Reboot blog:)

Submitted by Quen on
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Hi Everybody :)

I have a similar story to everyone else here. I had problems with porn for over 10 years which has induced ED. I mainly use it as a
n escape and mood regulator.

I have the forum for a while and after 14 days of no PMO i slipped today and yesterday. So hopefully logging my progress every couple of days will help me stay on track.

My aim is to have by 8 weeks to only have slipped twice (today and yesterday). I have already went two weeks so thats 6 weeks to go. If I make it i will consider that a success. In the past I have went 5 weeks of no PMO and if i slip and go back to day one I find it quite depressing and de-motivating.

So 14 days - 2 slips
Aiming for 60 days 2 slips

Wish me luck!:)

Reboot camp - A lurker takes the plunge

Day 20, no PMO. I'm a 46yo male and finding this site has been a revelation. The reboot journey has been a huge challenge. I'm aiming for 100 days. 100 days = 100%. I'm hoping my counting days obsessiveness will dissipate, but now it's something to (...ahem) hold on to. I'm in almost compete flatline territory. One semi hard-on during the night days five in. It's scary because my comfort zone is being challenged for the first time in many years. Hell, he's been my best buddy since 12 or 13, and now it's like he doesn't want to know me. Like any fix, it was there to soothe the pain, get me to sleep, ease the stress, kill the boredom, even celebrate the good times. Intuitively I knew it wasn't healthy, especially when I had a partner, but persisted with the vice nonetheless. More recent forays into cyberporn have cemented the problem. Have gone M free for a month before and seen the benefit but now, thanks to your websites I have a much more realistic idea about how long an effective reboot may take. I used to think 4 days was a reboot. Some taboos need to be torn down. I know there are some mighty challenges ahead but if I am accountable with myself the chances of being in a meaningful relationship are far more likely. Isn't that what we all want?

Hey Yeah i know What

Hey :)

Yeah i know What triggered the slip. It has been a stumbling block a few times for me. It sounds like a strange one but its when im overtired. I have organised myself in a way that monday to friday i have a busy and varied week that is social. PMO Doesnt even come into my head during this time. By friday im quite tired and i get very agitated if i cant sleep as i am so tired. PMO is literally a drug that chills me out and sends me to sleep. I dont have as much organised on a saturday and sunday day so when im at a loose end thats when temptation strikes.
My other triggers are:
Loneliness
If i feel overwhelmed with a task
If im in a rush to get something done
If i have had an argument with someone
If im not doing as well achieving goals that i have set myself in other areas of my life.

If anyone has any suggestions how to overcome these states of mind in a healthy way i would love to hear them :)

Good luck

One day soon, like all of us, you will arrive at a place where the number of days is not so all-encompassing because you will have made a behavioural change. That's what I'm aiming for anyway. To feel happy in my own skin without having to jerk off everyday.

Yes you are right i

Yes you are right i concentrate more on my states of mind now not simply avoiding pmo. I know if i get into 3 or 4 certain states of mind it will leave me to pmo to self medicate. So i make sure i feel good most of the day now. Ive learned how to do this through nlp and meditation and it takes effort at the start but feeling good is beginning to become a habit. During the week anyway. The weekend is where i have my problems as i dont have a girlfirend at the moment and i have more spare time. Its funny though if you investigate why you go to pmo in what situations it shows you exactly what parts of your life you do not have the way you want them and what you should change. Its like a massive alarm for that area of your life that you are so unhappy with you have to self medicate yourself from facing the reality of it. And for this at least i am thankful :)

Thanks marnia day 19 today.

Thanks marnia :) day 19 today. Woke up with a bit of morning wood which was encouraging! The weekend is usually my stumbling block. Especially saturday mornings and sunday afternoons when im on my own. Wish me luck guys!

Day 20 hey marnia its going

Day 20 hey marnia its going ok so far, i was tired last nite so i didnt do alot. Watched some tv played guitar and surfed the internet. This would be prime time for pmo in the past and i had the thoughts enter my head but i was able to deal with them. Its sat am now and this is another time i have to watch out for so i thought id make an entry. Im also using an nlp hypnosis cd which i use every day call break any bad habit by igor ledochowski. He recomends listening to the session everyday for 30 days to develop new brain pathways and form new mental habits. I have been using it for two weeks and i think it starting to work. I have a little more control in the times when im about to slip down the rabbit hole so to speak.

I like playing guitar,

I like playing guitar, training in the gym and playing soccer although these activiTies dont always give the pleasure and release im looking for. I got through the weekend thats the main thing. During the week i can usually coast as im so busy in and out of work. Day 22:)

It was encouraging reading through the blogs of peopke who hage rebooted although many are unfinished. It would be good if you had a 'hall of fame' for those who go 60 days or longer and reaped the rewards for their efforts. I find them very motivating but you have to do a bit of searching for the good ones :)

We try to put a variety there

So people get a feel for the entire process. Sometimes I forget who belongs to which one, so they don't get "finished" even when the guy added more to the story. Sorry about that. Smile

Can you put a notice on Craigslist or somewhere and find someone to practice the guitar with?

Ok so ive slipped last nite

Ok so ive slipped last nite -pmo
Things i learned from it- i usually do bikram yoga on a monday nite which gives me great sense of well being through the week. I was so exhausted i didnt go because i was out late on sat nite, spent sunday hungover i didnt sleep well on sunday nite. I found myself in bed really tired but not able to sleep. The weather was miserable and i got this feeling of depression because i wasnt keeping up to the schedule ive made for myself.
I need to be able to feel good somehow or just drift off when im that tired.
Maybe im going out too late on sat nites (5-6am)
I am going to keep my laptop out of my bedroom.
I think i will get a porn blocker - anyone have any good recommendations? Ones i have had in the past block way more than the porn sites so i found them very restrictive.

Trying really hard not to feel shitty right now