Touched Deprived

Submitted by Overcomer on
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Hay guys,
I’m 8 days in. I’m getting all this emotional stuff coming up and I’m doing my best to address it. I realise that I’m touch deprived. It makes me really sad …I feel like the most untouched person in the world. That’s probably why I’m so drawn to cats.

A Problem: when some people touch me I immediately begin to sexualise it in my mind. Then I get embarrassed and the other person probably senses that too. Hopefully when I get porn off the brain I’ll be able to stop sexualising everything. It’s stupid…sometimes I’m talking to a girl or a guy and I start to imagine them in pornographic positions. Or Im talking to a girl and I suddenly think that she wants to have sex with me. These thoughts make me blush and make girls act really awkward around me.

I’ve had some good friends who are pretty tactile. However, in my present situation I don't get much touch. It makes me feel really lonely and stink. Ideally I’d like to find a girl for some huggin’ and lovin’…
Do you guys ever feel touch deprived? Any advice?

touch is very very important

first, I would suggest to learn to touch yourself in a different way.
not to automatically masturbate - for me, the Palm-genital energy flow described here
http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-solo-energy-practices
has worked wonders.
check out other methods here as well.
http://yourbrainonporn.com/solo-tools

it's basically a question of reprogramming the circuits beetween your brain and your body, so that you're no longer in the vicious dopamine cycle: visual stimulation - masturbation - orgasm that causes the dopamine highs in your brain (dear marnia and gary correct me if I'm wrong here). That's what leads you to be oversexed in your contacts with women.

so anything that changes the way you 'feel' your body is good. For instance, yesterday I took a hot bath, filled with herbal bath foam, rubbed and washed myself with a natural perfumed soap (while watching my favourite comedy show).
But it might also be sports, or dancing, or biking, or getting a massage - anything that you'll enjoy Wink

and to have some cuddle partners / girls that you have no sex with, you don't kiss or caress, just hug for a while, is very very good. I'm currently looking for one Wink but it's not so difficult to find one - girls most have a maternal streak in them Wink and they need hugging as much as we do - well maybe us ex-addicted need a bit more Wink you can be very clear about this - just tell a friend how you feel, be very simple and clear about it - just a hug. I'm sure there will be no problem. Don't be shy Wink

good luck in your path of rediscovering your body and yourself, and finding somebody to hug.

love to all


yeh i'm gonna try out these

yeh i'm gonna try out these solo energy practices. I just thought, a massage therapist could be helpful too. I've got really tense back muscles PLUS thats some form of human touch. Actually, giving an receiving massage is possibly a good way to help and get helped. About a cuddle buddy ...I don't know many girls who would be up for that hehe...their boyfriends certainly wouldn't like the idea.

Giving and

receiving massage is one of the best ways to reprogram the sexual feelings. If you can afford it, I urge you to get massage. If live in an area that has amassage school. A school may have "intro to massage classes" to try to recruit students, or other classes for the general public. Check it out if they do.

In receiving a massage, not only do you get to be touched; you experience it in a structured, non-sexual format.

In giving massage you attempt to enter a state of non sexual giving and caring. Plus, if you learned a few massage techniques, you could massage friends (rub their shoulders, or backs) as a way to give non sexual touch.

I think everyone should take a massage class.

single girl and the male

that's interesting - when I say cuddle buddy you think about their boyfriend.
aren't there any single girls around? and if they are, do you have to look at them as potentiel sex objects?
for me girls were always divided into several categories:
- the beautiful ones which I couldn't have
- the ones which were interested in me which were easy to get but not so beautiful
- the others, which didn't interest me.

NoPMO changes all that. I learnt to look at women as a whole - not in a category. beautiful/not beautiful wanting me/me wanting them - the only category is: REAL ONES / PORN GIRLS + PROSTITUTES.

Now I go for the real ones Wink

And thanks to that, I can meet a beautiful girl, not be tense around here, express her my interest in her, let her interest in me grow, feel a real connection.

much much better than jerking off to porn, believe me Wink

and in the meantime, cuddle-buddies are to be found. If you're too shy (which I sort of am) to ask a single girl to cuddle, or afraid of losing control, or of getting excited by it - why not try to be friends? After all, tenderness and care can also be transmitted by mere presence, through friendship. They might not be what you want right now, the physical aspect - but deep down, they're even more important, and more real and concrete than touch.

friendship with a woman makes you grow opens doors in you because you want to reciprocate apeases the craving for your addiction and the dopamine highs.

love to all


Consider chasing the

Consider chasing the hugging, not the loving for a while. In my experience, women can tell when you are looking for "loving" when you meet them. They will warm up to you faster if you are just looking for friends.

I really like Gary's idea of massage. I avoided massages for years but then had one and really enjoyed it. It was completely non-sexual but also very relaxing and warm.

yes i also feel very touch

yes i also feel very touch deprived and it sucks. it makes me feel needy and down at times. I get to cuddle with my baby niece every so often which is very nice, but i would love to find a romantic partner to cuddle with

I too am feeling VERY

I too am feeling VERY touch-deprived, so I appreciate the suggestions in this thread. What really irks me is that, when I was deep into porn, I didn't WANT to be touched. I wanted to be entirely left alone. Man, my brain was really screwed up (and still is--but getting better quick!).

For now, I don't even desire a relationship, or sex. Just want a female with whom I can engage in hardcore cuddling sessions, and who makes for good company.