21year old - will avoiding masturbation be necessary?

Submitted by postman_pat on
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Hi everybody,

I just got to know www.yourbrainonporn.com due to what has happened/ not happened between my girlfriend and me.

I feel like I have been masturbating on porn a lot (since age 14) and that this could be a reason for the images in my head to have changed so I don't get as aroused for "normal" sex. I want to try to not masturbate nor watch porn for 2 months and I hope it will improve.

So far, so good.

I have two questions for you guys, since you're probably more experienced with the problem:
1) Me and my girlfriend will be separated for 2 months starting next friday due to an internship I'm having. I started avoiding PMO a week ago and so now my libido is very low (as I hear is normal for the first couple of weeks). Is there a possibility to get it up for just 1 or 2 nights? I don't want to disappoint her again before we tell each other goodbye.

2) What's the use in avoiding Masturbation? I understand I need to stop watching porn so the images that turn me on change in my head.
But what's so bad about the Masturbation? I just want to know - it'll make it easier to avoid it.

Sorry for any grammatical mistakes - i'm from Germany Smile

Thank you for your help!

Welcome

From your description, I assume you have copulatory ED. That is, the inabilty to stay hard, or be as hard as you would like with your girlfriend.
Have you visited this link? http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-question - It contains the answers to your questions, and the experiences of others recovering from porn-induced ED.

There's nothing "wrong" with masturbation once your brain is rebooted. But your brain is desensitized. It would seem that stopping only porn would be enough. And it may be enough, but from what we can gather, it's not. The short answer to your question is that we have seen no man who continued to masturbate recover from porn-induced ED. If they have recovered, I suspect it takes much longer to do so.

Men with porn-induced ED have used porn to override their normal sexual satiation mechanisms. In essence, it is an overuse syndrome (like carpal tunnel syndrome) and the reward circuitry needs to take a break. Your lack of libido is screaming - "don't do this anymore." If you masturbate, it's like eating when you are not hungry, and 100 kilos overweight. You will only get fatter. You can listen to your brain and not masturbate, or overide the message and force it to do something it doesn't (really) want to do, and further numb your brain in a futile effort to stop the cravings (temporarily).

Actually, masturbation tends to activate cravings for more porn use, as your dopamine drops during the post-orgasmic period. It often leads to a porn relapse.

Please keep in mind that the urge to masturbate or watch porn is not true libido. Instead it is your addiction calling out to you. If it was true libido (age 21), you would have a raging hard-on, and be chasing your girlfriend around the apartment.

Do not compare age related ED with porn-induced ED. Age related is due to circulatory or nerve problems, hormone changes, and may other complex factors that can be summed up as getting old. Forcing an erection with age related ED will not lead to a worsening of the condition. It's not an overuse syndrome of the brain as is porn-induced ED.

When it comes to having sex during rebooting, that is a hard question to answer, but it too is covered in the link. Forcing erections with fantasy or other methods will slow down your progress. However, warm touch and maybe intercourse with the focus on sensations, can be beneficial.

Please check out the link, and all the articles under it.