.

Of course it wouldnt work for everybody. I've read alot of threads in this forum and I wouldnt recommend it to most of the guys on here. But people are different. In the last 2 months (without PMO) I didn't experience any of the things that everybody else on here experienced without PMO. I had no withdrawal, my mood didn't change (was pretty good), my sex drive didn't change. Nothing changed.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not searching for an excuse to start watching porn again. I just don't think that "porn is bad - never look at it again" is the only way. For a serious addict of course it is the only solution.

So is it kinda like

eating steaks all the time and then having to settle for eating ham sandwiches instead. Youll always be wanting the steak because it was way more savoring than a plain ham sandwich. But after not eating steaks for a number of years ham sandwiches all of a sudden become tastier?

I don't know if

"sudden" is the right word, but Eskimos eat blubber day in and day out for months of the year and it seems to always taste yummy to them.

Not sure about steak and ham, but our capacity for pleasure becomes more nuanced as we cut out extreme stimuli. Kinda like turning off the loud music, and noticing you enjoy the subtleties of other kinds of music more...gradually.

Hi guysAs you know i didn't

Hi guys

As you know i didn't PMO for 2 months. After that I decided to masturbate once a week. But everytime I did that I was so aroused that I could literally ejaculate after seconds. Didn't matter If i did with or without porn. I feel that a certain degree of desensitization would benefit me. I wasn't desentized at the time I masturbated daily, but now that I do it once a week, I am so easily aroused it's strange.

As you can read in my previous posts, the ONLY reason i decided to stop PMO daily is my social awkwardnes (which COULD be connected with PMO). For me, the desensitization itself and every other aspect of PMO is a posivite thing.

no change

[quote=Marnia]you saw no change in your social skills during the reboot, or that you were more social when using porn? Or something else entirely? I'm confused.[/quote]
no change

the same things i always

the same things i always did. i'm not anti-social, but after 2 months of no PMO I felt the same awkwardness as always.
But I'm sure i will handle this. It got better last year. So that's not the reason I'm here.

I just want to know If PMO once a week will hinder my progress. How can that make me socially awkward?

Are you expecting more of

Are you expecting more of yourself than is reasonable for you because of individual personality, introversion, etc? How are you one on one?

Do your own experiments, preferably without porn. Does it feel toxic to you? I can tell when I'm about to break through into another level of progress because porn feels like kryptonite. PMO doesn't make you socially awkward, but it does limit your own brain sensitivity to biofeedback including social cues. One-free orgasm makes it harder for me to look people in the eyes for example. Once a week will keep you forever in the post orgasm cycle. You'll miss out on learning about yourself. It's a lot better than PMO daily or more, but it might not let you get where you want to go.

I am very quiet one on one

I am very quiet one on one and I too find it hard to look people in the eyes. I just feel uncomfortable. But I don't know if this is noticeable to anybody else. It's not that I would turn red or start to stutter. I just don't talk much.
What does feel toxic? Porn? No, it feels awesome before, during and after PMO.
"One-free orgasm" - whats that?
Does this "post orgasm cycle" only appear at PMO or during MO and sex too?

Yes PMO feels great

So do cocaine, alcohol, gambling (if you're a gambler), videogaming (if you're a gamer) Smile

The neurochemical cycle that freedom is talking about shows up in the days following porn's use - and more so in some folks than others. That's why its difficult for most users to make the connection between porn use and mysterious feelings of separation from others. For more on what may be the science behind this cycle, see "The Passion Cycle":

Too much stimulation via orgasm causes subtle changes in perception, and most people never realize what's going on. When you're in relationship, perception shifts are not your friend. They can make you feel you have fallen out of love. ("Who IS this person???")

My thought is that it might be worth spending a few weeks just MOing once a week and then compare with PMOg once a week and see if you notice a difference.

Meanwhile, assuming you're right that you are unaffected by such a cycle, it means that you need to find ways to connect with people that feel right to you. Ideas here:

Also, we're noticing something on this forum that we weren't expecting. Younger guys who started masturbating to Internet porn, and spent a lot of time doing it, have not "wired their brains" for interactions with others very well.

Ideally that happens during adolescence. You learn to make eye contact and flirt, etc. The brain is less plastic as you get older, so you have to make more of an effort if you want to wire up these basic skills later. Won't take long, but it will take a consistent effort. It's not theoretical; you have to engage with other people to kick it in. I'm not saying this is your issue. I'm just saying it *can* be an issue for some.

