I would like to start off by thanking Marnia and Gary for this informative and inspiring website. I would also like to commend all of you on here who are struggling to get better; I do know how difficult it is. I have been following the progress of people on this site for about 3-4 years now and I’ve seen a lot of success and failures, speaking of which you really should repost Redbeards entries, they were very inspiring, much like that of likeandiot’s. I have a lot of questions and ideas but I’ll only present a few right now so as to be to overwhelming (although it probably will be anyway, I apologize.) If you want to jump to the bottom feel free to read the questions there, they are for Marnia, Gary and all members.
A little background first. I majored in Neuropsychology while in college but left halfway through my senior year to start my career. While I’m definitely not an authority on the matter, I have kept up with neurological research since then and I have to say after years of reading your articles, in my personal opinion, you guys are spot on. Of course I’m 100% biased because I want you to be right. I have had a masturbation addiction since I was about 11 or 12; I’m in my mid thirties now. I have never escalated to porn. I started masturbating to my imagination and then to magazines but I never ramped up to porn. Women’s lingerie catalogs or even sports magazines (I’m attracted to athletic women) were all I ever needed. With the Internet it is the same thing, I still use my imagination half of the time. I would like to ask Gary or Marnia why this could be? I figured its either I’m an outlier, I’m in the small percentage of people who don’t need to escalate.
The other theory I have is that I have played sports and exercised my entire life and that for some reason the physical activity has balanced me out. That would be great if the latter were true because it would give credence to the theory that exercise could help. I should also add that other than the constant pull to masturbate I suffer no withdrawal symptoms.
Unfortunately I have never beaten the addiction to images on the web or masturbation. This I believe has led to ED problems in the past and present when there have been real women in my bed. I should point out that I have dated a lot in the past and have had many girlfriends. I never had a problem with ED most of my sexual life but that changed in the last decade or so since having the availability of the Internet. I believe that even though I don’t need porn to get off, my dopamine an prolactin levels are so out of whack (no pun intended) that it throws me off when I’ve had real life receptive women in front of me.
On top of that I also believe that the isolation of being by myself when I masturbate combined with the endless variety of women the Internet has provided me (personal harem) has desensitized me to the real thing. Throw in the fact that I normally masturbate in the prone position, which does not simulate real sexual contact on your member. I’ve since stopped doing that as of 2 months ago. Wow, after looking at that in writing I do have a lot to work on! I have many more questions and theories but I’ll save these for later, this has already gotten much bigger than I thought.
Question 1. With what little information I have provided, I can provide more later, why do you think I have in 20+ years of masturbating never escalated?
Question 2. Do you think that because I am only desensitized by masturbation and not porn I may heal at a faster rate than others as long as I don’t look at any images online?
I know that no one can answer these questions scientifically but I trust your opinions and answers. Thank you ahead of time.