Let us know what works for you.


I just PMOd. For what signs should I be on the lookout in the next days?

[quote=Marnia]Meanwhile, assuming you're right that you are unaffected by such a cycle [/quote]
I never said that.

[quote=Marnia]Too much stimulation via orgasm causes subtle changes in perception, and most people never realize what's going on. When you're in relationship, perception shifts are not your friend. They can make you feel you have fallen out of love. ("Who IS this person???")[/quote]
A relationship is not really my goal. I'm 20 and I want to enjoy being young first, if you know what i mean. (yes with orgasms)

[quote=Marnia]My thought is that it might be worth spending a few weeks just MOing once a week and then compare with PMOg once a week and see if you notice a difference. [/quote]
Definitely gonna try it out. Although i didn't even notice a different during no MO at all.

Have a great day and thank you so much for answering my questions and helping

Sorry I thought

you weren't seeing post-porn effects. (And I was pretty impressed. Wink ) So what do you notice? Basically, low dopamine/response can show up so many ways that it would be confusing to list them. Have a look here and you'll see the extreme versions of what you need to lookout for as you go forward:

Yes, I realize a relationship isn't yet your goal. I was just explaining that these ups and downs shift perception of a partner - even after a hook-up. Too much stimulation kicks the Coolidge Effect into overdrive in many: Then you're constantly dissatisfied...and thinking your partner(s) is the problem when it's your own neurochemistry shifting your perception. Porn is training for a Coolidge Effect perspective...for both men and women.

When you're young and promiscuous, this seems like useless information, but you may get tired of the merry-go-round in time. More climaxes with more bodies don't equal more matter what your limbic brain tells you. Smile

sorry for the confusion

[quote=Marnia]Sorry I thought you weren't seeing post-porn effects.[/quote] I actually was not seeing any effects, but that doesn't mean there are none. Sorry for the confusion. I wish i could express myself better in english. (I'm austrian)

I read all messages on this

I read all messages on this blog and now i spiked so hard...I see myself after rebooting like this guy who started this blog (i have somekind blocade /awkwardnes toward girls too,anxiety?),nothing changes only after that you can cum in about 1 min because your penis is became more sensitive,but which women would like to sex last one min (last couple of days spiking about this)?
Sorry about being negative right now,but it's hard times for me,and i read this entire blog (never should read) :/
I'm nearly 5 weeks PMO free btw

A reboot is

a return to normal sensitivity. Before you end up there, you generally swing back and forth for a while. So it's too soon to worry about how you'll feel at the end of the process.

It's also true that you young guys who have only known masturbation to Internet porn have a bit of rewiring to do. It's hard to see that your ability to socialize and flirt has been affected by overstimulation of your brain...because you've never experienced anything else. It's a real act of courage to keep going under the circumstances.

The alternative could be a long dreary spiral that just makes the social anxiety worse, however.

Men are not normally like porn stars in terms of "staying power" with vigorous sex. If they are one of three things is going on (for most of them).

1. They have numbed their brains to sexual pleasure to a degree (see cartoon strip here:,

2. They have learned a lot about self-control via Daoist Techniques or some similar tradition (see book:

3. They have taken time within a relationship to attune to a partner.

"A reboot is a return to normal sensitivity"

"A reboot is a return to normal sensitivity" hmm

I experienced the same as this guy "eg112" (i think his english is even worse than mine Wink ). The only thing that changed was the sensitivity. It was something like this:
daily PMO - normal sensitivity
no PMO - insane sensitivity, i could ejaculate after seconds

Obviously something is different with us young guys who grew up with the internet. I just don't know the solution.


"no PMO - insane sensitivity, i could ejaculate after seconds"

When you ejaculated in seconds, was it masturbation with or without porn?

The odd thing is that some men experience both ED and premature ejaculation, with both being cured by staying away from porn. pcb is one example. We know that porn use can create "sensitized neural pathways" which release more dopamine than normal. Sensitization may play a role in premature ejaculation.

Check back

in a few months and let us know what's working for you, okay? It helps others who may also not be addicted.

By the way, I think it's normal to feel somewhat stressed around prospective mates. I once read that young male monkeys have higher cortisol (stress hormone) until they mate. I don't think biology wants us calm, cool and collected when it's time to get into the mating business. That said, I think learning to stay calm has advantages. Good luck.